This is a toughie. Even as a Christian, in todays society, or really any society since, it's hard to imagine people being friends after, a relationship, sex, or ones pronounced affection. This is an age old question. I think by being physically intimate, at the does not have to mean in a sexual way, you might have hinted that you thought of her as something more than a friend, and that may have compounded with feelings she may have already had for you. Or not, the could have fostered after this behaviour.
You could tell her that you never meant to put out those feelings, and that maybe you shouldn't have. I can't picture a guy doing that unless they were gay, or had feelings for the girl, except in your case. Just recognize that it's probably your fault, she can't help feelings. If it get's worse, try to tell her how much she means to use as a friend, maybe you depend on her for something. Just tell her what she means to you without sounding romantic. That's as much as I can say without putting words in your mouth. I hope things go well.
Don't know why you mentioned that, but I'm in no way Christian, nor do I see how religion could affect a friendly relationship between two people of opposite sex.
I never hinted in on that I was interested into having a relationship with her.
In not way am I apologizing because she grew feelings for me. Although I admit physical contact on my part might have participated to her emotional attachment, I am not responsible for it.
I also told her what she meant for me right away saying how good a friend she was and how I didn't want things to go any further than friendship.
I'll just keep her as a friend, guess we'll never be as close as before.
Not my fault, not hers, "c'est la vie".
I was only using my own faith to empathize with the issue. I wasn't accusing you of being anything.
Because you did touch her, you are responsible for it, whether you like it or not. You should at least know that. Like I said, I don't think a woman could take it any other way, unless you were extremely effeminate, or gay, touching has always been seen as a precursor to something more. Even if you saw it differently. I'm glad you're over it.
"unless you were extremely effeminate, or gay, touching has always been seen as a precursor to something more."
So ignorant... or maybe I am? Where are you from?
In france, human contact with friends happens all the time, we kiss each other as greetings instead of shaking our hands, and that's just an example.
Anyway, maybe that's how we fail to understand each other. In france, physical contact with a friend isn't effeminate/gay-exclusive.
Why do you ask for peoples opinions if you're just going to shut them down?
We weren't even talking about that anymore. But if you insist, I had no idea you were from France, but in North America, we don't do that very often, touching is kind of a big deal and it's completely human, cultural or not, to respond emotionally when someone of the opposite sex is touching you unless there your parents or sibling.
Weird reaction I got from a girl-friend.
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This is a toughie. Even as a Christian, in todays society, or really any society since, it's hard to imagine people being friends after, a relationship, sex, or ones pronounced affection. This is an age old question. I think by being physically intimate, at the does not have to mean in a sexual way, you might have hinted that you thought of her as something more than a friend, and that may have compounded with feelings she may have already had for you. Or not, the could have fostered after this behaviour.
You could tell her that you never meant to put out those feelings, and that maybe you shouldn't have. I can't picture a guy doing that unless they were gay, or had feelings for the girl, except in your case. Just recognize that it's probably your fault, she can't help feelings. If it get's worse, try to tell her how much she means to use as a friend, maybe you depend on her for something. Just tell her what she means to you without sounding romantic. That's as much as I can say without putting words in your mouth. I hope things go well.
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Dazzle
11 years ago
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Don't know why you mentioned that, but I'm in no way Christian, nor do I see how religion could affect a friendly relationship between two people of opposite sex.
I never hinted in on that I was interested into having a relationship with her.
In not way am I apologizing because she grew feelings for me. Although I admit physical contact on my part might have participated to her emotional attachment, I am not responsible for it.
I also told her what she meant for me right away saying how good a friend she was and how I didn't want things to go any further than friendship.
I'll just keep her as a friend, guess we'll never be as close as before.
Not my fault, not hers, "c'est la vie".
--
Short4Words
11 years ago
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I was only using my own faith to empathize with the issue. I wasn't accusing you of being anything.
Because you did touch her, you are responsible for it, whether you like it or not. You should at least know that. Like I said, I don't think a woman could take it any other way, unless you were extremely effeminate, or gay, touching has always been seen as a precursor to something more. Even if you saw it differently. I'm glad you're over it.
--
Dazzle
11 years ago
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"unless you were extremely effeminate, or gay, touching has always been seen as a precursor to something more."
So ignorant... or maybe I am? Where are you from?
In france, human contact with friends happens all the time, we kiss each other as greetings instead of shaking our hands, and that's just an example.
Anyway, maybe that's how we fail to understand each other. In france, physical contact with a friend isn't effeminate/gay-exclusive.
--
Short4Words
11 years ago
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Why do you ask for peoples opinions if you're just going to shut them down?
We weren't even talking about that anymore. But if you insist, I had no idea you were from France, but in North America, we don't do that very often, touching is kind of a big deal and it's completely human, cultural or not, to respond emotionally when someone of the opposite sex is touching you unless there your parents or sibling.