What kind of user are you?

I have now come to the conclusion that there are nine types of people who visit this site. They all fit broadly into these eight categories.

1: The hardcore. They have multiple alts & troll in varying styles depending on their current mood & if they have been taking their pills. This place is their life and has been for as long as they have lived in their parent's garage or basement.

2: The piss yankers. Either bored teenagers that almost immediately realise that they are way out of their depth once they realise that piss drinking, scat chat & being homosexual have zero shock value here. Or there is the adult who thinks they are honing their skills as they think they are stand up comedy material.

3: The angst ridden teenager. I'm not going to bother.

4: The well intentioned user. As the name suggests they start off well intentioned and on the whole they are. Sadly they succumb to the miasmic atmosphere that surrounds here and slip into trolling/baiting.

5: The occasional user. The occasional user visits far less than everyone else and does offer decent, honest advice but is shocked or frightened by the content offered by other users and vanishes. They pop back periodically in the vain hope that things have changed, They have not.

6: The person crying out for help. This poor soul stumbles across this place desperate for another human being to offer them advice, solace or even reassurance. Whether they do depends on which of the happy campers they bump into from the above list.

7: The Lurker. These people are creeps, but they stay in the shadows so the don't get banned.

8: Little kid who stumbles on this site and has its innocence and happiness destroyed by #1.

9: Guys posing as chicks who’ve sucked 1,000 dicks in one weekend, pulled a train of 29 guys in one session, and who promote drinking piss and gobbling cum. They make this their primary advice to 3, 4, 5, 6, & 8.

Choose one.

1. 5
2. 4
3. 2
4. 12
5. 13
6. 3
7. 4
8. 2
9. 3
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Comments ( 42 )
  • Alduin

    4a. A well intentioned user who doesn't have their dignity taken away by the consuming negativity surrounding this site and, as such, continues to give advice on topics they care about. These people may joke from time to time but their posts still reflect the nature of how they joined the site, a mature and, mostly, respective manner.

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    • 4a quickly becomes 5. No worries bloke, the miasmic stench will quickly overpower your benevolent intentions.

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      • Alduin

        Not me. Sure I'm not on this site frequently but I'd be a 5a, people who don't frequent this site often because they have better things to do/lack of fast technology which tries their patiencem

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    • 4a. is the kind of user I would say that I am.

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      • Eventually, you will learn to admire the art of douchebaggery.

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        • Alduin

          I mean I could admire the art of graphic designers, architects, comic artists, animators and musicians but not character traits of assholes.

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  • Shackleford96

    Out of your options, which suck ass by the way, number 5 probably comes the closest.

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    • I have always admired your enlightening intelligence, grace, and guarded good will. Question. How would you modify the list (which I blatantly plagiarized from another user), and which categories are absurdly off the mark?

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      • Pumpurrnickel

        Nothing is absurdly off the mark, but number 5 shouldn't be occasional. There are some users who are always active and fit number 5.

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  • Faceless

    10 chat. fuck the main site

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  • wigz

    5, but I'm not shocked or frightened, it's just annoying how shitty most of the content is. I quit making OP's long ago too because at least 90% of comments were just garbage. Oh, and I strongly suspected a couple times my post wasn't showing up on the site for anyone besides me so it pissed me off that I put in effort and made a coherent, thoughtful post only for it to be invisible while this other garbage is all over the front page.

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    • Hotdogsaregross

      Multiple times when I made a post I noticed it was invisible to others but after an hour or so it finally showed up in newest post section. It takes a while sometimes but my post always shows up eventually.

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  • Pussy_Destroyer_69

    1, 2 and a bit of 4. Trolling, if done right, it's one of the most satisfying things in life. And even then I have time to be well mannered and give good advice.

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    • McBean

      Excellent answer my friend. Trolling is an art mastered by only the finest of minds.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    I guess I'm number five now? I stopped being shocked/frightened of the stuff on here long ago. I used to be a very frequent user on here, talked to a lot of users that used to be here, and shared a lot on here that I couldn't share with people in real life. I did used to long for the old days, but now I've kind of moved on. I don't spend nearly as much time as I used to here.

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  • Cliche1234

    6. This site has potential to be an advice-seeking forum but shame it turns out and stay like this even after 3 years the day I joined this website.

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  • Nickvey

    you left out the gay guy looking for self reassurance of normality. nonstop pestering

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    • Pussy_Destroyer_69

      Yea, it takes one to recognise another. Right?

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  • nikkiclaire

    Missed a category. A REAL person ie. Not fake. 😗

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    • Pussy_Destroyer_69

      Shut up. We all know you are a robot.

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  • You forgot:
    9. Guys posing as chicks who’ve sucked 1,000 dicks in one weekend, pulled a train of 29 guys in one session, and who promote drinking piss and gobbling cum. They make this their primary advice to 3, 4, 5, 6, & 8.

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    • 'Yes, thank you. Fake women are a significant group here. Many of these guys are really poorly adapted old men that can't get laid. Although, most old men are 7s - lecherous creeps.

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      • Barbarella

        I find your comment to be offensive.

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  • lordofopinions

    I didnt vote because none of them fit me. The closest would be 4 but I have not degraded into a troll.

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    • Still too early too tell, but I've been watching you. You are showing early signs of #7. At this point you are still well intentioned.

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  • Alichael

    A crack user!! 😠 Just kidding 😂 I really am addicted to opiates though, I go to the methadone clinic.
    About this post for real though, I use this post mainly to get advice from random people about little things here and there on the quirks of everyday life. And I do that here because I don't care if I accidentally make myself sound stupid with people I will never meet in person. I also, as you can see, like making stupid jokes for cheap laughs. I do that with people in person too, most people laugh.

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  • lonewolf1253

    Weed mostly but I've done pretty much every drug they have a name for. Why do you ask?

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  • TheOneTrueStranger

    Seeing as I am relatively new... I guess I’ll find out which one I am soon. Honestly I think I’m close to 4a, though I do enjoy a good troll myself.

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  • randypete

    I'm hardcore.

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    • Too bad you're not also a 7. You would be a more complete person.

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  • Poopusher5000

    On smack no way out man. Is it normal. Lmfao

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  • Are you a drug user?

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  • Mark92

    4: The well intentioned user.

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  • I wouldn't say I'm either. Maybe some sort of variation of #5 but not.

    Try to be honest, try having a few jokes here and there without trolling, sometimes lurk, on occassion discuss topics, etc.

    If it were my early days I'd deffo be amongst the unflattering types of users.

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    • So you are saying that you are a well rounded user. A bit of a 2, 5, 7, with a touch of a 9.

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  • Hotdogsaregross

    I have not been on this site for a while but I came back tonight because I’m drunk and bored. This post is very familiar. I remember a post exactly like this a month or so ago.

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    • e51pegasi

      Yeah it's a verbatim copy of my post plus three new categories (7, 8 & 9). It was an answer to an op. The whole lot, the op & replies dissappeared after a couple of hours. How weird.

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      • Hotdogsaregross

        Oh I see. That is weird.

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        • e51pegasi

          Some days this place is like falling down the rabbit hole.

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          • You the rabbit, homie.

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  • McBean

    1. I'm hardcore.

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    • LGRAS, TGS, charli.m, and GB are four horsemen of corruption and exploitation at this site.

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