What if a friend said 'friendship is emotional labour' to/about you?

^Someobe you think/thought of as a friend

I long to say this somewhere public enough for others to see and be seen... But a lot of the people I know have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (shudder)

Relieved 0
Rejected 0
Resentful 0
Hurt 2
Angry 0
Confused 1
Nothing 7
Amused 0
Sad 0
Reflective 2
A combination (Of what? Say below) 3
Shocked 0
Other 1
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Comments ( 14 )
  • pastafather

    Yeh, that happened 2 me, for sure.

    There was this old lady who moved into town here, across from dollar general. She opened some kinda store called "lie-berry."

    Idk what they sold there. Never saw a single town folk go in. Idk why that lady was trying to tell lies about berries. They aren't keto. Every1 knows.

    So I let pasta child throw a molotov cocktail thru the window. So she showed up at the trailer. My stupid fat wife let her in. And she was just hooting and screaming about lie berries.

    Oh my lie berries. Oh no. But then she started crying about books and stuff. Idk why. Probably crazy. Oh the books at the lie berry

    That's how I figured she could read. So put her down in the beet cellar out back. I figured we could be friends and she could type things for me on this website since my dad always said reading was 4 gays & never taught me. I bought her the best cat food they had at dollar general, but she still complains.

    Oh no! My lie berry. I just wanted to be a lie berrian. She's not a very good friend. Very selfish

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  • Chap

    Hurt and angry; maybe confused and reflective, but the first two first

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  • RoseIsabella

    https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-symptom-test/

    The above link is about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

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  • SkullsNRoses

    I voted “reflective”. If they said being friends with me felt like emotional labour I’d feel guilty, ask them for examples of how I overwhelm them and make a mental note to avoid doing that in future.

    It would obviously hurt a bit but I would rather they were honest about it rather than letting resentment build up until they lose it at me.

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  • mouldiwarp

    I’d be understanding, due to my ADHD I have rejection sensitive dysphoria to an extent, so I know what it’s like- it makes you think unreasonably, worrying for no reason. I try to be exact with my speech, so nothing is misunderstood, thus giving my friend less anxiety; first I would ask my friend why our friendship feels like emotional labor, and if they say it’s because of them and their RSD and not my fault, I will remind them that I’m never annoyed with them. I would ask if they can think of a way I could help reduce tension and communicate better in our relationship.

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  • Before anyone else asks, I'm autistic myself and need a lot of time and space alone.
    Most relationships outside.of work have people who are much more socially needy than I am.

    I'm still not entirely convinced RSD isn't something that's been given a name for clout so some neurodivergent people have a name and an excuse for bad behaviour.

    Cheers, William Dodson. Cheers a fucking bunch.

    Also a thanks and fuck you to Elizabeth Newson for not only validating Pathological Demand Avoidance, but pumping it in with autism and allowing those fuckers to co-opt the autism movement and claim to be part of the autism spectrum rather than a part of the personality disorder spectrum.
    Similar feelings for RSD.

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  • RoseIsabella

    I'm not trying to deal with friendships that are too much emotional labor, because I already get enough of that bullshit from my family.

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  • Contrivance

    Are you asking how we'd feel if a friend told us the friendship was emotional labor?
    Or we felt that about them?

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    • Both and either

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    • litelander8

      Agree

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      • Contrivance

        I disagree with your opinion unless you can provide a source

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        • litelander8

          🤷🏾‍♀️

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  • ellnell

    What are you even asking??

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  • RoyyRogers

    What does any of this mean?

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