I'm very strongly on the Personality (and Character) side; and dated a number of Ladies who were anything but pretty without a lot of cosmetic work and custom clothing (which can make almost anyone look at least somewhat hot); but were great people.
Then I met the Lady who happened to become my wife (who is in fact visually stunning - and I literally had family members jaws drop when they saw her). So I got both.
Yet, for some years she was not very happy that I told her that I married her for her brains and character 1st, and beauty a distant second.
Then it dawned on her. I was meeting a lot of other stunning looking younger ladies as part of what I normally did; and all the sudden she understood that I was not interested in most of those because they did not have the right mental personalities, abilities, and character. Also, that as she aged that she would not be able to visually compete with other younger Ladies.
Now she loves and appreciate that I married her for her brains and character... The other thing she said a year or so later after she realized that.... That most of the men who cheated only focused on looks and not brains and character (and of course she was long ago used to men hitting on her based only on her looks).
So if you are focused on looks... how are you going to adjust to a many year relationship that's long enough that looks change... Just keep moving on to younger beautiful woman... or stick it out with one with more meaningful long term qualities?
I note that of course my wife knows I look at beautiful Ladies (and she will point out ones that she thinks I will enjoy - she knows my preferences). Eye candy does not bother her at all...
She also knows that if I meet the right Lady with the right brains, character, and personality for a long term friend... that I will likely be interested in more as I'm poly in nature. She will approve me forming a full relationship with the right lady. I do have to ask her up front and she can provide feedback if she feels that the lady in question is not suitable. I'm very selective (one of the reasons my wife is OK with this), and I am only looking for very long term multi-year relationships like this (longest was 14 years, next longest 7 years; they all knew about the other in advance - and often met the other as well at least once).
What is more important in a partner? Beauty or personality
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I'm very strongly on the Personality (and Character) side; and dated a number of Ladies who were anything but pretty without a lot of cosmetic work and custom clothing (which can make almost anyone look at least somewhat hot); but were great people.
Then I met the Lady who happened to become my wife (who is in fact visually stunning - and I literally had family members jaws drop when they saw her). So I got both.
Yet, for some years she was not very happy that I told her that I married her for her brains and character 1st, and beauty a distant second.
Then it dawned on her. I was meeting a lot of other stunning looking younger ladies as part of what I normally did; and all the sudden she understood that I was not interested in most of those because they did not have the right mental personalities, abilities, and character. Also, that as she aged that she would not be able to visually compete with other younger Ladies.
Now she loves and appreciate that I married her for her brains and character... The other thing she said a year or so later after she realized that.... That most of the men who cheated only focused on looks and not brains and character (and of course she was long ago used to men hitting on her based only on her looks).
So if you are focused on looks... how are you going to adjust to a many year relationship that's long enough that looks change... Just keep moving on to younger beautiful woman... or stick it out with one with more meaningful long term qualities?
I note that of course my wife knows I look at beautiful Ladies (and she will point out ones that she thinks I will enjoy - she knows my preferences). Eye candy does not bother her at all...
She also knows that if I meet the right Lady with the right brains, character, and personality for a long term friend... that I will likely be interested in more as I'm poly in nature. She will approve me forming a full relationship with the right lady. I do have to ask her up front and she can provide feedback if she feels that the lady in question is not suitable. I'm very selective (one of the reasons my wife is OK with this), and I am only looking for very long term multi-year relationships like this (longest was 14 years, next longest 7 years; they all knew about the other in advance - and often met the other as well at least once).