To get kicked out for this?

I think you were quite right to ask to discuss the matter you had an argument about after the heat had cooled. I think that's a very sensible and mature way to deal with such things. Relationships don't survive if tensions and disagreements are allowed to bubble away under the surface like a magma chamber under a volcano.

In fact, I broke off with a woman who was incredible in the sack and had many other positive qualities just because of this; I knew things about me bothered her, but she simply refused to talk about them, and I was sure it would all blow up sooner or later, so I cut my loses.

I particularly liked this bit in your OP:

"...she tells me I can come to her apartment if I want... She also tells me that it was wrong for me to come. I point out to her that she is the one who told me I can come, but she says she was hinting that I shouldn't come, and I should have figured it out."

Yeah, man, WTF is wrong with you? Did you forget to switch on your Reading Between The Lines app or forget to recharge your mind-reading helmet?

Seriously, if that's actually what she said, that's frigging hilarious.

I have heard of particularly stupid and needy women saying stuff like, "You don't _have_ to come over tonight, if you don't want to." Which actually means, "If you don't come over tonight, you clearly don't care about me."

But to switch that around so, "Come over tonight," actually means, "Don't you dare come over tonight!" is really quite creative.

Whatever is going on in her head, there's clearly a failure to communicate. It's possible some of the fault lies on both sides, but it seems her style of communication isn't one you can easily read, so it's better for both of you if she can go off in search of a boyfriend who's psychic.

Or maybe she can grow up and learn how to express her wishes clearly, and how to deal with conflict in a healthy way.