My parents always constantly harassed me about how messy my room was so I never cleaned it out of spite, and because my mother was constantly snooping through my personal stuff. I actually used to have a clean living space before my mother started snooping. It was a living Hell, and to this day whenever I can't find something I feel for a moment like my mom has confiscated it in the back of my head. I'm 48 years old and my mother is 79 years old. I have had awful trust issues, and more than my share of mommy issues all of my life. I wasn't into drugs, or sex or anything except for new wave music, ballet and my pets when I was a teenager. I was a good kid, who tended to be depressed, anxious and made bad grades in math.
I honestly applaud you for respecting your daughters' personal space. As a woman who feels that her mother's controlling behavior has wreaked havoc upon her life I think what you're doing is alright as long as they aren't getting into trouble, or doing drugs, or whatever else.
I do think it would probably help for them to learn to clean their rooms, but I think it should be more of a positive reinforcement thing than anything else. I think it's good to give a young person an incentive to do something like clean his or her room for instance rather than bully them about it like my mother did.
I did eventually get some lame answer from my mother about her snooping ways a couple of years ago, she said, "you have to watch the quiet ones". Basically my mom made my life Hell as a teenager, and young adult, because I was more quiet, and introverted than my younger sister, and I tended not to confide in her. Here I am today, almost 50, and still fucked up in head, because of that mess.
Sorry for the crazy rant. I guess I was just sharing my life experience around this stuff. I really do appreciate you asking this question.
To parents: do you force your kids to keep their rooms clean?
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My parents always constantly harassed me about how messy my room was so I never cleaned it out of spite, and because my mother was constantly snooping through my personal stuff. I actually used to have a clean living space before my mother started snooping. It was a living Hell, and to this day whenever I can't find something I feel for a moment like my mom has confiscated it in the back of my head. I'm 48 years old and my mother is 79 years old. I have had awful trust issues, and more than my share of mommy issues all of my life. I wasn't into drugs, or sex or anything except for new wave music, ballet and my pets when I was a teenager. I was a good kid, who tended to be depressed, anxious and made bad grades in math.
I honestly applaud you for respecting your daughters' personal space. As a woman who feels that her mother's controlling behavior has wreaked havoc upon her life I think what you're doing is alright as long as they aren't getting into trouble, or doing drugs, or whatever else.
I do think it would probably help for them to learn to clean their rooms, but I think it should be more of a positive reinforcement thing than anything else. I think it's good to give a young person an incentive to do something like clean his or her room for instance rather than bully them about it like my mother did.
I did eventually get some lame answer from my mother about her snooping ways a couple of years ago, she said, "you have to watch the quiet ones". Basically my mom made my life Hell as a teenager, and young adult, because I was more quiet, and introverted than my younger sister, and I tended not to confide in her. Here I am today, almost 50, and still fucked up in head, because of that mess.
Sorry for the crazy rant. I guess I was just sharing my life experience around this stuff. I really do appreciate you asking this question.