What gives a woman hot legs?

Your cynicism makes sense from the gas lighting backdrop of your past. I would just say this.

1). Being obsessed with dating, sex and relationships often has a healthy developmental component to it. Learning how to have fun as a couple continues to nurture healthy dynamics all thru life. For example, I had a 19 year old girlfriend that was as precise as a surgical nurse when helping me fix my motorcycle. The unity we felt in our common goal was uplifting. Ummmm, btw I married her.

2). At age 48, you're still in the game of life. You could still make bad mistakes like you did in college. One of them is dropping out of society.

3). I agree that rigid patriarchy inhibits the synergy that active parents need to maximize good influences on their kids. Just a genetic note that in patrilineal kinship, the last name follows the Y-chromosome. There can be no real analogy for this with X-chromosomes.

4). Maybe you need a volunteer job.