What matters and what doesn't in life?

21 Comments

I have learned that if the only person something matters to is you, well then it doesn't really matter at all. If you got a divorce and your ex-wife doesn't care and doesn't even tell her new boyfriends she was even married it's literally like it never even happened. Especially if no one believes you.

If I know this person that used to be a player and an obnoxious doushebag but they have a new girlfriend and are sweet and loving to her so it's like who they were and who they hurt all didn't exist. No one even cares. Just me.

If I have been friends with someone since we were kids, and I know all of their dirty little details and I know everything they've done and been though but they couldn't give a flying fuck, they don't want that connection with me anymore for some reason does everything we've been though not matter?

If you love someone, and you let them know it and they don't care that you love them does it matter? Does your love, your feelings, fuck does that part of you amount to anything?

If you were best friends with someone for years, and you went though so many experiences and shared so many happy memories with them but something horrible happens and you guys aren't friends anymore and they hate you and want nothing to do with you and basically block out all of those years with you DID ANY OF THAT FUCKING MATTER? Was that happiness meant to mean nothing? Are my feelings basically imaginary?

It seems like there is nothing you can do that people can't throw away. There is nothing you can do that can stop them from disowning you one day! The past is the past. Is this really true? Since it's the past it's forgotten, right? I just feel like there is nothing I can do to matter to someone. If they want to they can make it as if I never existed in their mind. What is there to life for? I never was, and there is nothing I can ever be.

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  • dappled
    12 years ago | pl

    You're right. There is nothing you can do in life which can't be undone by others. The wonderful can be lost by another's anger, ignorance, intolerance, jealousy, greed or pettiness. There isn't a solution apart from to try to be a good person. You can't do anything about others but you can do something about yourself. If everyone just tried...

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  • Rhuarc
    12 years ago | pl

    nothing matters in life. Remember when you die this world and all that you have done is gone so don't worry about things that don't matter. It will cause you only more pain and suffering

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  • dwe
    11 years ago | pl

    Most likely a billion years from now the living human race and all its achievements will be dust. The new sentient race on the planet (if there is one) may be having these same conversations on a new type of IIN. Perhaps a few fossils will exist to suggest our species existed in their museum (if they have one), but that's about it. I say enjoy your life to the fullest, do the best you can for your families, friends, and others, and don't burden yourself with posterity.

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  • MizzRiley
    11 years ago | pl

    tl;dr and umm my ipod matters my computer matters and ummmmmmmmm my hair matters

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  • silentserenity
    11 years ago | pl

    If I cut a big loud stinky fart and nobody hears it and smells it but me, and then the fart smell eventually goes away into thin air -- did that fart ever matter?

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  • pooItoy
    12 years ago | pl

    everything matters. every action changes everything.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    Everything that each one of us went through matters.It is just a matter of how we deal with it.One thing though,we cannot dictate a person to do or feel the same as we do.We are individuals with individual reactions,different environment and family backgrounds,etc..

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago | pl

    The past matters. The past is what makes you and helps you grow. You learn from the experiences you had in the past. Both good ones and bad ones.

    And I understand how you feel, but I highly doubt they have forgotten completely about you. You may see them smiling and laughing now without you, but that doesn't mean they don't remember you. The feelings might not be the same, but the memories are there. And I'm sure there's many people who remember you today, and I'm sure many that get left behind will remember you in the future. Heck, I feel like I remember everyone I've met in my life. Even those that I hardly knew who were just acquaintances passing through.

    Besides, the past does matter, but don't worry about the people who didn't bother staying. There probably was a reason that they didn't stay. Thats why you have to hold close to the ones who actually bothered staying. Either that, or you leave before they do. haha!

    But honestly, I think there's a reason why we meet the people we meet, even if they're just people passing in and quickly out of our lives. There is always a reason. And I always thought it was kinda weird how you can go such a long time not thinking about someone, and then randomly be lying awake at night and there face just pops into your mind.

    We're human beings, we can move forward in our lives, and we can't go backwards, but we still can look back. And we will. We do. Everyone looks back, and if they say they don't, its a lie. We all look back. We all remember people. We just don't mention it out loud all the time. And we move forward, not really because we want to, because it can be hard to move forward. But we're kinda forced to.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    I believe the way we live our life in this present day and age gives us a very small meaning as a race. We live for money and money causes greed and greed causes hate and hate goes further and further, it's not much to be proud of so I don't think I want the things in our way of living to matter.

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    • joybird
      12 years ago | pl

      We don't all live for money! I try to live with very few 'things' so don't need money to buy 'stuff' coz I don't crave anything. I have to say that I don't understand the greed for money. Surely there's only so much we all need?

      I would like to think that when I die I would be remembered as someone who never deliberately did anyone any harm and that it was always beneficial for people to know me.

      I think the OP just needs to realise that life doesn't stand still and everyone moves on to a different phase of their life.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago | pl

        You are either the type of person that craves money or the type of person that is at the mercy of those that crave money, or both.

        It's an undeniable fact that you need money to survive in this modern world.
        Just because someone lowers the ammount they spend and earn does not mean they depend on it any less than those that do not do those things.

        Those that are remembered are the strong, the rich, the famous, the royalty and the conquerors. Everyone else is only remembered by relatives and friends but when those relatives and friends die, so does the memory of you.

        The memory of ourselfs may live longer than our actual beings but not even a memory is ever lasting.

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        • joybird
          12 years ago | pl

          I know you're a bit of a clown but how on earth can you come to the conclusion that I either crave money or am at the mercy of people who do?

          I DO NOT crave money! Why would I? I don't even do the lottery! I'd a discussion with my husband recently as to what we would do if we suddenly came into a fortune... we couldn't come up with anything, except buy our dog a new collar as it's a bit worn.

          Nor am I some sort of victim that gets fleeced by greedy people who clean me out. Admittedly, I give money to other people who need it more than me - but I'm no fool. I just don't need a lot to live on. I own everything outright coz I worked my guts out when I was young so I wouldn't have to when I was older.

          Surely money is only valuable for what you can buy / do with it? I want to buy / do nothing - as long as I can buy food and pay my bills, then I have enough to do me, thanks.

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago | pl

            You call me a "clown" because you misunderstood my statement, moron. I ment "you" as in everyone and not you individually.

            Men with power and money made this society that you need money to eat and if you don't eat then you die so you work for money or you die, at the mercy of the rich and powerful.

            You do not crave money? How did you buy your home or how do you pay the rent? Does that money just magically appear or do you have to work for it?
            How do you pay for your food?

            You crave money because money is what keeps the species alive nowadays and you can try put yourself on a high horse and say "I don't crave money" but the fact that you have a computer when one isn't needed to live shows that you craved to have one and to have one you must have the money to get one so you craved the money for it.

            "I don't crave money I just work to get it so that I can survive"
            Doesn't make much sense does it? And you call me the clown.

            Like I said, just because you don't need alot of it does not mean you don't crave that small amount you do need.

            "Aslong as I can buy food and pay my bills then I have enough" Exactly, and how do you pay for those things? Money. Like I said in my little impression of you "I don't crave money, I just work so that I can get it to survive".

            You crave to be alive and to be alive in todays world you need to have money so you crave that money to survive.

            You completely prove yourself wrong in your own comment.

            You said "I DO NOT crave money!" and then later you say "Aslong as I can buy food and pay my bills, then I have enough to do me"

            You don't have to crave alot of money to crave money, something you obviously don't understand.

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            • joybird
              12 years ago | pl

              I think your literacy skills need some work and also that YOU may have used the wrong verb! Crave means to long for, desire greatly, want eagerly, etc. I think the verb you should've used it 'need', as people need a certain amount to live - agreed! But crave implies an ardent desire for money's sake.

              Actually, most of the 'things' that I have are given to me by family who insist I keep up with society. I was quite happy with my 14" portable TV that had 4 channels and no remote control until my sister insisted on getting me one with a remote. She's such a techie and I admit technology is useful but I don't CRAVE it either - I'm perfectly happy with or without it.

              You are a typical argumentative teenager with ill-thought out logic. Your attitudes and opinions will change as you mature but in the meantime I suggest you do what I did - and work your guts out so that when you get older (and tired) you can sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labour - with everything you NEED owned outright!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    It seems like you're looking for something meaningful that will be permanent, and you have to understand that NOTHING is permanent. Everything fades away- so all you can do in this life is enjoy it as it happens. I truly believe that there is no real purpose to life, we are NOT here for a reason, so just enjoy it to the fullest without hurting anybody, and hopefully, without hurting yourself.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    i think everything matters, for eg a friend who leaves you by the wayside, could be looked as an opportunity to meet new people who are more appreciative , let the friend change but you remain steadfast in your values, no one can undo the good, then watch the friends roll in

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    I'm not exactly sure; I'm still trying to find that out for myself, so far mostly unsuccesfully. In the meantime you should try listening to Anne Clark, I believe she has quite an insight into existential matters:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrI715zi5YQ
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGjovlteOO4

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  • SoccerStud88
    12 years ago | pl

    having lots and lots of sex

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