I find it hard to believe you don't remember what you did unless it was a very long time ago or you were very young, but if you genuinely can't then I don't think it was a very effective reprimand. It sounds like an effective way to instil behaviour in someone, but I don't think it would make me very co-operative if my parents tried to take all my things unless I did something serious. I'd probably spend a lot more time out of the house if this happened to me; I don't think it would change my behaviour very much. Then again, I consider myself very resistant to people trying to change my behaviour (even to the point where resistance isn't in my best interests).
Yeah, my parents tried to do this to me for getting bad grades and acting out at school. I had a serious discipline problem as a child and this is how my parents punished me.
At some point, I think I got used to it to where I was used to not having sheets or having much else in my room but the bare basics and I got so used to being grounded that I just became accustomed to never leaving the house.
I got used to having to be careful to be in any other part of the house but my room, I got used to being yelled at and to being reprimanded for any little offense and I got used to not having a social life because I couldn't leave the house when I wasn't at school. Eventually I became a recluse, for years I did nothing but stay in my room and read or sleep.
It wasn't until my Junior year that I became comfortable with being out of my house and being out of my room, period. For years, I hardly ever went into the living room or kitchen unless I was cleaning it or trying to eat something. It was strange living with my Aunt and Uncle and not having to ask to get something to eat or to be cautious in any other part of the house but my room and the concept of my being able to just leave the house and go do something I want to do that doesn't involve school or work is still a bit tricky for me.
I would say that this is an effective form of punishment for major offenses, but using the same punishment over and over again means it probably isn't working and a different approach needs to be taken. However, if she doesn't remember what she did, then I don't see how it could be effective. I can understand her mentality though, sometimes I couldn't remember exactly what I did.
What was done to you is Unethical and most likely illegal.
A parent or guardian has a responsibility to provide the basics of life and the safety, health and well-being of a child. This will vary, from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. You should have challenged them on legal and Ethical grounds.
Grounding is Unethical, akin to imprisonment. It depends on where you live. As I had stated previously, a parent or guardian has a responsibility for a child's safety, so they could restrict your movements. They are, however, under no legal or Ethical obligation to provide you with transportation (like to a friends house, store, etc.) unless the transportation is necessary and the community would deem it unsafe for you to be on your own.
It can often be a difficult question, as to what are the "necessities of life", especially with our growing reliance on technology.
Being yelled at repeatedly, is verbal abuse, and is Unethical, and in some places illegal.
Now, a parent or guardian can Ethically and legally deprive a child of things, but they must prove ownership and not deprive a child of the necessities of life. Even if they had purchased the item for you previously , that does not give them ownership.
To correct a child's behaviour, it has been proven that a reward system is far more effective, than one of punishment.
Haha, it sounds nice but I didn't know much about law and ethics when I was under 16.
Not to mention, my Father was active duty military and a Gulf War vet. I had a lot of teachers question his discipline methods and when he would talk to them, he'd pull out his "I'm in a military and I'm a vet" card and he was automatically promoted to sainthood status, or the closest one could get to it.
My father was a smooth talking son of a bitch who had everyone convinced that he was a morally sound man, serving his country, with a daughter that had horrible mental and disciplinary problems.
Everyone in his family believes that he was a great Father and that my horrible, evil bitch of a Mom has and always will stand between him and the kids he loves so much and that me and my horrible insolence is the reason why he won't call me or bother to pay me a visit, although he lives just a state away.
Yes, and this is why we need to teach children about law and Ethics. I was fortunate that my mother was a lawyer, and that I was able to read law books.
We should have available, good civil attorneys for children who are experiencing problems similar to yours.
If you know someone in a similar situation, don't go to the police or to the teachers, find a good civil attorney. They will be able to see through the facade.
When I was an older teenager, and was involved in the babysitter mafia, the babysitters (who were about 13 at the time) had lawyers advising them, free of charge.
this was my punishment
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How old were you when this happened?
What did you do?
I find it hard to believe you don't remember what you did unless it was a very long time ago or you were very young, but if you genuinely can't then I don't think it was a very effective reprimand. It sounds like an effective way to instil behaviour in someone, but I don't think it would make me very co-operative if my parents tried to take all my things unless I did something serious. I'd probably spend a lot more time out of the house if this happened to me; I don't think it would change my behaviour very much. Then again, I consider myself very resistant to people trying to change my behaviour (even to the point where resistance isn't in my best interests).
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NeuroNeptunian
10 years ago
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Yeah, my parents tried to do this to me for getting bad grades and acting out at school. I had a serious discipline problem as a child and this is how my parents punished me.
At some point, I think I got used to it to where I was used to not having sheets or having much else in my room but the bare basics and I got so used to being grounded that I just became accustomed to never leaving the house.
I got used to having to be careful to be in any other part of the house but my room, I got used to being yelled at and to being reprimanded for any little offense and I got used to not having a social life because I couldn't leave the house when I wasn't at school. Eventually I became a recluse, for years I did nothing but stay in my room and read or sleep.
It wasn't until my Junior year that I became comfortable with being out of my house and being out of my room, period. For years, I hardly ever went into the living room or kitchen unless I was cleaning it or trying to eat something. It was strange living with my Aunt and Uncle and not having to ask to get something to eat or to be cautious in any other part of the house but my room and the concept of my being able to just leave the house and go do something I want to do that doesn't involve school or work is still a bit tricky for me.
I would say that this is an effective form of punishment for major offenses, but using the same punishment over and over again means it probably isn't working and a different approach needs to be taken. However, if she doesn't remember what she did, then I don't see how it could be effective. I can understand her mentality though, sometimes I couldn't remember exactly what I did.
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suckonthis9
10 years ago
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What was done to you is Unethical and most likely illegal.
A parent or guardian has a responsibility to provide the basics of life and the safety, health and well-being of a child. This will vary, from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. You should have challenged them on legal and Ethical grounds.
Grounding is Unethical, akin to imprisonment. It depends on where you live. As I had stated previously, a parent or guardian has a responsibility for a child's safety, so they could restrict your movements. They are, however, under no legal or Ethical obligation to provide you with transportation (like to a friends house, store, etc.) unless the transportation is necessary and the community would deem it unsafe for you to be on your own.
It can often be a difficult question, as to what are the "necessities of life", especially with our growing reliance on technology.
Being yelled at repeatedly, is verbal abuse, and is Unethical, and in some places illegal.
Now, a parent or guardian can Ethically and legally deprive a child of things, but they must prove ownership and not deprive a child of the necessities of life. Even if they had purchased the item for you previously , that does not give them ownership.
To correct a child's behaviour, it has been proven that a reward system is far more effective, than one of punishment.
--
NeuroNeptunian
10 years ago
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Haha, it sounds nice but I didn't know much about law and ethics when I was under 16.
Not to mention, my Father was active duty military and a Gulf War vet. I had a lot of teachers question his discipline methods and when he would talk to them, he'd pull out his "I'm in a military and I'm a vet" card and he was automatically promoted to sainthood status, or the closest one could get to it.
My father was a smooth talking son of a bitch who had everyone convinced that he was a morally sound man, serving his country, with a daughter that had horrible mental and disciplinary problems.
Everyone in his family believes that he was a great Father and that my horrible, evil bitch of a Mom has and always will stand between him and the kids he loves so much and that me and my horrible insolence is the reason why he won't call me or bother to pay me a visit, although he lives just a state away.
Douche.
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suckonthis9
10 years ago
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Yes, and this is why we need to teach children about law and Ethics. I was fortunate that my mother was a lawyer, and that I was able to read law books.
We should have available, good civil attorneys for children who are experiencing problems similar to yours.
If you know someone in a similar situation, don't go to the police or to the teachers, find a good civil attorney. They will be able to see through the facade.
When I was an older teenager, and was involved in the babysitter mafia, the babysitters (who were about 13 at the time) had lawyers advising them, free of charge.