To be so annoyed by gf

Annoying the crap out of me when she's over my place she asks me what she can do when I'm cleaning the house. I ask her what she would like to do and she says she wants to be helpful. I have been telling her to go chill out and relax or something... I think I'm a bastard I for some reason expect she just find something to do I don't understand why I'd need to instruct a 37 year old woman on how to clean a house. That's not the only thing she constantly irritates me and she's not trying to she says such stupid things and repeats herself allot I don't know what my problem is I am trying to tolerate her but I snapped at her last time she was over because she kept asking me if I was okay and I lost it and I didn't speak to her nicely at all. What I gonna do?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 23 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Well its not her place maybe she wants to ask you because she doesnt know what you're comfortable with her moving or what you have already cleaned etc!...Some people are really picky about what they let others do in their place and it's normal to ask someone what they need help with. I'm easily annoyed too but damn I would prefer it if a partner asked me what they could clean instead of starting to touch all my stuff and move it around. That's just me though

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    • Ur right and I'm basically OCD about cleaning she would have asked because I'm so meticulous about everything, I'm a jerk..

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      • Doesn't make you a jerk to be that way but you should definietely explain to her how you feel and not just tell her that she's being annoying because that's rude, plus she won't know how exactly she's being annoying and what she can do instead.

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  • She just wants to help, dude. Be nice to your girlfriend.

    But I also have to agree with another user that you should have your cleaning done before she gets there. Why not spend her visits doing things you can't do without her instead of things you can do any given day?

    If you're going to do things you can do without her but with her instead, why not make it something like playing a game together or watching something? If it's going to be cleaning, let her participate. She's got no idea where the fuck your shit goes. She's respecting you by not acting like she already lives there and has some level of say-so on where shit goes.

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    • I had a whole nother bitch clean my entire house while I was at work before didn't ask her to she was staying at the crib and just did it. Hence I think my new bitch a bit... something beginning with R.

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    • The cleaning was done, but I keep the place super clean and as she stayed for a week, cleaning needs to be done constantly its a never ending job.

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  • She ain't the girl for you.

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  • Ur fuckin up man. If u decide to move her in shes gonna bitch bout havin 2 do 100% of the cleanin 100% of the time if u give her an opening like this and teach her u cleanin is normal

    She will be able to say shit like "u used 2 say u LIKED cleanin. Pick up ur own damn mess" and shell kinda be right

    Right now she is basically askin u 2 go ahead and train her how 2 clean ur place so u dont have 2 yell at her 4 not cleanin well enough when u move her in. Ur fuckin up with a good girl

    U need 2 just sit back and relax and point her in the right direction 2 clean each thing while u chill. Shes so down. U r fuckin up bad

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    • Agreed, I'm going to put her ass to work and explain to her exactly how I want shit done last time she washed dishes she didn't clean the back of anything or inside of glasses properly and I had to wash everything again, I'm going to make sure she try again next time she's over I've expressed to her that I didn't like the quality of the work she did I'm going to put her back 2 it and make her wash everything again if it doesn't pass inspection this time.

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  • Perhaps you are not thinking this through...

    Perhaps you would like her to clean house dressed as a sexy school girl, a nurse, or a variety of other things...
    ( https://www.yandy.com/halloween-costumes )
    or maybe not much at all, if anything...

    Also, I suggest that you both read: The 5 Love Languages, by: Gary Chapman. That's likely to really improve your communications and future. Please allow the other person to read it at a different pace than you do as that is common.

    I suggest getting 2 books 1 for her and 1 for you.

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    • Thankx baby u really helped me on this one for real I already got the ball rolling I just text her the link to the main site and told her "So babe I've decided since you like to be helpful, I would like to buy you some formal cleaning attire and as a gesture of kindness I've decided u can pick out what you would like to wear." She told me "I can pick and she'll like it" I love you dude ur a fucking life saver.

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      • Good for you; and glad I could help: You might wish to pick out 2 or even perhaps 3 outfits... Variety does add spice for at least some of us ;)

        Note to be very careful on sizing from that site. Pay attention to the sizing charts and the comments from people on how well things fit, and don't be too surprised if you have to return some things for a different size.

        Have fun with this...

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    • My gf is a lesbain so I'm not sure about the book, but this formal cleaning attire is lit, I'm thinking u are spot on I'm going to buy something sexy and next time it's time to be helpful I'm going to tell her first ur going to need to dress appropriately for the job at hand and I'm telling her to put it on, she's shy so I might have to help her I'll tell her its that or she's doing it naked if she says no which I assume she may I'm going to explain to her that if she can't do a good job and figure it out on her own that she can at least look good while she's fuckin shit up.

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      • I suggest you reconsider the book. It matters not the gender of sexuality. There is a difference between being romantic, sexy, and being a couple in real love and being able to communicate that properly with your partner (and your original post indicates to me that you have some communication differences).

        This book showed both me and my wife why most of our past relationships failed (a comment I have heard from many people who have read the book) - and how to cement our relationship moving forward if everything else worked out: We read this book while we were in the internet contact stage as she lived in Ukraine at the time and I was here in the USA.

        As fun as the sexy outfits will be... this book will likely be far more important to your future relationship - and will likely solidify it for life if everything else is aligned.

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  • Perhaps you should do your cleaning when she’s not there. If I was in a relationship with someone I didn’t live with and I put myself out to go to his house I would be pretty pissed off if he spent the whole time doing his cleaning. It’s good that you keep your house nice and don’t expect your live out girlfriend to do your cleaning when she comes round, but a bit of forward planning to do the cleaning at a different time would be good.

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    • I think he just kinda likes cleanin so hes doin all he can while he can since shes gonna be doin all of it when she moves in

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    • It was clean when she showed up she stayed for a week, thats probably why she asked what she should do her place is disgusting I cleaned it last time I was there because her place makes me sick when I stay over cause I'm
      allergic to her cats, the dust or just the state of it. She asked me how to clean a window sill sometime after I asked her if she ever cleaned her window sill, she said no, and I said well its been cleaned within 9 months before I did it and she said her mother cleaned her place when she had a mental episode and ended up in the hospital.

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  • My wife and son really irritate me alot. Im a pretty irritable person. I get what you mean by the "are you ok?" question.

    Idk I guess thats part of being in a relationship yall get on eachothers nerves

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    • Boy am I glad to hear that because at the final straw it turned into "of course I'm fucking okay!"... onto a rant about how there will never be a day that I'm not okay like how dare u ask me if I'm okay, don't you ever ask me that shit again I'm fine.

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      • Sounds like you gotta learn to communicate better with her so it doesnt turn into that. Me and my wife tell eachother all the time "quit doing that" or "dont say that". Thats one of the benefits of being close with someone for awhile it gets easier to tell them to stop than it would be with say a coworker

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  • People in a good relationship aren't constantly annoyed by each other, but may still be occasionally annoyed. Try suggesting something she can actually do like play on the computer or something. Also maybe she feels like shes invalid if she doesn't partake in the chores so you could suggest specific tasks she can do. But also make it clear she don't have to be doing something all the time and sometimes it actually is better to shut up and not bother people while they're busy. That has to be balanced with both parts still getting to talk to each other and be heard other times.

    I kinda relate to "not knowing what to do" because I'm not very good at cleaning if I have to think out where things belong.

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    • I did end up saying 2 her that I like cleaning because it relaxes me but it's not relaxing when ur annoying me. I wish I had have said it the way u put it now.

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