What would you do if you were my parent ?
Not really sure where to start with this but here goes. Basically I'm 23, I've never had a boyfriend and I suck at socialising, always have from school and college, I can't make friends. It's hard for me I'm so alone and I envy other people's lives when I see people I went to school with on Facebook with kids and even married. Yet I'm too scared to take the plunge. I don't get out much and I know my parents worry about me, sure I have a couple of friends here and there that I'm comfortable around but they have their own lives. I've tried group activities but my nerves get the better of me, I've always been quiet I'm better than I was but worse in some ways. I'm always wondering what people are thinking of me, I'm scared to make eye contact, talk, laugh.
It's a strange feeling, I worry before a social event, I could make friends but i don't know how because I don't open my mouth unless someone asks me something,
But sometimes I'm fine. My mum keeps mentioning a partner so I told her how hard it is for me, always worrying, and the fact I can't stop. Anyway I'm going to see a doctor on Tuesday but thinking about it now I feel stupid and maybe they won't be able to help me. Maybe they'll tell me to get over it like my mum does....
I wish I had more friends, and could talk and didn't get so nervous. Idk how anyone can fix me.
Hard to explain on this.. but I have tried my self to fix me but nothing works, I'm inside my head all the time and it's diving me batty. Everytime I see a boy I'm thinking 'is it him I'll end up with, what do I need to do' etc etc 'what is she thinking about me' etc etc.
My mum has a right to worry and she's always asking about boys, yes I have an interest but my mind is consumed by other thoughts, I'm to nervous to talk to anyone. And when she said dad won't hand the business over unless I have a family (which I do want) my mind went into overdrive it was awful. So I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by seeing a doctor I just feel daft.
So I don't know what to do, maybe I'll always be this way.