When is the word "love" to be said?

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Ok me and my girlfriend have been dating about 9 mnths. I tell her all the time that I love her and she saids it back but sometimes it sounds like she just says "you too" and doesn't say i love you. She has said I love you once and I said it back. We've been off and on about 4 years now and I want to stay with her. How do I know if she is telling the truth or if she is just waiting for a better guy to come along? Did I start I love you to early? I have been saying it since 5 mnths but she started saying you too at 5 mnths?

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  • loveormoney508
    13 years ago | pl

    My fiancé and I started using the L word after about three months of being heavily in each other's lives. He is my best friend, and at first when I said it, I meant as friends. But he changed the meaning for me eventually. It's only too early if you're saying it just to say it. Make it special, like you REALLY mean it. Would you run away with this girl RIGHT NOW? Show her you would.

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  • mieoux
    13 years ago | pl

    The fact that you have been on and off for about four years IS the problem. That is what should concern you if you want something more long term rather than who said I love you when. You need to figure out whether you really have a relationship, and you are right, she could just be waiting for someone better to come along and so could you. As you know just saying I love you doesn't make it true, although it's a good thing to say it when you feel it. Ignore those who don't believe in love, those people are happy without love, so that belief system works for them, but don't listen to them unless you want to try to become like them and build a life without love. Ignore the players as well or you will end up in a shallow relationship with no real intimacy, which is a lot less fun than a real relationship.

    Are you happy together and do you enjoy each other? For each of the times you broke up, do you know why you broke up and are those reasons solved, as in if you're back together what's changed this time to bring you back together. If there are no substantial changes and you are just bouncing back and forth then either one or both of you consider the other just a last resort/backup, waiting for someone better to come along.

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  • AngelOfDeath
    14 years ago | pl

    its always too early to say love. but if you are one of the people that actually (and wrongly) believe love is real, then you should wait until she says it first, that way you know its definately not because she feels she has to

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    • jameilious
      13 years ago | pl

      I agree, with almost all of my past girlfriends I thought I loved them at some point in the relationship, then told them that. Looking back I don't have feelings for them now.

      So either love can fade, love isn't real, I can't feel true love or I just haven't felt it yet.

      I think probably love isn't really like what people say, it's just an emotion not some mysterious thing, and that it can fade (will fade?) like any other emotion.

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    • loverboy62
      14 years ago | pl

      thx but for some reason i still feel like she still just says it bc she has to bc when i started saying it the first time she would say ok but now after nine months idk know if she means it or not

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  • amberinboston
    13 years ago | pl

    What is love?
    Love is an emotion, feeling, its good, it feels gushy, sweet and tender.
    I for one, don't understand it when people are afraid to say "I love you".
    I guess they think if they say that, they're vulnerable or are obligated to marry someone.

    Well, you loved her enough to stick your penis in her.
    Love is a good word.
    Why not use it?

    Love to all
    (Hugs)
    Amber

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  • Quetzacoatl2
    14 years ago | pl

    If you're a loser, find a new gf first, then dumper. If you're a stud, dump her right now, she doesn't like you at all.

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