Unable to xprss thoughts

Try new things...But slowly :) like steps step 1 step 2 step 3 step 4 etc

both my parents were the same way... I agree with the above to try writing in a diary... If not talk it out to someone u trust. If u dont do this now itll get worse when your older. Try to lessen your contact with your mom if she seems to be the root of your problems.

write in a diary.
talk out loud to yourself when you're alone. ...like in your car.
be your own best friend. ...love yourself.
don't be afraid to be yourself. ...all the time.
it's NEVER too late to change.
you can be whoever YOU want to be WHENever you want.
surround yourself with people who are happy and comfortable with themselves.
soon you will learn who you want to be.
and if other people don't like that, fuck them. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. LIVE IT.
good luck! :)

ur mom's not responsible... this kind of suppression from force stays till late teen years... but not into adolescence...

i mean my house is like that too... do this do that, don't go out on bikes, drive safely, don't fuck around with gals, don't waste time, this is a crucial period in ur life and etc...

see if u had to disagree, you'd've done it by now, like on small things as, mom i won't eat this, i won't go to that relatives',i WILL be late tonight etc

but its embedded deep in u naturally... its not ur mom's fault...or maybe she really was hitler kind. if not, then definitely its ur nature.

are u cancerian by any chance? that may tell the answer..

i'm one too, not able to express my ideas and feelings.. well in words. in my case nonverbal communicaton is vey important, coz the faces i make tell ppl around me more than the words say to them.

If you really don't want to try therapy, then I guess you're going to have to fix yourself. I guess my recommendation would be to start small and try to keep upping the amount you are expressing. Perhaps if would help to communicate in different ways (i.e. doing it via email). Or start a blog and gradually make people aware of it. I think you should still do as much as you can in person, though.

I would say considering your upbringing it's to be expected. You have to be comfortable with expressing those thoughts to yourself before you can share them with others so start with a journal or blog that you keep private or anonymous and get in the habit of writing about every day stuff and feelings/thoughts you have. Then slowly pick someone you trust to start having those conversations with. Don't just start blurting them out to someone before you are ready...if you're all awkward it will just be harder to overcome.