What do you think of my writing?

It's O.K.

The subject isn't particularly compelling; introverted girl who plays piano and has nice parents. But it's obviously difficult to flesh out a character in such a small segment, and I'm assuming she would become more interesting given more text.

Stylistically it's fairly average - easy to follow, simple vocabulary, conventional metaphors, linear chronology. It doesn't stand out but it is functional prose and conveys the narrative adequately.

You swapped tenses in the last paragraph briefly ("...her mother responds") - that's something to be mindful of. Oh and you spelt 'sighed' "signed" quite a few times - this girl 'signs' a lot!

My suggestions for improving:
- Play with your imagery a little more to make your descriptions compelling and vivid
- Expand your vocabulary somewhat to avoid so much repetition
- Include more descriptions of actions and especially of the setting so as an audience we can visualise the scene. For example, instead of just,

"she played piano quietly; trying not to have the others hear."

...what about,

"She played the piano quietly; it was a black monolith in the corner of her room she allowed herself to be swallowed in, pressing delicately at the stained-yellow keys so as not to disturb even the dust that collected upon the instrument's antique skin. This was for her alone."

...or something. This gives the piano a definite description, and helps make the scene more tangible.

But these are only my preferences and what I'd like to read - everybody has different tastes so I'm sure there are people who like it as it is. In my opinion it's an averagely good bit of writing :)

It needs better structure and more context. But I do see at least some potential here.

You're great at creating a mood and setting a tone. It's a real skill to create such a sense of atmosphere in even a short piece, so you definitely have skill. However, I wouldn't be much of a ProseAthlete if I didn't have some critique to offer, too. This won't hurt much, I promise. :)

- You may have repeated "spells of loneliness" for effect, but the repetition of the phrase isn't entirely effective. You could weave the two sentences together and eliminate the doubled phrase: "The family called them her spells of loneliness, but to the Moydows' oldest daughter, they were something much different."

- Your verb tenses are a little shaky here and there, as others have noted. The "had called" in the first paragraph and the "mother responds" don't quite fit.

- Your semicolon between "quietly" and "trying" should be a comma, as KeddersPrincess noted.

- You've probably heard the "show, don't tell" admonition from teachers and writing coaches, and it's good advice. For example, take a look at this passage: "She tried to express the silence of her voice and the delicacy of the leaves outside swaying. It was a relief." How did she express those things? Show us how she played, how she expressed that relief. Did she sway like the leaves outside her window? Did she close her eyes and let her shoulders fall as she played? Did her breathing slow in time with the gentle tempo of the music? Paint the picture instead of telling us what's on the canvas, and you'll make more of an impact with your writing.

- You have a few comma errors and grammatical mistakes. You may think that doesn't matter because professional writers have editors, but it always matters. You won't get your foot in the door with a publisher if your manuscript is a mess. "Unwrap" is one word. You don't need a comma between "and" and "pearl." You need punctuation after the quote ending in "we think." "Alright" isn't a word; it's always "all right."

Google "FANBOYS grammar" and you'll find an incredibly handy mnemonic for remembering when to use a comma. FANBOYS stands for "for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so," and it's a really useful way to guide your comma use.

You need to word-smith this stuff. For example, "express the silence of her voice" could be more descriptively put as "express the faintness of her voice".

Too many sentences start with "She". Get inside her head. Quote what she is thinking for us. How does she react when forced to interact with the world? Does a nervous sweat interrupt her stammering voice? Does she dread a knock on the door?

Language is fun, but I'm glad I'm a mathematician.

I really like it, I'm quite surprised at how subtly you write. You definitely have something.

The suspense, "She had not been seen for days...", is vague and incongruent. Is "She" Gabrielle? Who said it? It remains unresolved why she was not seen for days. The reasons for her locking herself in her room (her emotions) are not explained or explored. Why did the family not knock on the door (intervene) within those days?

Was the girl deaf? Or did you mean "sigh".

I quite like the prose style actually it is a breath of fresh air.
-English student

Yawn. Sorry but true. What are you even on about. Your introduction is supposed to captivate the reader & by the first paragraph I was already bored out of my mind.

I'm sorry, but I thought it was boring. The first paragraph was especially awkward (like the wording of the first sentence and the repetition of "spell(s) of lonliness"). Many of the sentences were just linear blah. She played the piano quietly, she was drawn to the piano, she tried, she heard, blah, blah, etc., etc.. There was also a lack of description in the writing and I was only interested at the part where she started signing (only because I was curious about why she was signing and not interested in the dialogue itself). Also, there were some grammatical and verb-tense mistakes.

Overall, the writing isn't neccesarily bad, it's just bland. Though, this might be because I don't have the full context of what's happening.

Grammar is a bit shit mate. Some of the sentences are a bit back to front.

"She had not been seen for days, it was said."

That for example, just doesn't sound right.

I thought it was alright. Not bad, but not particularly good either, in my opinion.

I thought it was good and there's not much that I can really critisize here. Between the word "quietly" and "trying", I don't think a semicolon goes there. Certain areas Ithough could've been wordy better such as "Gabrielle signed thank you to her parents shyly". I feek like it would sound better if you put the word "shlyly" inbetween Gabrielle" and "signed". To me, it sounds a little wordy the other way around, but that could just be me.

I voted I liked it because it's easy to follow along with the story and the structure sounds good and, overall, I thought you did a good job.