What have you wiped with besides tp?

42 Comments

What have you used to wipe yourself with after using the toilet?

**BESIDES** toilet paper, moist wipes (baby wipes, flushable wipes), napkins and paper towels!!!!

Please vote and comment!!

sock 3
bath towel 6
hand towel 14
dishrag/kitchen towel 3
the rug (small rug, picked it up and used it) 1
the rug (large rug, dragged butt across floor) 3
Fuzzy toilet seat cover/toilet cozy 0
Doily 1
shower curtain 2
shirt 3
remote control 2
toothbrush 3
blanket 1
the cat/dog/chinchilla 7
couch cushion 0
cotton balls 2
q-Tips 0
pillowcase 0
curtains 0
purse/backpack/briefcase 0
taxidermied animal 3
plants/vegetation 9
the mail 1
maxi pad 11
coffee filter 1
magazine/newspaper 4
pillow 0
sponge 1
shoe 0
tortilla/bread 1
hat 1
bare hand 8
money 0
sweater/jacket 0
cardboard box 4
all of the above! 5
2 or more of the above! (please comment!) 21
Other (please comment!) 21
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Comments ( 42 )
  • Roger_Maxson
    10 years ago

    One time I used the remnants of the underwear I was wearing

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Haha! Seems like there's an interesting (or embarrassing!) story behind this!

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      • Roger_Maxson
        10 years ago

        Not really, there was just no toilet paper and the underwear was kinda old, I thought, "I still have pants, why do I NEED underwear?"

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I like that story. Good 'nuff.

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    I feel so abnormal as I only use toilet paper.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Go get out there far away from proper restrooms and have yourself an adventure!

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        Oh sacred leaves it shall be! Feel honored that I chooseth you!

        *Rips leaves of trees*

        *Tears down some bark*

        This shall be the perfect surface to go on. Nice and sturdy it is. Like nature"s platter to the treetops. May someone find it and think they have stumbled upon a ancient artifact. My waste shall be put in museums and made famous through word of tongue and the media. But when the time comes to claimeth thee, the media shan't believeth me. Scientists will want to take samples of my waste. But will that proveth anything? If it does the questions as too why I relieved myself in the forest, aimed it over a platter of bark and wiped with leaves will be brought up. Oh the horror of it all! This is why I must keep the truth behind the celebrity waste to myself. I must keep myself a secret. HAHAHA! I'll keep myself a secret until I unleash my dastardly plot upon the world. Those fools wouldn't see it coming!!!! They wouldn't see me!!!

        *Evil laughter*

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        • NormalIsOverratedBeANinja
          10 years ago

          Your grammar is terrible.

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          • Avant-Garde
            10 years ago

            How so? I really can't help it as I have some neurological health issues.

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            • NormalIsOverratedBeANinja
              10 years ago

              I mean your archaic English with all the claimeth and believeth and shit. It's fine, nobody knows how to use that shit — I meant it jokingly.

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  • anti-hero
    10 years ago

    OP's tongue.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      That was YOU?!?!

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      • anti-hero
        10 years ago

        All 17 times.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          You do a wicked chick voice. You shave well also. My compliments!!

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          • anti-hero
            10 years ago

            It's a wax but thanks.

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    • vinylboy
      10 years ago

      you can use my tongue

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      • anti-hero
        10 years ago

        I'm heterosexual, but thanks for the offer.

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  • [email protected]
    10 years ago

    Ah1 The WONDERFUL PLEASURES of a homeless man!

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    3 people used their pet? O_o

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  • CatTurd
    10 years ago

    Weirdest thing I've ever wiped with was my maths book.
    My friend and I were skipping school and getting stoned. We both really needed a dump so we decided to go together in some bushes.

    My friend was very clever because he realized we should rip off the book cover which had our name on. I'd have been embarrassed if somebody ever found my name on a piece of turdy maths book.

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  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago

    Oh good grief that's funny stuff. Well done op.

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  • bananaface
    10 years ago

    Haha, "Tortilla/bread" was making me laugh, and then I saw "Taxidermied animal"! Lol! And what's up with the rug, remote control, shoe, backpack and toothbrush option?! Gawd, the more options I read the weirder this poll gets! It's making me laugh.:D

    Edit: "The cat/dog/chinchilla"! That would just be cruel!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I used a bathroom in which the owner had hung a jackalope mount. I guess he thought it was funny but the joke was on him.

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  • NormalIsOverratedBeANinja
    10 years ago

    I used my homework once. I brought it in the next day and the teacher didn't want it anymore for some reason.

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  • Im-A-Beast
    10 years ago

    Lol, Q-Tips, you need plenty of them.

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  • chewy
    10 years ago

    I usually use toilet paper.

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  • philosephorSteve
    10 years ago

    hahahahaha funniest post ive seen so far but in all seriousness ive used lined paper, printer paper, ( i crunch the paper up a bunch and then flatten it then repeat process, it turns into soft paper :p ) the waxy bag u get donuts in, i think a sock once... tree leaves out in the bush and i believe thats all lmaoooo

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  • PureLikeSnow
    10 years ago

    Tree leaves. There's nothing wrong with going green.

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    • thenightcreature
      10 years ago

      Unless it's poison oak

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Leaves from a mullien plant; they're large, fuzzy, and grow everywhere in the forests where I grew up. I had to use them a couple of times when I was a kid in an emergency.

    http://mullinslogcabin.net/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/Young_Mullein_Plant.116150317.JPG

    I also had to use the water/bucket method while travelling on a ferry between islands when I was in Thailand. Not fun. :( I would have loved to have some toilet paper that day.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Five people are Muslims.

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  • gloryholeflasher
    8 years ago

    Hand full of grass.
    Also used my underwear. I had a pretty greasy fart before I got to the bathroom, and then there was no TP, so I figured my underwear are ruined anyway so I used them to wipe with and flushed them down.

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  • noodle76
    10 years ago

    the actual tp tube.

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  • hairyfairy
    10 years ago

    Iv`e had to use the cardboard from inside the toilet roll when Iv`e run out of paper.

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  • melloelf
    10 years ago

    i've used pages from books, wet wipes, a hand cloth and i believe at some point when i was younger i used a leaf when i was outdoors.

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  • lisac1919
    10 years ago

    Sometimes if at the last minute I realize there is no toilet paper I use the cardboard roll. lol.

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  • Kerry69
    10 years ago

    Moist wipes/paper serviettes.

    Leaves & newspaper "ouch" when i was little.

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  • kittykat9930
    10 years ago

    More than one of those but I accidentally clicked just Shirt :P It's also leaves and dishrags

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I've never done any of that. What dumbass would take a dump without making sure there is t.p. or something similar in the room. I will never understand.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Sometimes you gotta go NOW. You never know when or where it will strike.

      Or maybe you're broke and have depleted your TP, napkins and paper towels and have to get creative.

      Perhaps you're a prick who likes to wipe your ass on people's stuff.

      Maybe you're an artist, a creative soul, who wants to branch out from the standard paper products.

      Sometimes it's the alcohol to blame.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Your last three options in your reply are absolutely hilarious (and potentially true).

        This whole poll is genius: bravo, OP. <3

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I'm glad you have enjoyed it! :)

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