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Planned children: what was your childhood like?
My parents planned me but then realized they didn't really want kids after all so I got neglected and treated pretty badly. Just wondering how common this is.
| Planned, treated well | 27 | |
| Planned, treated badly | 9 | |
| Unplanned, treated well | 18 | |
| Unplanned, treated badly | 10 |
I was a mistake, my mom couldn't keep her legs closed and I wish she aborted me because I didnt ask for this life.
Kind of both. I think my mum tricked my dad into having me. she was "on the pill"
I was very unplanned! Too screwed up of a story to tell here, but I was VERY loved. My mother passed away when I was 14, and my dad was awesome! He is still my hero!
My parent's ego was on the line since the day I was born. They thought that ever present misery built character. But, they never accepted the cold personna I had to develop to live with them. Good motivation, an independent attitude, and avoiding them at all costs provided a temporary escape. I made peace with them of sorts in the few years before they died. It is a relief that they are gone.
I was planned, as were six of my seven younger siblings. Most of us were born almost exactly two years apart, and my next youngest sister was born two years to the day after me (I don't know how Mom managed that).
I was born in the mid-1950s. I remember watching some news item about the Pill with my mother when I was somewhere in my teens. In a typically nosy, stupid teen manner, I asked her how she had managed to space us so neatly. She looked me in the eye and dumped Way Too Much Information on my head: "Well, sweetheart, you remember how there was always one of those rubber shower hose attachments in the bathtub and it never had a head...?"
Thanks, Mom!
(From what I understand now, I think she was extremely lucky if vaginal douching was her only means of birth control, since it's a method with a very high failure rate.)
We were generally well-treated as kids, particularly by our mother - she decided early in life that she'd been born to be a mother.
My ten year-old daughter was very definitely not planned. In fact, we're convinced she was conceived about four hours after her mother and I first met IRL (we had spent about a week talking via emails and phone).
I'm sure she'll grow up with as many complaints and criticisms of her parents as any of the rest of us, but she's a smart, happy, positive, friendly kid at the moment, and I know her life to this point has been a lot better than even my generally-positive childhood.
Unplanned, mom came back to our home country pregnant and raised me as a single mother, never met my narcissist dad who knew how to contact us and where we were but never did. She was very loving and empathetic though had some issues and emotional instability but still a great mom compared to others.
Sorry to hear bout your parents:c at least now you know they are the shitty human beings who don't deserve love and not you.
Constant arguments with mother, and father who is so introverted he barely talks during those. They both have mental health issues so I can't really blame them..
I was planned, and someone tried to kidnap me when I was eight months old so my mom has always been very possessive and protective of me. She was kinda strict when I was growing up, I was sheltered and some people have told me that I'm spoiled.
I sort of have some Mommy issues, but it's probably not that much her fault. I do wish my mom had gone to the police after the incident. I'm not saying the cops would have caught the old bitch who tried to steal me, but it might have been an empowering experience for my parents to go make a police report, talk to a detective and a police sketch artist. I hope the people who tried to abduct me came to a bad end!
I was unplanned my parents were kind of in a open relationship they stayed with each other kind of until I was 5 then went their separate ways.
Then the years of custody battles started my mother only wanting me for the money and as a way to hurt my father this lasted mainly through the ages 12/13/15/17.
Both of them hate each with a passion to this day in fact and I was just stuck in the middle of it didn't help much that my mother was abusive.
My father who is a good man in his own right has many flaws one of which him being to trusting and naive(one of them being with my mom in the first place.)
This has lead to many problems some of which were life threatening because he was to damn nice and let the wrong people around this problem still going to to this day.
Many times in my life I wished I wasn't born but grew out of it soon I will be out on my own and wont have to deal with their problems.
I will avoid the same mistakes they did because I want a repeat of the same crap.
I was the product of rape. My father and mother were divorced and he came back to roll in the proverbial hay one last time. Tons of resentment from not only my parents, but also my more legitimate siblings.
I was planned in the sense of my mom wanting a baby.i was treated fairly well. Hope ur happy now that you are older?
i could have had my mother locked up so many times its not even funny. i guess that mean she is forgiven .
Yes. My mom had to do a handstand so she could get pregnant. It worked. There were a lot of failed attempts prior. My childhood was horrible.
Is this a doctor-recommended procedure for people who are struggling to conceive? I've always thought that it would be easier for a woman to get pregnant when gravity is on their side as opposed to against them.
P.S. also shitty childhood here - it didn't stop us from turning out alright!
I don't think so. Probably, closer to a folk remedy if anything else. I have a cousin with a tilted uterus or some such and it was recommended to her by my mom. It worked. My mother's uterus is probably tilted as well. Not sure I'm following. If you do a handstand, gravity pulls down on you, which in this case, keeps the semen in and moves it in the right direction.
Yeah, I meant gravity being on your side in the sense of it being "in your favour" I guess, as opposed to working against you and drawing the semen downwards away from the egg. I was just curious about the process - I wondered if it actually had any medical merits haha.
Whether it's common or not, how the fuck else would you find out? Moron.
YOUR attitude says a lot too.
One time I was selling something and a guy texted me about it. We texted back and forth a bit and agreed on a price and I had to get a legal paper drawn up to transfer the property to him. I'm getting it started with the paralegal and she asks for the guys phone number. I proceeded to text him to ask him for his phone number, then a minute later I realized, uh, I had his phone number because I just texted him. Instead of making up a bunch of excuses for my idiocy, I texted him back explaining I realized how stupid of a question that was and to nevermind the request. We both had a chuckle and moved on. If you say something stupid, just own up to it and take care of it instead of covering it up or denying it. You asked a really stupid question and look how have you chosen to handle that fact.
What?? Your parents told you that you weren't planned & dont like you... That's messed up
God how can they say that to their own child... Fuuck
No, I WAS planned and after they experienced being parents they regretted it. But yes, this was told to me many times and in many ways both direct and indirect, and I was always to blame (cried too much as a baby, made my mother gain too much weight, too much responsibility, too expensive, and more). Yes, my parents were/are horrible people. They constantly tried to blame me and make me feel guilty and I did feel bad as a child before I knew better. They'd whine at me for needing basic school supplies and complain about the cost yet both of them smoked and drank.
Jeez! Talk about kids having kids...
Although, from what you say, to describe your parents as merely immature is probably being too charitable.
You occasionally see posts on here from women who have "baby fever" and desperately want a kid, even though they're still in school, don't have a stable life, haven't found a man who they think would be a good father, and so on.
It's a shame women with those urges can't be sent to talk to your parents.
Ha, they were married and 21 when they had me so not exactly kids but still pretty immature. Funnily enough, they had to go through premarital counseling prior (Catholic mom) and I guess that didn't work. My dad still acts like a 17 year old-reckless, impulsive, lacks empathy, narcissistic, drug and alcohol abuse issues, irresponsible, extremely verbally and somewhat physically abusive, abusive to animals (he left home at 18 and literally immediately became an alcoholic and we've been told it's possible that caused him to stop maturing from then on which would explain a lot). My mom is super religious and just does things that she thinks she's supposed to do like become a wife, mother, work hard, but she's outwardly emotionless except to complain or shame someone. She believed so hard in the man being in charge so she let a lot of abuse happen from my dad, and also let him destroy our family financially-she would not stop his reckless spending and poor business decisions-yet complained about buying needs for her kids. That kind of thing was hard, I didn't ask to exist but I was made to feel so bad for having needs. I can still feel the fear I felt when I had to ask for something. Oh, and medical care-don't get sick or hurt!
I agree, I think we need to be more honest about the reality of having kids. Show pictures of stretch marks and deflated tits. I never even thought about that let alone saw it until a few years ago thanks to reality tv since pretty much every picture of pregnancy you'd see was sanitized, carefully chosen, a perfect specimen or airbrushed (or just a drawing). But the fact is, most women dont come out of pregnancy unscathed and many get utterly destroyed. It would benefit both women and men to see what it can do to you physically. Have honest discussions. I mean, don't tell your own kids you don't want them but we could let people speak about regret honestly in some sort of forum. I also think free and easy access to birth control and abortion is necessary. The US is terrible with this, especially abortion. They're expensive and in large parts of the country very hard to physically get to both for distance and these stupid waiting periods that have been imposed in many states.
Well that's a messed up childhood coz of your parents well how old are you?? just curious