That my husband calls me names when we argue?

I asked my husband about a potential large purchase last night and instead of discussing it, he got mad. He called me a bitch, stupid, and mental. I have stopped talking to him. He apologized for yelling and I said that I won't speak to someone who calls me names. To that he replied, "give me a fucking break".

We have been married for 30 years, this is not new behavior.

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Comments ( 24 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • He sounds like an asshole

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  • i'm gonna say no, it's not normal. there's something wrong with at least one of you. either you're doing things to warrant it, which i frankly doubt, or he's actually just a verbally abusive prick. PLEASE go to some sort of couple's counseling. even if it's been going on for 30 years, the fact that it bothers you enough to ask the internet if it's normal indicates it bothers you on some deeper level.

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  • It's literally verbal abuse

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  • Yes that is normal: The couple that fights together, stays together

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  • Damn it bitch you’ve given no backstory or explanation of the fight you’re speaking of.

    You may actually be a stupid mental bitch getting undeserved sympathy on a message board while concealing being a stupid mental bitch.

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    • It's a necessary purchase, young adult child needs a car for work (their car isn't working and is really old, too expensive to fix). Child offered to put down the downpayment and make all the payments if I finance for him. They are very responsible with money. I said that I would finance the car and then when they have credit I would transfer the loan over to them. I proposed that to my husband and major shit was lost. Actually the purchase won't go on husband's credit, he is not putting any money towards it and we don't have schedules that allow us to share cars. I'm not seeing any other options.

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  • Why are you with someone who disrespects you like that? After 30 years this behaviour isn’t going anywhere.

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    • I agree. It's weird when you are in it...it's like you realize that it's not the right reality but you justify that it's not that bad/there are good times (though less and less...and less)/everyone fights. Sometimes a reality check by strangers is a good kick in the ass.

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    • I know. I'm just waking up to the emotional abuse. Seeing a psychologist. He is a master gaslighter and has always been very good about being a dick and then being really great for a very long time, making me think that it was just my imagination or it was just a fluke, but it's happening more often over little things. I just needed some validation that didn't come from people who are my friends.

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      • Abusive behaviour should never be taken as a “fluke”. Those are typical abuse tactics, making you think it’s all in your head. Painting himself as a “nice person” when his true nature always boils beneath the surface.

        You’re doing the right thing by seeing a psychologist and, as you say, waking up to this emotional abuse.

        I wish you the best of luck with what lies ahead and recovering from this awful marriage.

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  • Ive called my wife a bitch before i dont think i ever called her stupid

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  • Normally if Im in an argument with someone I like to just scream random gibberish instead of using actual words.

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    • How is that better? I just stay away from using cunt or bitch... anything other than those words are free game.

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  • Why do I feel like my spidey sense is telling me that this guy is quite poorly endowed? 🤔

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    • I'm poorly endowed and treat women with respect. Dont assume guys with small dicks cant be good people.

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