What's the quickest way to squeeze $hit from your butt? i'm stopped up

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Poop like an Indian. You have to squat on the toilet, feet on the seat. Enjoy.

I'm on the toilet right now, $hitting like a rabid dog. What a relief! Thanks guys for your support

Ask a male friend to put his penis up your butt. It will get your feces flowing. Trust me.

HOT college chiquita's can sit their bald cunts and ass cracks and spread their assholes wide open on my face when they are ragging and bleed , cum , piss , fart , shit on my face and down my throat while they are sucking my dirty cock and dirty nuts when they come out of her dirty asshole.
They can sit on a chair with the middle missing and I will be underneath it and they can let Mother nature take it's course.
They can squat on my chest and shit on me and spread it all over my belly and chest with her ass cheeks and then I will wipe her ass cheeks , ass crack , asshole squeaky clean with my tongue.
I am looking for someone that ejoys crazy , freaky , nasty , dirty , disgusting erotic fetishes , such as two that everday people would not think about , such as bathroom fun and bodily functions and whatever else you can think of , if you catch my drift.
I am flexible in my likings.

The best way to get it out is by sticking a hose up your butt and turning on the water. Once the water breaks through, things will start flowing out. Just make sure.it is a regular hose, not a fireman's hose.

Consume fiber and use a squatty potty.
http://www.squattypotty.com/

Drink a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette.

Establecer en la calle y tener una carrera de coches por encima de su vientre. Garantizado , mierda por todas partes.

Trolls shit?

Lay down in the street and have a car run over your belly. Guarantied, shit everywhere.

Suppository. Takes like 1min for the baby I have to give them to. Assuming youre an adult, you can presumably use them without direction from a doctor.

Laxative maybe?