Sorry, I forgot to adress your suggestion. Waiting for him to binge on women in order to confront him seems difficult, since he already went so much over the boundaries with this.
I decided to tell my mother. Upon hearing that something had happened she said. "Someone's been having sex." And when she heard the rest: "Someone we know has been having a good time." I thought she would be devasted, but she wasn't that shocked, really. After taking some time to think it over, she told me that my father has always been a sex addict. And since she hasn't had the same interest in it, she's accepted that he had a number of lovers and mistresses throughout the years, as long as he was discrete about it. But she never would have thought he would do something like that in front of his son, with someone both inexperienced and young. I told her how he doesn't exactly shun taking a girls virginity from her. She asked me if I still had feelings for the girl, and I had to answer yes.
So what happened was that she called for a meeting with everyone involved, and yes, it was a pretty embarrassing. My father admitted they had been "making love" and that he had made me watch. His interest in it had been purely sexual, but we had agreed to what happened, and enjoyed it to varying degrees. My girlfriend said she had been overwhelmed by an older man, and so she let it happen. It had felt both painful and humiliating for her, but she also got some pleasure out of it. But mostly she'd felt guilty. So he was made to apologize for forcing us into a situation we couldn't control, for being so explicit sexually and for the pain she had felt during the act. Lastly, he apologized for sleeping with my girlfriend. It was agreed it was a one time thing happening under special cirumstances, and that it wouldn't happen again. My mother added that to see this in a positive light, this could be a learning experience for all of us.
My mother stressed that we should pursue whatever we wanted with each other, and not let any of this influence what happens between us. Yeah, awkward. I don't know what I want to happen, but at least we have some closure. Being intimate with her still feels kind of weird.
The issue of having a sex addicted father
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Sorry, I forgot to adress your suggestion. Waiting for him to binge on women in order to confront him seems difficult, since he already went so much over the boundaries with this.
I decided to tell my mother. Upon hearing that something had happened she said. "Someone's been having sex." And when she heard the rest: "Someone we know has been having a good time." I thought she would be devasted, but she wasn't that shocked, really. After taking some time to think it over, she told me that my father has always been a sex addict. And since she hasn't had the same interest in it, she's accepted that he had a number of lovers and mistresses throughout the years, as long as he was discrete about it. But she never would have thought he would do something like that in front of his son, with someone both inexperienced and young. I told her how he doesn't exactly shun taking a girls virginity from her. She asked me if I still had feelings for the girl, and I had to answer yes.
So what happened was that she called for a meeting with everyone involved, and yes, it was a pretty embarrassing. My father admitted they had been "making love" and that he had made me watch. His interest in it had been purely sexual, but we had agreed to what happened, and enjoyed it to varying degrees. My girlfriend said she had been overwhelmed by an older man, and so she let it happen. It had felt both painful and humiliating for her, but she also got some pleasure out of it. But mostly she'd felt guilty. So he was made to apologize for forcing us into a situation we couldn't control, for being so explicit sexually and for the pain she had felt during the act. Lastly, he apologized for sleeping with my girlfriend. It was agreed it was a one time thing happening under special cirumstances, and that it wouldn't happen again. My mother added that to see this in a positive light, this could be a learning experience for all of us.
My mother stressed that we should pursue whatever we wanted with each other, and not let any of this influence what happens between us. Yeah, awkward. I don't know what I want to happen, but at least we have some closure. Being intimate with her still feels kind of weird.