You seek for validation outside of yourself instead of inside. Your sense of self-worth is based on what your friends say or don't say, how hyped they are for your birthday and so on. That path ultimately leads to misery.
You hate yourself because you don't do anything. The person who doesn't seem to care if you die is you. You can't trick yourself, you have to make yourself someone worth loving. Improve yourself: lose weight, improve a skill, study harder—these are the sorts of things that build your self-esteem, and protect you from depression.
Things that are about me make me depressed.
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You seek for validation outside of yourself instead of inside. Your sense of self-worth is based on what your friends say or don't say, how hyped they are for your birthday and so on. That path ultimately leads to misery.
You hate yourself because you don't do anything. The person who doesn't seem to care if you die is you. You can't trick yourself, you have to make yourself someone worth loving. Improve yourself: lose weight, improve a skill, study harder—these are the sorts of things that build your self-esteem, and protect you from depression.