What should i do in this situation?

9 Comments

I became good friends with this girl I met online almost two years ago now, and she’s had issues with depression and attempted suicide and hospital stays, and the last time we talked to each other was October. From messaging some of her friends on instagram I found out she was in a hospital again, and no one knows for how long she’ll be. I’ve sent her messages for when she comes back, and it’s been pointed out to me that she’d talk to her family members and close friends before online friends like myself, but I still miss her a lot. Even when she didn’t understand me she was always someone I knew I could trust. It’s hard to explain this kind of friendship, especially since some cautious people might think this is someone pretending (although I’ve seen lots of pictures and videos of her that points in the direction of that Being wrong) but I digress. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve waited for her with things like this but this is the longest wait for me yet. I don’t think there’s really anything I can do externally to help her, but perhaps someone can give me advice to help myself first so I won’t go crazy over worrying about this things I have no control over. Any and all help is appreciated, thanks in advance.

UPDATE: She’s back!

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Comments ( 9 )
  • paramore93
    6 years ago

    With mental health it can be difficult to talk to friends about how you really feel and alot of people do become isolated.
    She'll talk to you when she's ready, maybe just let her know that you are there for her if she does want to talk.
    Don't get yourself too stressed out worrying, she's there to get better and to focus on herself for a bit. That doesn't mean she's forgotten you or anything, just needs a bit of space to heal.
    Out of curiosity though, doesn't she have a phone? Getting messages from friends is what stopped me going over the edge in hospital ..

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    • nikkiclaire
      6 years ago

      Spot on!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Yes, that’s how I primarily contacted her, through text messaging.

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      • paramore93
        6 years ago

        I don't know where you are but some hospitals limit your time or even stop you using mobiles altogether ..
        Either way yeah just have to giver her time :)

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  • CDmale4fem
    6 years ago

    I have been in a similar situation years ago. What I would do to start with us at least they friends or family or whoever try and find what hospital and maybe a room #. Or maybe if any communication between her parents and you or her friends on Instagram someone that would either forward to her if you send a card or letter of flowers. Just to show support and that you are thinking of her. Pretty much that's about all. If you know the city or town you could always call them all and try to locate her. That would be very time consuming. I'm the end it could be worth it. She probably would like a good friend, nonjudgmental, to just vent to. Don't ask her a lot of questions, just let her know that you are there because you support her, you miss her and it's lonely at the computer without her at the other end.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      That may be weird after all this time has passed, but I thank you for your input

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      • CDmale4fem
        6 years ago

        At this point you don't know if she's in mental hospital or a general hospital. I would just try and reach out to family, explain to them you are a friend from online and you are concerned that she is doing ok. Be straight up and honest, let them have your contact information so that if they want to check you out if they feel the need.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    how would you feel if she was dead now? would you replace her?

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    I was recently in hospital for similar reasons. I was allowed to use my phone after the first few days, but was kept fairly busy and usually only had about two hours, in the morning and evening, where I was free.

    If she has her phone, she has read your texts. I would continue to send some "thinking of you" type messages. Nothing heavy. She may be getting medication trials that screw her up or having a difficult time. It's hard to say. Don't worry that too much time has past. Just mention your current feelings.

    But hang in there. It will be worth it. Just don't go overboard and be sure to respect her wishes and whatever boundaries she may have. She is in a difficult spot right now.

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