What are your biggest regrets?
Don't say you don't have any, because you're implying that you're perfect then, which of course no-one is.
Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 21 votes
(18 yes)
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Comments ( 38
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Jeaneathean
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dom180
I don't regret very much, because I'm getting good at letting things go and when it comes to life I'm a good loser. I don't think it implies you're a perfect person, I think it just implies that you recognise being perfect shouldn't be the aim. Being perfect should only be the aim if you enjoy failure :P For example: I should have done more work in school, but I don't regret it because if I did I would be in a different place now and I don't want to be somewhere else now.
That said, I regret some things about my past relationship - mostly that I didn't stand up for myself enough. I almost regret not getting out sooner, but I think I played that card well and at the right time even though I spent a lot of months being unhappy. That's all I can think of for now.
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Anime7
That's sort of weird to hear you say if you don't mind me saying. I always pictured you to be that nice guy, not the stereotypical one, but the one that actually has good and happy relationships because he's actually a chill guy to be around. Not saying that you're not chill, just thought that like you'd have one of those happy relationships.
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dom180
I think that relationship helped me grow a lot... which is a nice way of saying that it was very painful but the pain made me who I am because I figured that there was a healthy way I should avoid it happening again - just chill out more and have maximum self-love and self-respect. Obviously those are aims, not instructions, and working out the instructions to achieve those aims was a lot harder (and it's a work in progress, but I am getting there).
When that relationhip was starting two years ago, I was very different. I was dependent on her and I enjoyed the fact that she was dependent on me because it gave me security. But because I was dependent I found myself accepting ways of being treated that weren't fair to me, and I because I was content with her being dependent I didn't notice that I was being suffocated until it was too late. But yeah, that relationship (as well as a few other things) has made a much happier, much more chilled out person.
I think I was a fundamentally "nice guy", and I think she was a nice girl. But neither of us were ready emotionally for that sort of relationship and we had far too many conflicting ways of thinking, conflicting priorities within the relationship that made me sacrifice doing what really made me happy to keep the relationship alive, which consequentially made the relationship not really worth having.
After that, I've found meeting and having healthy connections to girls a lot easier, and even though unfortunately no relationship has come from it I'm still happy being single.
So I suppose it's like the Sailor said: I don't regret it because it took me to a happy place. And it's like radar said: it's only clear now what I should have done because of hindsight.
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Anime7
It sounds like you learned a lot from this relationship, and although it may have been a bad experience at least you've learned from it. That's better than just sitting their wallowing in your self pity.
It's interesting still to hear you say that it didn't workout. I mean I figure you to be a pretty emotionally in tune guy. Like you have no qualms about how you feel, and you have no trouble telling people. I figured that with that in mind you probably would be like the ideal dude for a girl. I'll admit that I'm saying ideal since I hear a lot of girls preach about guys with nice personalities and I think you have that.
I can understand what you mean by allowing yourself to be treated a certain way just because you wanted love. At least that's how I interpreted it. Like she was dependent on you, which sounds awesome. But I could sort of see how that might play out badly. Like she might use as an ear and not really care about your feelings. I'm probably wrong, I can't really see it too well now that I'm thinking about it. It sounds nice in theory, having someone dependent on you for love and you for them.
But I'm sorry that it didn't workout, but at least some good came from it. There's always that.
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dom180
It was different for me. When that relationship started I just wanted to be loved by anyone, because I felt like I was missing out by not having that. Being dependent meant that I sacrificed other things that made me happy for that relationship (time, hobbies and interests, sport, friends, some of my less important personal morals etc.) because I thought that it would be worth it, but the sort of love that we had isn't even close to enough to fill a life that is otherwise not happy and "sold out".
She cared about me a lot, but, instead of doing what made me happy because she cared about me, she guarded me jealously and didn't let me be happy because she was scared of losing me because she was dependent. That's what happens when relationships are dependent. I know if I had a relationship now, with a different girl who had an attitude more like mine is now, it would be a lot better and that's more than enough for me. The pain was temporary and shallow, but the gains are deep and permanent.
Dependency is like an addiction, and that means that you stop caring about the person you're with and you're prepared to sacrifice their feelings in order to keep them close. It's nice if two people both want the same thing and don't mind giving every second to each other, but I think eventually one of them will always be suffocated and want to pull away.
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Myarmfelloff
Drugs, too much drinking, my dwi, hurting my family by all the stupid shit I've done, sex while drunk..
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Sunshine:)
Asking out guys, lounging around instead of working, stepping on my cat by accident, etc.
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thegypsysailor
Most of my regrets are about choices I made with women.
For instance; I had an opportunity to leave my second wife (before we married) for another woman who was much more into sailing. It was a very good relationship and it lasted 14 years, but she was not the right woman for me professionally. She finally left to move ashore and away from boats.
But every choice I made led me to the moment I met my present gf, the boat we own now and the incredibly great life we are living together, sailing in the Caribbean. So in reality, I regret absolutely nothing.Comment Hidden ( show ) -
[Old Memory]
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BLAh81
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[Old Memory]
Every event and choice that has led me up until this point in my life whether good or bad has helped shape my own identity as a person. I regret nothing. You can lick my salty choad.
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peterr
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ucipher8
I want to read all the comments and compare everyone's regrets over mine but i just won't. My biggest regret? I guess im still working on which one i regret the most!
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ThatCreepyWhiteGuy
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squirelhunter
For me its small things everyday which can be done slightly better many times throughout a day but when i look back it i realise id do everything again.
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CoLLie94
For me it's not so much regrets but more about "what ifs" I like to try and make the best decision at that moment but later I look back and wonder. I'm happy with my life now too but still, it could have been different. I kind of try and think along the lines of " it happened for a reason".
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[Old Memory]
Never becoming skilled at things when I was younger. It seems like I have wasted time when I look back, and think that I could have been a piano master, great at archery, Karate, singing, etc.
I also regret anal. Owie :/
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squirrelgirl
In no particular order:
Allowing my weight to get out of control.
Buying into Big Pharma's song and dance and going on psychiatric medication (which I have been on for so many years that I might as well be classified as an addict)
Physically harming (or attempting to harm) my siblings and pets (and no, this wasn't when I was a child, when that type of thing can slide - I had already become a teenager/adult and knew better)
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Tommythecat.
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GoraIntoDesiGals
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nawtyalice
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bananapie
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KeddersPrincess
Having an obsessive crush on this boy I knew in middle/early high school. It didn't end well.
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RoseIsabella
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Anime7
I don't really have any at the moment that I could think of. I'm not perfect it's just that I try to avoid having regrets. I talked to the girl I wanted to and even asked her out, all to see that it didn't workout and she never liked me as more than a friend. But I tried and I saw what happened. I have no regrets because I don't want to be that guy that asks himself "what if" when he's in his fifties. Plus, there hasn't been any opportunities that could've significantly impacted my life as of yet.
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dom180
That's a good way to live. Thinking of your life in terms of trying to minimise your regrets when you're older is a good way not to have many regrets to look back on. It's a strategy I try and use as much as I can. I think of it like rolling dice - you only need to roll a 7 once to be happy, so why not roll the dice as often as possible and take every opportunity you can even if the results aren't in your control?
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Anime7
That's a pretty awesome analogy. It's true. But that 7 part kind of through off. I could go into a whole psychological analysis about how that's suppose to represent perfection and since it's an unattainable goal, we'll never reach it but at least trying is not a bad endeavor. lol.
But yeah, as boring as my life is, I try not have regrets when the opportunity arises.
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dom180
Maybe it's more like a 12 than a 7; not very likely. Or maybe it's 13 - completely out of reach :P I think it is possible though, no matter how unlikely it seems. There are a lot of opportunities and sometimes you only need one to come off to be happy.
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Anime7
Are you referring to one of those 20 sided dices? I'm not really following the whole which number to land on thing. Regardless, don't you think that perhaps there could be multiple numbers that could result in your happiness? I mean it'd be sort of messed up if like you need to have this one and only thing to make yourself happy. There's to more to life than just one thing.
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dom180
It was two normal six-sided dice, like they usually use in casinos. 7 is the most common outcome of rolling two dice because you can make 7 in a lots of different ways (1 and 6, 2 and 5, 3 and 4), whereas 2 and 12 are the least likely because you can only make them in one possible way (1 and 1 to make 2, and 6 and 6 to make 12). 13, as I'm sure you can work out, is not possible :P
And you're right, multiple numbers can result in happiness. Being happy is starting to look quite easy when all you have to do is let the random outcomes make you happy! :) Take life as it comes and don't stress about it when it doesn't go the way you think would be best.
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[Old Memory]
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BLAh81
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