From personal experience, I think that has become the definition of a creep nowadays. Frankly I'm an honest guy and I've been called a creep several times, much to my dismay.
That's genuinely dismaying. I've seen your comments on the site and you seem intelligent, honest and well-meaning. Women do appreciate those qualities but many of them also seem to be turned off by eagerness.
From personal experience, they like to imagine you've come to a (very) slow realisation that she's the most wonderful woman who ever existed (even if you already knew that from the moment you met her and she took your breath away).
Honesty is wonderful in a long-term relationship, but to get that relationship sometimes you have to pretend to be less interested than you are. I know it seems odd to us men, but we seem odd to them too. I imagine there's all kinds of things they do to smooth the waters with us.
I hate saying this because it sounds like a game. Maybe a better way of looking at it is patience. Make the smallest possible indication that you're interested, even if it seems too small to notice. Just a second of eye contact, that kind of thing. If you've gone too small, be slightly bolder. There's no such thing as too small, though. Too little and she won't notice (so you can try again). Too much and you get a negative reaction that's difficult to recover from.
I wish it was as simple as noticing a girl, liking her, and just telling her the things you like about her. In the long-term, it is that simple and you can be honest (thank God). It just doesn't seem to work that way at first.
Wow that seems very complicated. However, I have to agree with pretty much everything you say, although I really wish that it was much simpler. In all honesty, I don't think that I would ever change the way I pursue women, I'm not really interested in anyone currently. I really would appreciate it if I met a girl who was different from what you've described, but I think that your generalization has to truth to it.
Unsure if girl likes me. Am I annoying?
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From personal experience, I think that has become the definition of a creep nowadays. Frankly I'm an honest guy and I've been called a creep several times, much to my dismay.
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Frosties
11 years ago
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That's genuinely dismaying. I've seen your comments on the site and you seem intelligent, honest and well-meaning. Women do appreciate those qualities but many of them also seem to be turned off by eagerness.
From personal experience, they like to imagine you've come to a (very) slow realisation that she's the most wonderful woman who ever existed (even if you already knew that from the moment you met her and she took your breath away).
Honesty is wonderful in a long-term relationship, but to get that relationship sometimes you have to pretend to be less interested than you are. I know it seems odd to us men, but we seem odd to them too. I imagine there's all kinds of things they do to smooth the waters with us.
I hate saying this because it sounds like a game. Maybe a better way of looking at it is patience. Make the smallest possible indication that you're interested, even if it seems too small to notice. Just a second of eye contact, that kind of thing. If you've gone too small, be slightly bolder. There's no such thing as too small, though. Too little and she won't notice (so you can try again). Too much and you get a negative reaction that's difficult to recover from.
I wish it was as simple as noticing a girl, liking her, and just telling her the things you like about her. In the long-term, it is that simple and you can be honest (thank God). It just doesn't seem to work that way at first.
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Anime7
11 years ago
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Wow that seems very complicated. However, I have to agree with pretty much everything you say, although I really wish that it was much simpler. In all honesty, I don't think that I would ever change the way I pursue women, I'm not really interested in anyone currently. I really would appreciate it if I met a girl who was different from what you've described, but I think that your generalization has to truth to it.