What is wrong with me?

89% Normal
17 Comments

I'm not good with people, I'm shy, quiet and get embarrassed easy. I don't have many friends and never went out much, over the years I've pushed myself and it's got easier but I still get nervous around a lot of people.
A couple of new friends have invited me to a pub at the weekend for a few drinks of course I want to go and get out, but I don't know the others who are going I've no idea how to make small talk or talk to people I don't know.
I'll be quiet and get embarrassed I find it hard to join in convo unless asked and then when they start talking about rude stuff it gets awkward. They all have boyfriends or partners and I've never had a boyfriend at 23! And what about all the people in the pub looking at me. Just so overwhelming.

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 27 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Murun
    6 years ago

    I've never been good at small talk but in a group of people you can usually find some common ground with some of them on a subject that interests you both.

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  • Knightmare
    6 years ago

    Hey. You sound a lot like I would if I was a woman. I'm a shy guy too, I'm scared of how people will think of me.

    Relax a little. You're not alone.

    I want to ask you if you have any close friends you can bring with. Or someone who understands that you're shy. If not, pick the person you're closest to and tell them that you're shy. It's ok to be shy, and your friend should help you out a little. Ask him to do what might help you, maybe you need to be able to talk with someone you already know? I don't know, but don't be afraid to ask.

    You can talk to me about this. I can relate, truly

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  • Dan13309
    6 years ago

    Just go and have fun don't worry about what other people think just enjoy yourself things will work out

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    Find "How to Win Friends and Influence People" online and read it. Basically, all you have to do is take a genuine interest in someone and they'll think you're a great conversationalist.

    If someone asks you if you've seen any good movies lately, you can bet that they have and want to tell you about it. Above everything else, people want to feel important. Let them.

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    • mrydan28
      6 years ago

      That is a good book, over 100 years old and still relevant. If the op is into reading and wanted something more modern, Brene Brown is.Good, for a more Machiavellian approach I enjoy Robert Greene.

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    • nikkiclaire
      6 years ago

      I agree, ask lots of questions. I get nervous because I hate small talk, for example I love to read but if someone asked me what I read or a favorite author I'd get nervous cause I don't pay attention to that stuff. Same with music, movies etc. I never remember titles, artists, actors etc. This makes me think people will think I am a fake or lying...hmmm imagine that.

      Anyway I overcome this by asking the questions of others first. It takes the pressure off and once someone starts talking about themselves they tend not to shut up for a bit or the conversation just flows.

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  • Ellenna
    6 years ago

    Why do you think everyone will be looking at you? Many, if not most of them will be as worried as you about what impression they're making.

    Be observant and you'll notice lots of other people either pretending to be confident or hanging back. Learn to listen rather than worrying about what to say. Take little steps and if things don't approve seek some professional counselling.

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  • radar
    6 years ago

    Nothing is wrong with you. Somewhere along the way someone gave you that idea, and that's why you feel this way.

    It's a personal thing that only you can really fix for yourself or learn to get over. Others can help but it only goes so far because it's about you learning to be confident in yourself and your judgement.

    So my only advice is to trust yourself and learn where your limits are, what helps and what doesn't.

    It's hard as hell but it builds something in you that people who have never dealt with it will never know.

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  • tearsforspheres
    6 years ago

    I want to flick you off

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  • farises
    6 years ago

    oh hi the other members! well im new here

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  • MargaButter
    6 years ago

    I have always had the same problem.I had social anxiety but as time went by,I started to notice that everyone's human and they are as shy and anxious as we are.

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  • EccentricWeird
    6 years ago

    If you're a girl, you don't have to be charming or interesting to have a boyfriend. If you're 23 and it hasn't happened, you're gonna have to come 'round to the fact that you may be ugly. Like, REALLY ugly. Cause even ugly chicks get around.

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    • McBean
      6 years ago

      Hey Andy. This is your kind of girl. Naive and looking for a kind guy to give her some validation. Don't say she's ugly. That will make her less comfortable with you. She needs lots and lots and lots of comfort before she will ever let you help her with her clothes.

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      • EccentricWeird
        6 years ago

        WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN.

        OWEN!!! THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!

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        • McBean
          6 years ago

          Dude. I'm a shapeshifter in case you didn't notice.

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  • justacatheter
    6 years ago

    my wife has social anxiety and agoraphobia never worked a job but does a great job as a house wife. i wish there was a group or others in the DFW area she could talk to, That has the same problems but don't give up she is getting better.

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  • Firepower18
    6 years ago

    I have social anxiety and agoraphobia.

    This sounds a lot like social anxiety and agoraphobia. To be sure you need to talk to a counselor or a doctor who might know for 100% sure.

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