Weirdest/most fucked up thing you've ever jacked off to?

I was once forced to be a waiter at a formal dinner for officers whilst I was in the armed forces.

I waited for the right moment, went behind the partition, whipped out my dick and started stroking like an insane person on a mission, soon I shot my man juices into the creamed spinach and set it on the table in front of my commanding officer like a good soldier should! I went behind the partitioning again and waited in silence as he chewed and swallowed each last drop of my sperm.

When I returned to collect his empty plate, he lent in towards me and told me to inform the Chef that his spinach was the best he had tasted in all years in the military!