What do you do during taking a bath?

first I try getting in the bathtub full of steaming hot water without fainting or boiling myself up, and not to fall then I get inside the bathtub very slowly, One inch at a time,once I am fully underwater, except for my knees,who are always left out in the cold, damn thing is too small, I start examining my skin to check for new moles or worsening ones and the condition of my pores. Amongst other things. Then I scrub myself with a sponge soaked in antibacterial soap adding mild pressure to every area starting with the chest, ending with the feet, I must do it in a very precise order trying to go around the moles. Then I focus my attention on my natal cleft area and my cyst. After I am done doing that, I change the water without getting out of the bathtub, using the shower hose to wash out the last traces of dirt still attached to my skin, then, once the bathtub is completely filled again I go underwater several times counting the seconds I manage to keep underwater in apnea. This helps me evaluate the condition of my lungs. Amongst other things. Then I smoke a ciggie and just lay there waiting for the water to run cold. Then I stick the shower hose under water, under my balls, it feels quite good. Meanwhile,I concentrate on the way I am feeling,checking whether my usual aches are worsening or getting better while staying in the bathtub. Then I start getting quite bored and either sad or hypomanic according to what I notice about my body. Like: oh no! this mole is like mutating! It has got another small ball over it! It's cancer. I know it. I am doomed! Then I think about Jim Morrison for some reason, he was found dead in a bathtub, and start wondering about what killed him, reaching a different conclusion everytime. Then I sing a little, moonlight drive, wild child, five to one, let my fire, etc. Then I come up with an impromptu improvised tune that could have totally been an unknown doors hit, empty the bathtub again finish myself off with ice cold water and some perfumed alcohol, I spray it all over my body, to further sterilize my skin. I need to keep a clean skin. At least for about a few seconds. I start sweating again as soon as I get out of the bathtub and it get's on my nerves. Since I scrubbed myself a bit too hard the alcohol over my skin kind of burns. Then it is time for butthole manteinance.
I have hemorroids and I must make sure my genital area is as clean as possible before wearing my undies. Then I struggle with myself for a few seconds because I never seem to convince myself to get out of the now warm bathroom to get in the cold hallway. Temperature shifts give me aches in my joints. I have arthritis.
Then I take my phone, get on this website to bother somebody with my exceedingly long entries. After wearing my tiger fur cub.