What do you think i should do? Is my dilemma normal?

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  • Very occasionally, a post requires me to go away, stand at the window and watch the world for ten minutes while I think of a reply. More often than not, they're the posts that have made me so angry, I need some pause for thought to turn that anger into words.

    In exceedingly rare cases, it's not anger at the OP but a realisation that their position deserves more than just a summary reply. I've sent thousands of responses in my time here and I think this is only the second time ever that I've took ten minutes out because I felt it was deserved in a good way by the OP.

    First, I think you are too honest for your own good. And I am saying this as a man who believes dishonesty should be a crime punishable by law.

    Second, I think you are too willing to fit into her worldview. You are the "reserve" because you accepted that position. She has a safety net, while you are left with nothing but faint hope.

    Finally, I believe you are one of those rare people who lives life the way everyone else says they do, but actually don't. I am an atheist and don't have a book to tell me what is good and what isn't. I just have to go by instinct and intuitivism. Instinctively, I know I'd be friends with you if we'd ever met. If you can project that to me merely via words on a screen, you really need to show some girl how nice you can be.

    If you can get to a position where you no longer care so much about the girl you're in love with, you might just stand a chance of finding something that matters as much to your future partner as it does to you. I wish you all the luck in the world.

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    • I wholly acknowledge that you likely won't read this and I know it is several years too late but I would just like to say thank you. You helped me belive in myself and now I am a changed person. Thank you.

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