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For me, I was 16 when I stopped liking life, so it has been 9 years now. I thought it'd be temporary at first, but I haven't liked one day since, so it looks more like a permanent thing. What about you?
I must have been 18, and I decided, things had happened to me in the past but they were over, they didn't affect me anymore so when I looked at my life, at things I was lucky to have and saw that I still hated myself and my life I realised it must be chemical.
That thought destroyed me, people can build themselves up from hardship but when it comes to your brain and your DNA, mabye some people just don't have a chance at happiness.
I've not been the same since, I put on a smile, he'll a lot of the time it's real but the thought keeps creeping up on me, more and more recently
Man you can't think that way. I mean I can't really understand what you're going through but I'm sorry. Nobody is wired to be depressed. It's your choice to look at life how you want. You know you're a cool guy, right? I know that you have a chance at happiness, and I'm sure that there are times, like you said when you're smile is real, so you should focus on that. I hope your smiles are real more often.
I don't pretend to have a great understanding of mental illness, but I disagree that nobody is wired to be depressed. I didn't understand it at all growing up because, as a kid, I just assumed most parents behaved the way my parents did. That was until more and more time passed and I spent more time with my friends and their families. It turns out that both of my parents and all of my siblings struggled with depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, bipolar disorder...something.
I do agree that, if we are depressed, we have to deprogram ourselves and change our thoughts and responses day by day. Smiling more and focusing on the good things in life are very important. You're right that kingofcarrotflowers shouldn't think the way he does. It's just going to take a lot time to readjust.
That's not entirely true, even those it's a sweeter theory to believe.
Some people actually are wired neurologically to be more unhappy than others. Everyone has a happiness baseline and some are set lower than others.
But, I do think you're right about kingofcarrotflowers being a cool guy and I wish him happiness too.
I've never heard of a happiness baseline, is that some neurological term? I think I get what you're saying though. If I understand correctly what you're saying is that some people have high expectations while others don't. Alright I guess. But like you can change that can't you?
Hehe, not really a 'term' per se, just my own layman's term for describing a scientific sort of theory. :)
It's more like people have a range of 'happiness' that their brains are wired to sit in due to their born-with-it (inherent) disposition or to the early development of their brain during the first couple of years of life. Either way, since that feeling of overall happiness is a range--which is different for everyone, we can either be at the bottom of it, somewhere in the middle, or at the top of it.
So, to answer your question: Yes, we can change it, but in a limited way.
Although, a depressive disorder is a whole different can of worms; it's a sick brain---a damaged way of thinking which can be rectified. Maybe, in this way, you are correct then. :) Still, some people are just naturally 'sad'. I've heard that the actor, Keanu Reeves is a sad guy and he accepts that about himself with grace. Cool, eh?
I've heard that about Keanu Reeves. Hell I even remember that "Sad Keanu" meme. I also remember hearing about on his birthday he would just buy himself a cake and find a place to sit at a neighbor park and just offer a piece to anybody who wanted some. Then in an interview, not sure where or when, said that "you don't have to be happy to be alive, I'm not."
But like I mean that stuff is do to personal tragedies, like his sister dying. At least that's what I want to attribute his sadness to.
Back to the topic though, I mean I get what you're saying. From the sound of it, what you're saying is that people are born with this threshold for what they can take. That I agree with the more I think about it. But like you said you can heighten that threshold. I mean go through enough crap in your life and eventually become numb to the pain, hell you actually can get use to it. There are plenty of posts here about people like that who are comfortable being depressed. But I mean at that point, are you really depressed. I mean if you're use to being sad, then are you really sad? Surely you've expanded you're threshold if you can live with yourself comfortably. In the end then it is possible to expand your threshold, it's just that I think some people were dealt a bad hand at life, but with time you become use to it. And when you leave that situation you probably will emerge as a stronger person.
I've been there. Heck, I'm still there, but I'm slowing trying to change my thought patterns. What I define as happiness is really not asking a whole lot out of life. I'll be damned if I don't find it one day. You'll do the same. Just start to reverse those thought patterns and surround yourself with real friends, even if that means only having 1 or 2 friends.
That sucks, especially if you have a small circle of friends, as I do. Good friends are hard to find, regardless of how big or small your inner circle is though. If you can make contact again, maybe you can try to reconnect. I don't know your situation. But at the same time, you can become close friends with someone unexpectedly. Maybe you have a true friend in that group that seems to only be good for jokes. You never know.
While I still lived at home with my family, it was a ratio of: 20% liking life, 20% ambivalence, and 60% horrible. I was waiting to leave.
Once I moved out at 18 years old, it changed to: 80% liking life, 10% ambivalence, and 10% bad times. That high lasted for a few years.
By my mid twenties and on, it evened out more to: 60% liking life, 20% meh, and 20% bad times. It was a nice balance.
However, there have been a couple of years over the past decade when I've hit low points and the ratio was more like: 20% okay and 80% bad. It happens.
Life is just not a static experience of liking or not liking it - it's all over the place and you've just got to roll with it.
I've had a few moments, a few years back, when I just wanted a way out and thought a noose would be it. But honestly, life is just... beautiful. I mean it isn't always that way but god there are so many things that I want to experience in this world that I would hate myself for if I never did. I mean don't get me wrong I'm in sort of a stagnant point in my life since I go to community college and I'm kinda just waiting till my life can actually begin. But until then I'll still have fun, I'll try and hope for a better tomorrow, or at least a tomorrow where I can be surprised.
Like I said though not all of life is beautiful, some parts of it are terrible.But if you have a two sided coin and always look at it face up then you'll only see one image. One part of a whole. You'll be missing the entire picture that way, all because of your refusal to try and look at something from more than one perspective. Essentially, what I'm saying is that you can't take life for granted, you shouldn't just give up because you're stuck in a bad place. Appreciate the little things more often and just take the good with the bad.
Good times or bad life sure beats the alternative!
If you don't like your life; CHANGE IT. What do you have to lose at this point? Seriously! You can always check out, but at least make an effort to find a better one, first. Again; what have you got to loose ???????
Sometimes I think life is pointless and boring, to the point where I feel like it's just overrated and I don't want to live through it anymore. I've struggled with depression since I was around 12, but even with all of that sadness, depression and hate towards life, I still can find little things that keep me going. Life IS beautiful. Don't let your mind take control and tell you it's not.
No matter how much you have been torn down, how often things are against you, how badly the dice have fallen, one thing remains; you are important in the act of making it better. In fact, you are the most important person in the act of making your life better.
You can't change the past or the present. Those are things you will have to find a way to live with. The future is up for grabs, though. Even if you mess up, it immediately becomes the past or present, and you've got another future to go at. With that certain frame of mind, it's almost impossible to fail.
How depressing. With that attitude, you may never find peace with yourself. I have had some pretty bad moments but even with them, I never disliked life. It never occurred to me that disliking it was an option. It's life. You deal and move on. The true way to happiness isn't in the counting of bad versus good times and weighing them against each other. And you should never quantify it. That only sets you up for more depression.
To achieve happiness, you need to suck it up and learn how to move past those bad moments without letting them hold you back from life. Truly happy people are not free from suffering, they just found the strength to move on.
I stand by my comment. To be happy, you need to learn how to move past those difficult moments. (remember them, honor them, own them, let go of them.) The commonality of happy people is their ability to overcome the pain of circumstance.
And I never said it was simple.
And I prefer moccasins.