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A girl broke up with me because I said many harsh things to her. I said sorry, and I really regret it. She forgave me, but she says we can't be friends anymore.
I was just wondering whether I am a horrible person, or what I did was a mistake that I can overcome. I regret to this day the things I said to her.
She has the right to decide she doesn't want to be with you. That may seem unfair to you, but that's the way it is.
Sometimes, apologies just aren't enough. For example, I've always found people who apologize after using the N-word very unconvincing. Saying sorry is easy, but the fact is that they have demonstrated how their mind works, and you don't change that with an apology.
Honesty in relationships is good, but you have to learn when and how to be honest. You've just had a lesson in that.
It's possible you are indeed a horrible scumbag, or that at least you treated your girlfriend as a horrible scumbag would. But the fact that you regret your choices indicates that you have an interest in learning how to behave better. Reflect on how you could have handled things with more consideration for her feelings, think about what the things you said indicated about how you see women, and move on.
Oh She surely has the right! I actually much prefer if she doesn't come back as the relationship was quite dysfunctional. I didn't ask to complain about her or something. I only wondered if this is something people usually do go through.
I see women as equal. My problem with her had little to do with her gender. The reason I said mean things to her is because I felt frustrated dealing with her mental illness and emotional coldness.
So your harshness worked - intentionally or not - and you ended up with the conclusion you wanted. I guess that's a win.
The only possible issue I can see is that, if this girl is part of your wider social circle - if you're still in school, for example - then you being harsh with her, however justified it may be, could cause wider problems. Girls talk about guys, and if she thinks you're a dick, she probably won't hesitate to tell other girls this. Maybe their view of her will be the same as yours and they'll disregard her opinions; maybe they'll have second thoughts about ever getting involved with you.
My experience is that, while it can feel good to lash out and it's difficult not to in some situations, it's generally better to try to stay civil, and just walk away from people you don't want to be with.
Hahahaha well she already started talking about me on her FB account. She wrote a post where she says "Fuck a certain manipulative person" after the blocked me. But that's not rally a problem since we live in different provinces, and I am traveling to another country to finish my studies soon enough.
Life is full of regrets, maybes & what ifs. Give her some space & talk to her one final time. If she isn't receptive chalk it down to experience & move on.
Horrible person probably not, maybe just somebody who needs to learn to walk away before saying anything that may offend.
Eh ! not enough info to decide whether you were a douche or she was a douche.I would try to give her some space and then make up with her one last time.
My experience is..Only three people tell the truth: Little kids, drunk people, and those who are angry. If you were angry at her and said things, guess what? They were true. We all let loose when not being nice.
I broke up with a woman at her apartment, and finally told her that I "Found her unclean..And not just the apartment". She flipped her lid, screaming, yelling, etc, and repeated "What did you say??". To my calm, still angry but calm, "You heard me".
Not breakup, but, woman I'm currently dating off and on, and I semi-went at it in a parking garage when I mentioned her talking to seemingly every other guy at the bar, including going out for a smoke with one (to his credit, he did ask me if it was ok, and she did leave her phone), not liking it and feeling disrespected. She didn't like that, saying "You don't want me to be me", which set me off a little, especially since I'd witnessed this several times.
I told her "I DO want you to be you..Just not acting like a slut every time we go out! If I'm going to deliver you to other guys, I want to get paid for it! Stop putting yourself out there like a whore".. Was it nice? No..But, in my anger, I was telling her the truth, my real feelings. I was tired of this behavior, of being with her yet, social butterfly or not, having it appear she was open (legged) and available to anyone present. Yet, at the same time, she's always telling me how much she loves me, knows I love her, etc.
We still date, go out, and are great together, when we're either alone, or at least not around groups of other guys. I did tell her one night, as she commented on a bouncer's tattoo, saying "I like your ink", in her soft, sensual voice that drives me, and other guys, crazy.."Fine. Then let him pay the bill and take you home..I'll fucking leave". That was another night I should have let loose, but didn't, in full. Sometimes, just getting angry and telling the truth helps us.
Fuck her. Women are bitchy and self centered. Good for doing housework and getting fucked.
most of the times i do say harsh things to people i love too. not that i mean it or i don't care about them at all but only because i am very angry at the moment. i think we should try to learn ways to calm ourselves and maybe discuss things inside us to come up with the best move for a good reltionship.
its perfectly fine to be harsh and honest with a woman when you are done with her not before . being honest with a woman is something they can't understand. you probably said things i say to my son , he doesn't like it but he knows how much i love him. you can't have that understanding with a wife or a girlfriend . now you know. are you horrible ? probably not. women , girl friends can be incredible horrible to you and others but pointing that out will get you dropped. its not your job to raise a women into a respectable human, that was her dad's job. good luck with the next female . who knows , someday you can raise a woman or three.