When it comes down to it, erections are pretty fragile things. The sexual response of guys tends to be more mechanical and a lot more straight-forward than that of women, but once a guy is out of his hormone-saturated youth, erections can fade unexpectedly for all sorts of reasons.
The problem is that once it happens, it's more likely to happen again. Paradoxically, an erection occurs when muscles at the base of the penis _relax_. Any sort of emotional and physiological stress, including anxiety about not getting hard or losing the hard, can result in those muscles stubbornly remaining tensed up or tightening when there is an erection.
Women will usually reassure a man that it doesn't matter if he can't get an erection or he loses it, but it's also common for women to feel deep down that it's an indication that they've done something wrong or the guy doesn't find them attractive. And of course, while a woman mocking a guy for his erectile dysfunction is highly likely to make it happen again, her reassuring him that it doesn't really matter rarely carries much weight with the guy in the first place, since most of us consider our dicks a vital part of our identity, and we feel that the ability to get hard is a crucial sign of our masculinity.
I obviously don't know how perceptive your guy is, but if he gets the idea that you're taking this personally and worrying about it, that may well help form a vicious cycle, with your worries and his making further failures more likely.
I suggest you try to hold on to the idea that whatever happens to his dick is due to stuff going on in his head. There's a limited amount you can do to affect that, so it's not all on you.
You could consider demoting PIV sex to something you also do, rather than being conventional and making it the main course of whatever you do when you're being intimate. I know from experience that it is possible for a guy to have a lot of fun and enjoy sex a lot even if his penis isn't cooperating for some reason, and it's very possible for a woman to enjoy sessions like that (as long as she's not fixated on wondering why he doesn't have a hard dick).
If you were to make PIV sex an optional extra, the disappearance of the expectation that he will get hard and stay hard might reduce his (conscious or unconscious) performance anxiety, and it might make the appearance of a solid erection more likely.
This guy lost his erection and blamed Alexa
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When it comes down to it, erections are pretty fragile things. The sexual response of guys tends to be more mechanical and a lot more straight-forward than that of women, but once a guy is out of his hormone-saturated youth, erections can fade unexpectedly for all sorts of reasons.
The problem is that once it happens, it's more likely to happen again. Paradoxically, an erection occurs when muscles at the base of the penis _relax_. Any sort of emotional and physiological stress, including anxiety about not getting hard or losing the hard, can result in those muscles stubbornly remaining tensed up or tightening when there is an erection.
Women will usually reassure a man that it doesn't matter if he can't get an erection or he loses it, but it's also common for women to feel deep down that it's an indication that they've done something wrong or the guy doesn't find them attractive. And of course, while a woman mocking a guy for his erectile dysfunction is highly likely to make it happen again, her reassuring him that it doesn't really matter rarely carries much weight with the guy in the first place, since most of us consider our dicks a vital part of our identity, and we feel that the ability to get hard is a crucial sign of our masculinity.
I obviously don't know how perceptive your guy is, but if he gets the idea that you're taking this personally and worrying about it, that may well help form a vicious cycle, with your worries and his making further failures more likely.
I suggest you try to hold on to the idea that whatever happens to his dick is due to stuff going on in his head. There's a limited amount you can do to affect that, so it's not all on you.
You could consider demoting PIV sex to something you also do, rather than being conventional and making it the main course of whatever you do when you're being intimate. I know from experience that it is possible for a guy to have a lot of fun and enjoy sex a lot even if his penis isn't cooperating for some reason, and it's very possible for a woman to enjoy sessions like that (as long as she's not fixated on wondering why he doesn't have a hard dick).
If you were to make PIV sex an optional extra, the disappearance of the expectation that he will get hard and stay hard might reduce his (conscious or unconscious) performance anxiety, and it might make the appearance of a solid erection more likely.