All of my mandrills are stored in the far left drawer of my refrigerator, inside of a tupperware sealed with glue made from concrete daffodils. To their right are balloons, also filled with this same cement. They won't float, which I can only interpret to mean that gravity must be broken. I don't know if the bastion of el presidente is responsible or not, but either way, the eggs in the blimps which hang over them reek of sour cookie juice, at least twenty years past their expiry. As my mandrills are currently busy, I'd advise you to see if you can seek out any of your own. Perhaps you could find them in the far right corner of a dollar store, in a cardboard box, waiting to be stocked on the shelves? Or hiding underneath the wisdom tooth of a rebellious hairdresser? Either way, it's important that all of us learn to recycle and save the dolphins, with as many coupons as we can. Thank you.
I say, as I glance up at the yellowish 1/30th moon, more yellowerish than the single tooth of an inbred carnival worker. "Where are the mandrils!?" I demand to the mushrooms growing out of the dirty sock behind the washing machine.
True. There's no ride scarier than the one assembled by transient meth addicts.
My mom looked back into her family lineage & found out that we're descended from a freak show circus midget named peanut. I have carnie blood running through my veins.
I checked my fridge this morning and noticed they have all departed. Where they have gone? I do not know. If you happen to see them hiding in the raindrops dripping from the trees, tell them this important message: "The plastic, one eyebrow, corndog has finally secured the sacred bottled pool water wrapped in the sticky tape of the 1920s! It's finally time to carry out the final deed!" They'll know what it means.
The far left makes me want to vomit
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This post needs cunsiclestick's mandrils.
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Cuntsiclestick
4 years ago
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RoseIsabella
4 years ago
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All of my mandrills are stored in the far left drawer of my refrigerator, inside of a tupperware sealed with glue made from concrete daffodils. To their right are balloons, also filled with this same cement. They won't float, which I can only interpret to mean that gravity must be broken. I don't know if the bastion of el presidente is responsible or not, but either way, the eggs in the blimps which hang over them reek of sour cookie juice, at least twenty years past their expiry. As my mandrills are currently busy, I'd advise you to see if you can seek out any of your own. Perhaps you could find them in the far right corner of a dollar store, in a cardboard box, waiting to be stocked on the shelves? Or hiding underneath the wisdom tooth of a rebellious hairdresser? Either way, it's important that all of us learn to recycle and save the dolphins, with as many coupons as we can. Thank you.
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CountessDouche
4 years ago
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Yay!!! Annnnd I'm out of thumbs, of course...
I say, as I glance up at the yellowish 1/30th moon, more yellowerish than the single tooth of an inbred carnival worker. "Where are the mandrils!?" I demand to the mushrooms growing out of the dirty sock behind the washing machine.
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CozmoWank
4 years ago
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Cuntsiclestick
4 years ago
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Don't ridicule dentally deficient, inbred carnival workers. They are part of the attraction and add to the creepy excitement of carnivals.
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CountessDouche
4 years ago
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True. There's no ride scarier than the one assembled by transient meth addicts.
My mom looked back into her family lineage & found out that we're descended from a freak show circus midget named peanut. I have carnie blood running through my veins.
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CozmoWank
4 years ago
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Would that make them Count or Countess Peanut?
I'm glad that entertained you.
:)
I checked my fridge this morning and noticed they have all departed. Where they have gone? I do not know. If you happen to see them hiding in the raindrops dripping from the trees, tell them this important message: "The plastic, one eyebrow, corndog has finally secured the sacred bottled pool water wrapped in the sticky tape of the 1920s! It's finally time to carry out the final deed!" They'll know what it means.
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CountessDouche
4 years ago
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It's good to see the mandrils visiting a shit post again. I missed those rabid, gibbering motherfuckas
Isn't a mandrill a baboon like old world monkey?