Thankyou for your kind words and understanding and it is true that my upbringing paralysed me at a very deep level because I was always made to feel worthless and nothing was seen as right, but my "mistakes" were apparently all I could manage! My partner found the letters they wrote to me almost unbelievably cruel, such was the verbal abuse and lack of feeling to me. You can't flick a switch in the head to overcome such things, just like with depression, which I do have, very deep after such a long time of that and ill luck with employment. Survival be=gins to feel impossible to achieve. I try to be creative at times but that feels like a waste to since it does not solve the problem, though I would suggest exactly what you have to another person, such is low self worth I guess...
Terrified of Money
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Thankyou for your kind words and understanding and it is true that my upbringing paralysed me at a very deep level because I was always made to feel worthless and nothing was seen as right, but my "mistakes" were apparently all I could manage! My partner found the letters they wrote to me almost unbelievably cruel, such was the verbal abuse and lack of feeling to me. You can't flick a switch in the head to overcome such things, just like with depression, which I do have, very deep after such a long time of that and ill luck with employment. Survival be=gins to feel impossible to achieve. I try to be creative at times but that feels like a waste to since it does not solve the problem, though I would suggest exactly what you have to another person, such is low self worth I guess...