Yup your life has turned you into a lapdog. No fears, no consequences, just skating by on crystal pools. Everything is recreational. You’re young, you’ll move on from this, if you don’t you’re fucked.
You haven’t feared death because you haven’t faced it, maybe you will maybe you won’t. But I’ve written this a couple times on here before, and I suggest it to everyone I think is worth being told it - Kill yourself. Everyone needs to be broken, beaten, starved, frozen, overdosed, suffocated, whatever you choose, you need to die.
No safety nets, no take backs, you need to die. If your life is worth living to you, you’ll live, but if it isn’t then you’ll die. But if it isn’t worth it then why live anyway? This sounds edgelord as hell and cringey, but I’m serious. Death fixes everyone.
I could write a book on benefits of almost-suicide
"Everyone needs to be broken, beaten, starved, frozen, overdosed, suffocated, whatever you choose, you need to die."
I've done all except suffocated, plus I've been homeless, penniless and destitute on top of it.
Here is the problem tho. Not a direct quote but close to it is: "If you stare too long into the abyss, eventually the abyss will stare back at you."
Once this happens you are forever changed and you come out a completely different person on the other side. For me, I will never trust anyone again. I am broken and I will not regain my trust of humans.
I don't think DNM could survive what you are suggesting. Not many people can. It's a nice thought that we come out stronger, but even if we do, a part of us is forever missing.
Twice I’ve completely lost myself; when I ran away to Mongolia and when I did my months of solitary confinement.
Which is funny, because in the first scenario I could go anywhere, Mongolia is so open and expansive I could just travel for days, but in solitary I couldn’t go anywhere. Complete opposites that issued the same “turn your brain off and just survive” response.
It’s true you never come back, but I think that “mid-life death” can be a powerful tool. I’m /nothing/ like who I was before Mongolia, and absolutely a different person after prison.
But I think I’m for the better now, picked up a few nasty elements to my edge, but I’d rather be working to fix things I know are wrong then to blindly be a menace.
I’m not saying DNM is a bad guy, but I think he needs to kick a few addictions and comforts, going blank might help that.
I agree except for the part of calling me a pussy! Ya'll act like I haven't dealt with anything before. Suicidal as fuck for years doing self harm, addicted to porn, hiding the fact that I've left Christianity from my family for 4 fucking years when I know they would kill me if I found out.
Well that's me right now pretty much. No family. No super close friends. Not in a relationship. I don't even believe in god so if anything I have to be even more self dependent.
Yes I have that. My family is like 10 hours away but if my life was in danger, ya they would do something. I get a lot of financial support to. If my car breaks down I have a roommate who I'd call and then my parents maybe.
It feels weird trying to argue how bad off I am. Overall I'm really not. At least things could be a lot worse.
To be fair, I thought you were referring to like emotional support as opposed to financial. My parents and grandparents are helping me a ton financially of course.
So if I almost die, what will that fix? How will my life change?
I'm assuming your one of those motivational speakers or inspirational types who says I just need to be "scared" somehow and then I'll live my life with purpose and help others and all this shit. Meanwhile YOU are taking probably 15 years off your fucking life smoking a gazillion cigarettes. Maybe I need to "scare" you by showing you studies and evidence on how fucking horrible that is for you? Maybe that's a wake up call you need???
And besides, I have almost died before. Just cause I haven't feared death doesn't mean I haven't almost died. Senior year off high school I hit ice and lost traction completely going 60 miles per hour and hit a tree. Very easily could have died. If it wasn't for the deep show that slowed my car once I was off the road, I would have almost certainly died.
How should I know what will come of it? That’s the whole point. You’ll figure it out.
I’m losing the enthusiasm to put effort into you quickly, because I feel like you assume I’m insulting you. Solitude and selfishness will only harm you, in any community setting. Traditionally, those who weren’t well liked would die off, that’s the way it should be for the health of the majority. Don’t you want to succeed? Slapping your dick around and leeching off your parents will never get you anywhere.
There’s never been a male in my ancestry to live past 50, I know where I stand and what’s coming, smoking and drinking keeps my edge off and helps me through the day. You really can’t talk when you use steroids, but I don’t care that you use.
Enjoyment will get you nothing, enjoyment should only be used as a reward for completing a task or for a solid days work. Thats why smiling or laughing in public is viewed so negatively, unless you can spit out a reason for why you’re doing it when confronted.
You’re living on a cushion, and your parents wealth will only add to that, get off their support as soon as you can. I had very wealthy parents growing up as well, I know how comfy things could have gotten.
Well the reason I assumed I knew what you were saying is because I wasn't sure what in tarnation you were trying to say.
That hasn't changed. I still don't understand. What do you expect me change?
Hypothetically, if I promised to do whatever you said I should do, what would you tell me to do?
Steriods are wayyyyyyyy safer than smoking. Debatable whether or not the even make you die sooner at all. That is a ridiculous comparison, but beside the point somewhat, I suppose.
Are you trying to say I'm gonna be broke or inadequate financially somehow? I'm good at my mf job and its not a hard job to get. You don't become mister money bags being a PT, but its certainly enough to sustain myself.
Are you saying I shouldn't let my parents pay 90% of my college? I should say I want to be independent and pay more myself? Who in their right fucking mind would do that? They are saving me 5-figures no joke.
I don't want to assume you have bad intentions but I just don't really see what your saying I should do. I'm having a hard time understanding specifically what you are saying.
What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done?
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Yup your life has turned you into a lapdog. No fears, no consequences, just skating by on crystal pools. Everything is recreational. You’re young, you’ll move on from this, if you don’t you’re fucked.
You haven’t feared death because you haven’t faced it, maybe you will maybe you won’t. But I’ve written this a couple times on here before, and I suggest it to everyone I think is worth being told it - Kill yourself. Everyone needs to be broken, beaten, starved, frozen, overdosed, suffocated, whatever you choose, you need to die.
No safety nets, no take backs, you need to die. If your life is worth living to you, you’ll live, but if it isn’t then you’ll die. But if it isn’t worth it then why live anyway? This sounds edgelord as hell and cringey, but I’m serious. Death fixes everyone.
I could write a book on benefits of almost-suicide
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Nikclaire
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d0esnormalmatter
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"Everyone needs to be broken, beaten, starved, frozen, overdosed, suffocated, whatever you choose, you need to die."
I've done all except suffocated, plus I've been homeless, penniless and destitute on top of it.
Here is the problem tho. Not a direct quote but close to it is: "If you stare too long into the abyss, eventually the abyss will stare back at you."
Once this happens you are forever changed and you come out a completely different person on the other side. For me, I will never trust anyone again. I am broken and I will not regain my trust of humans.
I don't think DNM could survive what you are suggesting. Not many people can. It's a nice thought that we come out stronger, but even if we do, a part of us is forever missing.
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KholatKhult
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Twice I’ve completely lost myself; when I ran away to Mongolia and when I did my months of solitary confinement.
Which is funny, because in the first scenario I could go anywhere, Mongolia is so open and expansive I could just travel for days, but in solitary I couldn’t go anywhere. Complete opposites that issued the same “turn your brain off and just survive” response.
It’s true you never come back, but I think that “mid-life death” can be a powerful tool. I’m /nothing/ like who I was before Mongolia, and absolutely a different person after prison.
But I think I’m for the better now, picked up a few nasty elements to my edge, but I’d rather be working to fix things I know are wrong then to blindly be a menace.
I’m not saying DNM is a bad guy, but I think he needs to kick a few addictions and comforts, going blank might help that.
I agree except for the part of calling me a pussy! Ya'll act like I haven't dealt with anything before. Suicidal as fuck for years doing self harm, addicted to porn, hiding the fact that I've left Christianity from my family for 4 fucking years when I know they would kill me if I found out.
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Ever been without a safety net tho? No one to turn to for help, to fall back on? Just you and God(or whatever you believe in) to figure it all out?
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Well that's me right now pretty much. No family. No super close friends. Not in a relationship. I don't even believe in god so if anything I have to be even more self dependent.
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So you pay your rent, food, utilities, have no childhood home to return to, have no one to call if you car breaks down or you wind up in hospital?
I am not saying you have it all good, just saying you have safety nets to fall back on and that is vastly different.
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d0esnormalmatter
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Yes I have that. My family is like 10 hours away but if my life was in danger, ya they would do something. I get a lot of financial support to. If my car breaks down I have a roommate who I'd call and then my parents maybe.
It feels weird trying to argue how bad off I am. Overall I'm really not. At least things could be a lot worse.
To be fair, I thought you were referring to like emotional support as opposed to financial. My parents and grandparents are helping me a ton financially of course.
So if I almost die, what will that fix? How will my life change?
I'm assuming your one of those motivational speakers or inspirational types who says I just need to be "scared" somehow and then I'll live my life with purpose and help others and all this shit. Meanwhile YOU are taking probably 15 years off your fucking life smoking a gazillion cigarettes. Maybe I need to "scare" you by showing you studies and evidence on how fucking horrible that is for you? Maybe that's a wake up call you need???
And besides, I have almost died before. Just cause I haven't feared death doesn't mean I haven't almost died. Senior year off high school I hit ice and lost traction completely going 60 miles per hour and hit a tree. Very easily could have died. If it wasn't for the deep show that slowed my car once I was off the road, I would have almost certainly died.
You act as if living life for enjoyment is bad.
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KholatKhult
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How should I know what will come of it? That’s the whole point. You’ll figure it out.
I’m losing the enthusiasm to put effort into you quickly, because I feel like you assume I’m insulting you. Solitude and selfishness will only harm you, in any community setting. Traditionally, those who weren’t well liked would die off, that’s the way it should be for the health of the majority. Don’t you want to succeed? Slapping your dick around and leeching off your parents will never get you anywhere.
There’s never been a male in my ancestry to live past 50, I know where I stand and what’s coming, smoking and drinking keeps my edge off and helps me through the day. You really can’t talk when you use steroids, but I don’t care that you use.
Enjoyment will get you nothing, enjoyment should only be used as a reward for completing a task or for a solid days work. Thats why smiling or laughing in public is viewed so negatively, unless you can spit out a reason for why you’re doing it when confronted.
You’re living on a cushion, and your parents wealth will only add to that, get off their support as soon as you can. I had very wealthy parents growing up as well, I know how comfy things could have gotten.
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d0esnormalmatter
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Well the reason I assumed I knew what you were saying is because I wasn't sure what in tarnation you were trying to say.
That hasn't changed. I still don't understand. What do you expect me change?
Hypothetically, if I promised to do whatever you said I should do, what would you tell me to do?
Steriods are wayyyyyyyy safer than smoking. Debatable whether or not the even make you die sooner at all. That is a ridiculous comparison, but beside the point somewhat, I suppose.
Are you trying to say I'm gonna be broke or inadequate financially somehow? I'm good at my mf job and its not a hard job to get. You don't become mister money bags being a PT, but its certainly enough to sustain myself.
Are you saying I shouldn't let my parents pay 90% of my college? I should say I want to be independent and pay more myself? Who in their right fucking mind would do that? They are saving me 5-figures no joke.
I don't want to assume you have bad intentions but I just don't really see what your saying I should do. I'm having a hard time understanding specifically what you are saying.