What have you wiped with besides TP?

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  • I feel so abnormal as I only use toilet paper.

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    • Go get out there far away from proper restrooms and have yourself an adventure!

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      • Oh sacred leaves it shall be! Feel honored that I chooseth you!

        *Rips leaves of trees*

        *Tears down some bark*

        This shall be the perfect surface to go on. Nice and sturdy it is. Like nature"s platter to the treetops. May someone find it and think they have stumbled upon a ancient artifact. My waste shall be put in museums and made famous through word of tongue and the media. But when the time comes to claimeth thee, the media shan't believeth me. Scientists will want to take samples of my waste. But will that proveth anything? If it does the questions as too why I relieved myself in the forest, aimed it over a platter of bark and wiped with leaves will be brought up. Oh the horror of it all! This is why I must keep the truth behind the celebrity waste to myself. I must keep myself a secret. HAHAHA! I'll keep myself a secret until I unleash my dastardly plot upon the world. Those fools wouldn't see it coming!!!! They wouldn't see me!!!

        *Evil laughter*

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