What should i do about my brother

I'd not give him another 6 months. He's using you.

I'd give him 1 or perhaps 2 months to start paying his fair share of your apartment and food cost, and by another month to show he has established a savings account to save money for a car (or give you money that you can put into a savings account for him - if he needs to keep that account private for various reasons).

He can likely sell plasma, or do all kinds of odd (but often not pleasant jobs) to bring in some money. Is he on Unemployment or other government assistance? He can surely come up with some money somehow - and do it legally too.

While we should practice charity. There is a difference between helping someone who cannot help themselves, and supporting a bum who won't get off their butt as long as someone will provide for them. The latter is not charity - it's being used.

I'm sure that you can find another person who will really appreciate your generosity and use it to step up in life. It warms the heart so when you do that.

Kick the bum out unless he wants to start paying 500$ a month & buy his own food.

That is super reasonable of you. He’s lucky for everything you’ve already done.

Talk to him about it. Tell him he has to pay his part of the rent. If he can't afford to, well... There's probably some solution. Sit down with him and discuss it. Send him to your mom otherwise. You're not his mother so it's not your responsibility really, not that it's hers either since he's an adult but it's more hers than yours and maybe she can get through to him in case you can't.

People who always try to please others and hate to upset them always end up being used. Selfish, manipulative, narcissistic people always get annoyed when someone they've been exploiting tells them they've given as much as they're willing to give, since that means the parasite faces the inconvenience of trying to find someone else to leech off.

Women are often raised to believe that their main goal in life should be to make others happy. While it's good to be kind, considerate and helpful, it's unfortunately not uncommon for parents, siblings and other family members to take advantage of this.

Your primary responsibility is to your daughter. Your next responsibility is to yourself. How you arrange your priorities with regard to other members of your family depends on their situation, but if your brother is an adult, mentally and physically healthy, and has an income, he should be standing on his own two feet. All the money you've spent on supporting him over the last six months is money that you should have been able to spend on your daughter and yourself.

Your suggestion that you give your brother six months is about you kicking the can down the road and avoiding confrontation. Given what you say about him, I suspect it's virtually certain that the deadline will come, nothing much will have changed, he'll plead for more time and your mother will pressure you to be a 'good sister'.

You know how much you spend on bills for your accommodation and food, and it shouldn't be that difficult to figure out what proportion of that his fair share. Tell him how much you expect him to pay. Also tell him that, since he seems to be not giving much attention to his car-buying plan, you want to see a bank statement (or a pile of cash, or whatever) every month on a date you specify which proves that he's moving closer to this goal he supposedly has.

If you've ever watched some documentary programme where people in the tropics wade in water and get covered in leeches, you'll know that the disgusting things squirm and thrash when they're plucked off of their victim. Your brother will most likely react in a similar way. That says a lot about him, and nothing negative about you.

If your mother is upset by you behaving like a responsible adult and parent, that will say a lot about her, too. And if she's so damned concerned about your brother's well-being, she should be willing to let him return home and resume leeching off her.

He should buy his own shit!

Your brother sounds like a burden. Just because he's your brother, doesn't mean you're obligated to take care of him.

You're going to have to tell him the truth and boot him out. There's really no way to go about this without several feelings getting hurt. When you do, he might even give a sob story about mental issues, the job market being bad, his credit, or whatever else he can come up with as a lame excuse. You need to ignore every little guilt trip he or anyone else tries and get him out. Your first priority should be your daughter. THAT'S where your money should be going.

most the above comments reflect what i would suggest.
there is no doubt that he is starting and has been taking advantange of your good will. just because he is your brother doesnt mean you are responsible f
or him. "you are not your brothers keeper"
talk to him about this too him. make it VERY clear that either he has got to contribute more or he has got to find some where elseto live. show him the bills, explain that they are higher because of him. and you can not afford the bills. charge him rent , 50 $ a week or so. if he give him a week to start giving you some assistance . then become more firm . if he still does not try , start eviction process.

If i was a girl and some grown ass man was living in my room id be fucking terrified. KICK HIM OUT

You've got to be firm but fair with him. I would sit him down, maybe even with your mum there, and work out something he has to stick to in order to be gone in a certain amount of time.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, and it's come about from a nice place on your part, but this is partially your fault. You've spoilt him. People very often push what they can, and they shouldn't, and it's because you're a nice guy that he's been able to take advantage of the situation, but now he's probably used to it.

Kind of like if you spoil a child then you can't expect them to reform straight away. Sit down (preferably with your mother there so he knows it's serious) and come up with something he has to stick to in order to be out of your place in however long you guys decide.

Another 6 months? Fuck that. Tell him he has until the end of the month to sort his shit out, as that's when you will be changing the locks.

Stop worrying about your brother and focus on your kid. And next time your mum suggests that you brother move in with you, ask her why he can't live with her. She's pushing the responsibility onto you because she doesn't want him in her own house. Think about that...

These stories are constant. There is always an adult sibling that doesn't have his/her shit together and needs a place to indefinitely stay for a short time... It puts a strain on the relationship with the partner of the sibling and or in this case the kids.

Usually he/she is an addict and repeats self destructive behavior, but perhaps in this case he is just hard up and needing a place because of Covid.

If he has a constant need for help, you should focus on your family and their needs, and send the troubled sibling on their way with good blessings, before he brings down an otherwise healthy family dynamic.

If he is uniquely in a bad situation, accommodate and make due, but still set boundaries as for how long he can stay, and remain steadfast to maintain your family dynamics.

Your mom needs to mind her own business, and if she wants someone to help your brother then she should help him. This isn't your job, it's not your responsibility.

kick his ass out on the curve

6 months! Are you mad! I’d give him 6 days. Your mum has mugged you off send him back to her to live with, she’s the parent not you.

That is not normal. If he loved you and your daughter he would've gotten back on his feet a long time ago. I also agree with Olderdude-xx because they are right you are being used. Please just move him out for you and your daughter. He doesn't deserve you. You aren't being mean. Right now you are doing what any kind sister would do for their sibling. But that doesn't mean you should be spoiling him. Right now you should be putting you and your daughter first before anyone else, especially a bum like him. You must be very tired/exhausted I really hope things turn out awesome for you in the end. (if you kick him out they probably will)but just because he's part of your family doesn't mean you should be too nice to him to the point where he doesn't even do anything good really. This is just toxic. You gave him kindness and generosity and there's your answer. He is treating you like this. I don't think you should worry at all about whether you hurt his feelings or not. Yes, it will be sad once you've kicked him out but you'll be free. Free of his bullshit. That's just F'd up he'd do something like that.