What should a husband do if he faces the following dilemma?

10 Comments

Me and my wife are 27 years old. We have been discussing whether to give birth to a baby or not. My wife has been bringing up this topic for the past few weeks. We are financially sound enough to take care of a child. However, I just don't want my wife to go through the tough period of pregnancy and the infinite pain of childbirth. I just can't bear to think about seeing my loved one in so much pain. Her career will also be derailed due to all this. I said this to her, she said that she will handle it, but the fear was evident in her voice and her eyes. I suggested adopting a child. She doesn't like that idea so much.

I find it extremely selfish on my part to let my wife go through such physical pain and career setbacks for giving birth to a child, while I just sit back and watch. Please tell me your opinions.

Edit: In the end, I will always respect her decision, and be with her through all that.

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    I feel the same way. Periods are painful enough, I could only imagine months of pregnancy:( I know its normal but I don't like any woman in pain

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • BlackCatsAreAwesome
    6 years ago

    "I find it extremely selfish on my part to let my wife go through such physical pain and career setbacks for giving birth to a child, while I just sit back and watch. Please tell me your opinions. "

    You've been brainwashed by feminazism.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • nikkiclaire
      6 years ago

      Thank you, I thought I was a bitch for thinking this guy is a pussy. Where are the real men. This is why I prefer women.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Anonymous Post Author
        6 years ago

        How do you think a real man should be? If being a real man means being completely insensitive to the pain of childbirth, then I am really proud of not being a "real man" in your terms!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • nikkiclaire
          6 years ago

          Real men respect women and you, unfortunately have none for your wife. You seem to think she's incapable of handling childbirth, one of the most natural things in the world. You've also deluded yourself into thinking this makes you a sensitive man.

          Real men live in the real world and deal with life on lifes terms. They dont act like whimps and cry about a little pain.

          Unfortunately, my generation has created a lot of people like you who can't handle life. No its not normal to be such a whimp.

          Look up the phrase "man up" and stop being a sissified coward and show some respect for your wife. Real men have ACTUAL respect.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      No, I haven't been brainwashed. I am against man-hating.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • KiwiWisdom
    6 years ago

    Nobody said you have to sit back and watch. Hi there, I have been in your shoes in a less stable situation and everything is completely fine. I love my children and have another on the way. Your wife wants this or she wouldn't be asking. It's okay to be a little freaked out and not enjoy the painful parts of pregnancy and maternity. Those are all the negatives though. There's a lot you can do to help comfort, assist and be generally reassuring about something that is scary and is much easier with team effort. There's a lot that's positive that comes with children too, but you have to be willing and flexible. Children are a major life changer, so if you're not ready don't do it. Don't not do it either though if you're prepared. Your wife wants it, she's aware of the pain and the career hit, so if you are too then go for it. It sounds like the ball is in your court.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • TheShyGirlFromWork
    6 years ago

    OKAY... you dumbass. You do know that childbirth is NOT infinite... it is FINITE, which means it only lasts for a short length of time (just until the baby is born), and then the pain stops. BUT, then again, there is anesthesia, therefore, no pain. What-the-Fuck?

    AND... if you're worried about her career, then WHY THE FUCK would you adopt? You obviously haven't thought about this enough, because your entire 'question' makes very little sense. SHE is a big girl, and SHE can handle a child AND a career... Just like you are a big boy, and YOU will also have a SHARED responsibility with this child... SO, YOUR CAREER will also be effected. HER career won't be "derailed" IF YOU step-up and share the parental responsibilities! Dumbass!

    Guys like you really piss me off. AND, you probably don't deserve your wife. Since childbirth can be induced, then your wife can continue working until a day before the doctor induces labor, AND YOU and your wife can take off from work the first couple of weeks after the baby is born... AND Both you and your wife can return to your respective careers, and have a SHARED responsibility in raising your kid. Having kids is a shared decision, AND a share responsibility for the rest of your life. WHAT-THE-FUCK, Dumbass?!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • torilillll
    6 years ago

    I would really suggest adopting and tell her there's a lot of kids out there who need homes. Ask her to at least look it up. But if she's insistent that she won't mind the pain to have her own child, then it will be worth it for both of you in the end.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • NashamaTheWeird
    6 years ago

    It is her choice whether to go through pregnancy, childhood, and raising a child. If she wants to, don't be worried about hurting her. Women are not delicate, we are tough, and most of us continue to choose motherhood because it can be as rewarding as it is challenging. That said, it is definitely something you should discuss first and not take lightly, especially if you think she seemed afraid. The implications motherhood would have for her career (which would still be mostly the same if she adopted as if she gave birth) are especially important to talk about. Many women have difficulties reentering the work force, and how much of her career she is willing to sacrifice should be something for her to think about ahead of time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0