This guy lost his erection and blamed alexa

12 Comments

I was having sex with a guy and he went soft all of a sudden. He said it was because I kept talking to Alexa and changing the music. He also said it was because my dog came in the room and made eye contact with him?? I think I am just not sexy enough. Is it normal for guys to lose erections over things like this? We are normally great together and have good sex. I have gained a bit of weight and feel ugly now. Why did he go soft?

My man just wasn't perfect for once, give him a break 9
Pets ruin the mood often 10
I am just not sexy enough 5
Alexa is creepy and needs to leave 9
Whiskey dick 5
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Cutie12345
    4 years ago

    Why were you talking to Alexa during sex

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  • Handyman
    4 years ago

    If you rather prefer Alexa don't bother with sex.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Yeah i think that was a mistake, we had intermissions though to hydrate and rest

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      • Handyman
        4 years ago

        Also remember woman can have multiple orgasms rather easily, where men have limits with time increases every time.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    I had a hard time picking between Alexa and dog.

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  • brutus
    4 years ago

    Alexa needs to go.

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    • Nikclaire
      4 years ago

      This

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  • whynotnow
    4 years ago

    how old is he? Older guys can potentially go soft no matter sexy you are.

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    You say you were having sex with "a guy", so I assume you weren't in a relationship with him, but it was just a hookup. In a relationship, once you get past the initial phase where everything is exciting and new, erections can become more fragile, but it sounds like you should have had the benefit of newness in this case.

    If you were more interested in what music was playing than in what you two were doing and you were constantly interacting with Alexa rather than him, then it sounds like you really weren't into the sex. Some guys will lose interest in sex if the woman they're having it with makes it clear he's not doing much for her.

    As for the dog, it was just another focus-breaker on top of you chattering away to your Amazon friend as you tried to decide what music you wanted to listen to in order to pass the time as he fucked you. If he wasn't familiar with the beast and he had some traumatic experiences with dogs in his past, that alone might be an erection-killer. You're pretty damn vulnerable if you're naked and engaged in sex.

    You also mention that you feel that you're ugly since you've put on some weight. Us guys can be very insensitive to the subtleties of female emotions, but I think most of us find a woman sexy if she feels in herself that she is sexy. The flip side is that if a woman feels ugly and unsexy, she's less sexy to us too.

    Frankly, if I'd been the guy in the situation you describe, I would have decided that I just couldn't be bothered either. If I feel the physical need to get off, I'm perfectly capable of finding some porn and jerking off. As far as I'm concerned, having sex with a woman who's not interested in having sex is way too much work and not worth the effort.

    Loose some weight if you feel that's what you really need to do in order to feel more attractive, or work on accepting yourself as you are. Either leave Alexa out of the room completely, or make up a sexy-time playlist and stick to it. Close the door and keep the dog out of the room when you're having sex. When you're having sex, focus on the guy and expect him to focus on you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      We are relationship adjacent, friends with benefits, maybe moving towards a more serious relationship. I wasn't constantly interacting with Alexa, it was between sex, while we both needed breaks. Youre probably right about me feeling unsexy, and my negative energy being the turnoff.

      My main concern is should I care a lot that my partner easily "breaks a bone", pun absolutely intended.. from simple distractions (he has no dog trauma). He is just brushing it off as nothing but I am worried about it and keep thinking about it. I really like this guuy and could see us going forward.

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      • Boojum
        4 years ago

        When it comes down to it, erections are pretty fragile things. The sexual response of guys tends to be more mechanical and a lot more straight-forward than that of women, but once a guy is out of his hormone-saturated youth, erections can fade unexpectedly for all sorts of reasons.

        The problem is that once it happens, it's more likely to happen again. Paradoxically, an erection occurs when muscles at the base of the penis _relax_. Any sort of emotional and physiological stress, including anxiety about not getting hard or losing the hard, can result in those muscles stubbornly remaining tensed up or tightening when there is an erection.

        Women will usually reassure a man that it doesn't matter if he can't get an erection or he loses it, but it's also common for women to feel deep down that it's an indication that they've done something wrong or the guy doesn't find them attractive. And of course, while a woman mocking a guy for his erectile dysfunction is highly likely to make it happen again, her reassuring him that it doesn't really matter rarely carries much weight with the guy in the first place, since most of us consider our dicks a vital part of our identity, and we feel that the ability to get hard is a crucial sign of our masculinity.

        I obviously don't know how perceptive your guy is, but if he gets the idea that you're taking this personally and worrying about it, that may well help form a vicious cycle, with your worries and his making further failures more likely.

        I suggest you try to hold on to the idea that whatever happens to his dick is due to stuff going on in his head. There's a limited amount you can do to affect that, so it's not all on you.

        You could consider demoting PIV sex to something you also do, rather than being conventional and making it the main course of whatever you do when you're being intimate. I know from experience that it is possible for a guy to have a lot of fun and enjoy sex a lot even if his penis isn't cooperating for some reason, and it's very possible for a woman to enjoy sessions like that (as long as she's not fixated on wondering why he doesn't have a hard dick).

        If you were to make PIV sex an optional extra, the disappearance of the expectation that he will get hard and stay hard might reduce his (conscious or unconscious) performance anxiety, and it might make the appearance of a solid erection more likely.

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  • Nikclaire
    4 years ago

    Normal but Alexa?? Enough with that.

    Yes my dog had taken my attention before. Dogs have a way of demanding attention.

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