It was different for me. When that relationship started I just wanted to be loved by anyone, because I felt like I was missing out by not having that. Being dependent meant that I sacrificed other things that made me happy for that relationship (time, hobbies and interests, sport, friends, some of my less important personal morals etc.) because I thought that it would be worth it, but the sort of love that we had isn't even close to enough to fill a life that is otherwise not happy and "sold out".
She cared about me a lot, but, instead of doing what made me happy because she cared about me, she guarded me jealously and didn't let me be happy because she was scared of losing me because she was dependent. That's what happens when relationships are dependent. I know if I had a relationship now, with a different girl who had an attitude more like mine is now, it would be a lot better and that's more than enough for me. The pain was temporary and shallow, but the gains are deep and permanent.
Dependency is like an addiction, and that means that you stop caring about the person you're with and you're prepared to sacrifice their feelings in order to keep them close. It's nice if two people both want the same thing and don't mind giving every second to each other, but I think eventually one of them will always be suffocated and want to pull away.
What are your biggest regrets?
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It was different for me. When that relationship started I just wanted to be loved by anyone, because I felt like I was missing out by not having that. Being dependent meant that I sacrificed other things that made me happy for that relationship (time, hobbies and interests, sport, friends, some of my less important personal morals etc.) because I thought that it would be worth it, but the sort of love that we had isn't even close to enough to fill a life that is otherwise not happy and "sold out".
She cared about me a lot, but, instead of doing what made me happy because she cared about me, she guarded me jealously and didn't let me be happy because she was scared of losing me because she was dependent. That's what happens when relationships are dependent. I know if I had a relationship now, with a different girl who had an attitude more like mine is now, it would be a lot better and that's more than enough for me. The pain was temporary and shallow, but the gains are deep and permanent.
Dependency is like an addiction, and that means that you stop caring about the person you're with and you're prepared to sacrifice their feelings in order to keep them close. It's nice if two people both want the same thing and don't mind giving every second to each other, but I think eventually one of them will always be suffocated and want to pull away.
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Anime7
9 years ago
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Interesting. I guess I could see what you mean then after you explained it. Sounds like it was horrible, like being suffocated.