The girl that used to take care of me a lot, her brother died

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So I joined a group on 11 th January, 2009. So did this girl. We soon became close, but I had no idea what it meant. She used to take care of me a lot.

Now, I think she already have a boyfriend or maybe its only my thinking. If she has then its okay.

She used to come to me for no reasons, hold my hand and take me to a shop nearby. Then, she used to help me when I was in a lot of problems too.

What should I make out of it?

Then, her brother died.

I didn't attended the funeral and didn't even called her.

Now its already 1 month 1 week nearly and I feel very guilty for no reason at all. what Should I do?

And if I call What should I say? how should I go about all this?

I really want a good piece of advice.

Please help me.

Also, everyone thinks I love this girl but there is nothing of that sort of thing at all. I do keep on thinking of the times she was rather teasing me or showed loving moments to me.

Am I normal. I don't think I am cause I am not able to concentrate without solving all this.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 13 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • jamesnitp
    13 years ago | pl

    She is better off without me, that's why I didn't call.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    what kind if friend are you?? that's horrible that you didn't even call her! she's obviously better off without you.

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  • urgggh
    13 years ago | pl

    Well, it's not abnormal, but it was a little harsh of you. Just message her, let her know you are there for her now, that you're sorry, and you want to help her. Make sure she knows you only did it because you were completely at a loss as to how to help, but you realise now that it was wrong of you.

    Good luck, I hope you manage to keep her as a friend.

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  • wanna.b.ur.destiny
    13 years ago | pl

    Well u should feel guilty!!! I know how she feels my brother passed away five years ago and I had nobody so I turned to drugs. I wanted to die!!!! And I almost did. I woke up in icu from an over dose. See I found my brother dead and he was my bestfriend. Now I have a beauitful son and my son look like my brother see god answered my prayers. Anyway u should call her and tell her ur sry for not being thre in here time of need . And let her do the talking bc she prob. Has alot running through her mind. And just needs and ear to listen.

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  • jean
    13 years ago | pl

    ASSHOLE why did'nt you help her when she needed it.Thats rule#3 in the must do with girls. Call her say you're sorry and tell her you don't deserve her as a friend 'cuz she helped you and you didn't. Next time don't be like that

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    • jamesnitp
      13 years ago | pl

      Because I am not authorized to.
      She already have many friends and all boys. And there a person whom she comes with to the office.
      He is most probably her boyfriend.

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  • Gidget
    13 years ago | pl

    at least write her a letter let her know since u had no idea what to say after her loss that u choose to not say anything at all because u were uncomfortable tell her u feel guilty and give ur deepest apologies for not being there when she needed someone to be

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    You didn't go to the funeral? You should call and tell her ur sorry 4 her loss and u miss her. Tell her she means a lot to u and that its ur turn to help her because shes helped u so muvh

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    • so_damn_unpretty
      13 years ago | pl

      This is good advice! and don't beat yourself up over it like some have commented. You felt awkward and have never been in the situation before but definately make sure she knows that although you didnt attend and havent spoken to her, that she's been in your mind and heart. Be ready for any reaction though, she could be really sad, really closed, or even really angry. People handle death and losing someone in alot of different ways.

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      • jamesnitp
        13 years ago | pl

        NOw, How to?

        I am not having her phone no.
        Then, also, it is nothing too close between us.
        Then, It sounds just stupid to call now.

        Also, I am nowhere linked up with her online too.
        Well but she is in my friends friendlist. Should I send her a friend request of message every one to give her no.

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    • jamesnitp
      13 years ago | pl

      Please tell me what should I say exactly, just as a friend. Because she already have a boyfriend.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    You should feel guilty.

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