You know what guys really hate, OP. People who aggressively over analyze everything that they do, creating subtext and unnecessary drama where there is none. You've entered passive aggressive and manipulative territory, not texting him back just to communicate something indirectly.
Here's a novel idea. Why don't you just talk to him? If you have an unfulfilled need in a relationship, you should probably communicate it to your partner; if you let him know that it's important to you, and he still doesn't giveva fuck, then and only then do you have the right to be upset. Once you start openly communicating instead of playing asinine mind games, relationships become a lot less like rocket science.
I have avoided these games this whole time until now because like you said, he doesn't give a flying eff. But part of why he feels so confident about not changing this habit is because I was always still available to him so he knew he didn't have to change a thing. And its time to shock him, and make him realize he is not running all over me. Why do I even bother with him? Because the positives outweigh the negatives but its just who he is as a guy and a person, he can come off as insensitive, heartless, short-tempered, like f*ck just please have some sympathy for me or at least appreciation that I still am around for you for once.
Well, him not caring is problematic. Do you really want to be with someone who won't make any attempt to comfort you when you have obvious needs.
What you are doing is unhealthy; trying to indirectly communicate, to manipulate by showing him up.
Listen, everyone has moments of insecurity and irrationality in relationships. I have never had a problem admitting to my partner when I feel that way, and telling him exactly what I need...and I tend to get it, because he actually cares.
If your boyfriend has no interest in changing his behavior, you won't be able to manipulate him into doing it. It's much easier to change boyfriends than it is to change boys, end of. Your passive aggressive behavior will only lead to resentment from both of you.
If the good outweighed the bad, if you were actually secure in your relationship, I doubt you would be posting rants here. Over 5 paragraphs means it's time to break up.
The truth! Honesty goes a long way, assuming he cares. However, ideally you shouldn't text it.
Text is a very poor form of communication; you miss a lot in terms of tone of voice, facial expression, etc etc...it makes it very hard to gauge someone's reaction, and I get the feeling that you already have a bad habit of reading into what he says. You should speak to him in person.
In my experience, long distance relationships need more than that to survive. Do you call him? Even webcamming on Skype regularly would be better, since you at least have face-to-face interaction.
L/D relationships are always challenging, and it's very easy for one or both of you to grow apart. You both have to be really dedicated to making it work.
Ugh if you're long distance and you just text and snapchat and never actually interacted with him in person. Then he is most likely kicking you to the curb and talking to other girls. His little excuse "I'm stressed" but I could be wrong I mean If I was a guy and I really liked a girl I would try to do some crap to get with the girl.
What should I text him back?
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You know what guys really hate, OP. People who aggressively over analyze everything that they do, creating subtext and unnecessary drama where there is none. You've entered passive aggressive and manipulative territory, not texting him back just to communicate something indirectly.
Here's a novel idea. Why don't you just talk to him? If you have an unfulfilled need in a relationship, you should probably communicate it to your partner; if you let him know that it's important to you, and he still doesn't giveva fuck, then and only then do you have the right to be upset. Once you start openly communicating instead of playing asinine mind games, relationships become a lot less like rocket science.
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Anonymous Post Author
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I have avoided these games this whole time until now because like you said, he doesn't give a flying eff. But part of why he feels so confident about not changing this habit is because I was always still available to him so he knew he didn't have to change a thing. And its time to shock him, and make him realize he is not running all over me. Why do I even bother with him? Because the positives outweigh the negatives but its just who he is as a guy and a person, he can come off as insensitive, heartless, short-tempered, like f*ck just please have some sympathy for me or at least appreciation that I still am around for you for once.
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CountessDouche
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Well, him not caring is problematic. Do you really want to be with someone who won't make any attempt to comfort you when you have obvious needs.
What you are doing is unhealthy; trying to indirectly communicate, to manipulate by showing him up.
Listen, everyone has moments of insecurity and irrationality in relationships. I have never had a problem admitting to my partner when I feel that way, and telling him exactly what I need...and I tend to get it, because he actually cares.
If your boyfriend has no interest in changing his behavior, you won't be able to manipulate him into doing it. It's much easier to change boyfriends than it is to change boys, end of. Your passive aggressive behavior will only lead to resentment from both of you.
If the good outweighed the bad, if you were actually secure in your relationship, I doubt you would be posting rants here. Over 5 paragraphs means it's time to break up.
Oath.
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Sooo what should I text him? I do plan to respond to him but I want it to be something beneficial.
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CountessDouche
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The truth! Honesty goes a long way, assuming he cares. However, ideally you shouldn't text it.
Text is a very poor form of communication; you miss a lot in terms of tone of voice, facial expression, etc etc...it makes it very hard to gauge someone's reaction, and I get the feeling that you already have a bad habit of reading into what he says. You should speak to him in person.
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I'm geeking out a bit here on all this sound advice you gave her.
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CountessDouche
8 years ago
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;)
Unfortunately, we're long distance but in the same state so it has to be text or snapchat since we snapchat the most.
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disthing
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In my experience, long distance relationships need more than that to survive. Do you call him? Even webcamming on Skype regularly would be better, since you at least have face-to-face interaction.
L/D relationships are always challenging, and it's very easy for one or both of you to grow apart. You both have to be really dedicated to making it work.
Ugh if you're long distance and you just text and snapchat and never actually interacted with him in person. Then he is most likely kicking you to the curb and talking to other girls. His little excuse "I'm stressed" but I could be wrong I mean If I was a guy and I really liked a girl I would try to do some crap to get with the girl.