What's love and who to be with: need help

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago | pl

    You are walking down a miserable path, and you will justify every step you take.

    I don't think you have the self-awareness needed to change course, but in case you do: you are responsible for your own happiness. You actively have to work at it, otherwise you'll hate yourself.

    You need to stop getting your validation from others and start building it within yourself.

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    • CuriousHuman
      6 years ago | pl

      Yes, this is my problem - I try to analyse and justify everything in my life. I have grown aware that quite often I can come up with wrong justifications, so it looks like I'm lying to myself and others. I need to stop it somehow.

      I guess you are right that I lack self-awareness and thus I don't pursue my happiness. I have decided to undergo a behavioral psychotherapy in hope that I will change in this aspect.

      And I agree with that I quite dependent on validation from other people. This is also something I should work on.

      Thank you for your comment. It is helpful.

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      • bubsy
        6 years ago | pl

        One aspect I didn't mention was the physical one: your body controls your mind, not the other way around. Imagine how a cup of coffee makes you feel, and stretch that over years: that's hormones. They control our very perceptions.

        I would recommend seeing a doctor and getting bloodwork done and your estrogen checked. Also, the pill and SSRIs (antidepressants) make a cocktail that's hell for the reasoning part of your brain.

        It's one of the reasons why married women with a lot of kids are more mentally stable than the cat lady types.

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