Regarding your wife's behaviour - I don't think it is necessarily racism. My room mate is 42 (kinda grim to be renting with randoms at that age, but that's a whol eother story) and so is her boyfriend. We were chatting recently and she intimated to me that her boyfriend had a younger woman claim he'd had sex with her - my room mate said, in all sincerity, 'I know his type, and she's not it. She'd young, blonde, he wouldn't go there'. She thinks she's his type and wasn't threatened by this other woman because of that, as steamingly ridiculous as her argument sounded to me. Could be your wife feels the same.
Honestly, you sound more racist than she does, from what you've said.
When she is black, you don't care. Why?
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Regarding your wife's behaviour - I don't think it is necessarily racism. My room mate is 42 (kinda grim to be renting with randoms at that age, but that's a whol eother story) and so is her boyfriend. We were chatting recently and she intimated to me that her boyfriend had a younger woman claim he'd had sex with her - my room mate said, in all sincerity, 'I know his type, and she's not it. She'd young, blonde, he wouldn't go there'. She thinks she's his type and wasn't threatened by this other woman because of that, as steamingly ridiculous as her argument sounded to me. Could be your wife feels the same.
Honestly, you sound more racist than she does, from what you've said.