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Whenever someone cuts off from me I will constantly go between harassing and sending them hate and self harming and crying and trying to apologise, it'll happen for weeks or sometimes months and I will keep going between hating them and missing them
You might want to get help. What you're doing isn't normal. When someone ends things with you the best reaction is to just cut your losses and move on. Harassing them over it isn't going to get them back. Heck, depending on where you are it could actually get you arrested.
That's not uncommon, especially if you have a very serious personality disorder that involves a significant fear of abandonment, and or rejection like Borderline personality disorder. I honestly think you probably need to get some professional help especially if you are cutting. You aren't going to like what I have to say, but if you are harassing people they will probably NEVER want to have anything to do with you, and their best move would probably be to block you entirely.
If someone were harassing, stalking and sending me lots of hate I would probably never want to have anything to do with that person again ever!
You should read a book called 'I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality'
by Hal Straus and Jerold Jay Kreisman