To elaborate, I don't want you to think I'm judging any decision you choose to make, as it's of your own volition and desire. I just have seen cases in which such drastic changes have had adverse effects. It's not what it seems; magically becoming the person you believe you were born to be and being entirely happy with yourself and body, overnight. Of course if it were as simple as waking up "the right" gender, body and mind, it'd be different. But it is an incredibly long and thorough process. If you're prone to phases and are not repulsed and disgusted with your body, or gender, the way it is, you should think about it for quite some time, before starting the process.
Of my friends who did this, there are the ones' who could not bear being a "male vs female, female vs male", a second longer, having only attraction to the same sex, in their original body -- and then there were the ones' who just believed societal standards made their gender "wrong", ie, the choice of clothing and way they presented themselves. Being a masculine lesbian or feminine gay male, is not the only reason to contemplate a sex change. It's so much more and so much complexity and disdain for the body you're born with, entire mental anguish, in what you see, in the mirror.
Hormonal changes that occur once the transition begins, also need to be addressed and fully understood, because you're not the same person, once this starts to take effect. If someone was already prone to phases or Indesivice behavior, the hormones can really deteriorate your state of mind and mental health. Causing immense amounts of depression and anxiety.
It's just something you should be certain of, so young, and at least be living a life on your own, first. Because it cannot be undone.
sorry I didn't read this one before commenting on the first one, but thank you for all the information. As I stated, I have no intentions - for the time being - of taking testosterone or having any type of surgery, but just actual gender identification.
I'm still physically attracted to boys. I have liked a girl before, but that was for her personality, and I wasn't really PHYSICALLY attracted to her. Anyway, it's more about what I want myself to look and be like. I don't want to have huge muscles or be super buff, I'm fine with being skinny, but I just generally like being a tiny person. But at the same time, I want to have flat chest, and I want to have male 'junk' (I really suck at saying sexual words, so I'm just gonna say junk), and I want to look like a boy, but I still like boys, and I still like being small...it's hard to explain. I really hate having boobs, and uh...girl junk...so that's really the best i can explain it. I just want my mom to know how i feel.
I agree. I think that's true of transitions. Even though op only hinted at wishing to have a male figure. It's still good to remind someone of the precautions, just in case.
One can even identify as male, and portray himself as male, without changing the body. -I'm going to call op a "he" to make him happy--- Right now, the dilemna still, is convincing his mom to let him dress the way he wants.
Plus, ideally, op should be able to enter whatever phases he/she goes through-- as well as leave those phases as he pleases. Without having to worry whether his mother approves. Even if he/she potentially, winds up identifying as male for a while, then female for a while after. (as long he didn't make the long-term physical changes, that could affect those decisions when he's not ready)
thanks you for calling me 'he', it made me really happy. I've never really thought about going from one gender to the other (identity wise), and I sort of like the idea of it, although I feel like I wouldn't get any closure by doing so, just for my own personal satisfaction, but in the end, that might just end up happening anyways as a result of my indecisiveness.
I guess I mentioned the going-thru-gender phases idea, only because other people's comments claimed you seem to not know your identity yet. I wondered, maybe they said that, in response to your writing that this may be just another major phase.
I don't think their disbelief, means you're not ready to choose your identity, if you want to (whether you're ready to choose or not, is up to you). I figured, it helps relieve pressure on a person, to know there's no shame in phasing in and out of gender identities. So if you wanted to identify as male now, you don't have to worry about people's claims that you don't know who you are yet- even if you do wind up phasing out. I hope I didn't worry you though... and make you think that phasing in & out would be the inevitable for you- sorry. That, also will be up to you, and it may not happen at all, for all we know (only you would know that).
Telling My Mom I Want to be a Guy
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To elaborate, I don't want you to think I'm judging any decision you choose to make, as it's of your own volition and desire. I just have seen cases in which such drastic changes have had adverse effects. It's not what it seems; magically becoming the person you believe you were born to be and being entirely happy with yourself and body, overnight. Of course if it were as simple as waking up "the right" gender, body and mind, it'd be different. But it is an incredibly long and thorough process. If you're prone to phases and are not repulsed and disgusted with your body, or gender, the way it is, you should think about it for quite some time, before starting the process.
Of my friends who did this, there are the ones' who could not bear being a "male vs female, female vs male", a second longer, having only attraction to the same sex, in their original body -- and then there were the ones' who just believed societal standards made their gender "wrong", ie, the choice of clothing and way they presented themselves. Being a masculine lesbian or feminine gay male, is not the only reason to contemplate a sex change. It's so much more and so much complexity and disdain for the body you're born with, entire mental anguish, in what you see, in the mirror.
Hormonal changes that occur once the transition begins, also need to be addressed and fully understood, because you're not the same person, once this starts to take effect. If someone was already prone to phases or Indesivice behavior, the hormones can really deteriorate your state of mind and mental health. Causing immense amounts of depression and anxiety.
It's just something you should be certain of, so young, and at least be living a life on your own, first. Because it cannot be undone.
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Wimpy
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Satanic_Cereal
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sorry I didn't read this one before commenting on the first one, but thank you for all the information. As I stated, I have no intentions - for the time being - of taking testosterone or having any type of surgery, but just actual gender identification.
I'm still physically attracted to boys. I have liked a girl before, but that was for her personality, and I wasn't really PHYSICALLY attracted to her. Anyway, it's more about what I want myself to look and be like. I don't want to have huge muscles or be super buff, I'm fine with being skinny, but I just generally like being a tiny person. But at the same time, I want to have flat chest, and I want to have male 'junk' (I really suck at saying sexual words, so I'm just gonna say junk), and I want to look like a boy, but I still like boys, and I still like being small...it's hard to explain. I really hate having boobs, and uh...girl junk...so that's really the best i can explain it. I just want my mom to know how i feel.
I agree. I think that's true of transitions. Even though op only hinted at wishing to have a male figure. It's still good to remind someone of the precautions, just in case.
One can even identify as male, and portray himself as male, without changing the body. -I'm going to call op a "he" to make him happy--- Right now, the dilemna still, is convincing his mom to let him dress the way he wants.
--
Satanic_Cereal
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Plus, ideally, op should be able to enter whatever phases he/she goes through-- as well as leave those phases as he pleases. Without having to worry whether his mother approves. Even if he/she potentially, winds up identifying as male for a while, then female for a while after. (as long he didn't make the long-term physical changes, that could affect those decisions when he's not ready)
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Wimpy
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thanks you for calling me 'he', it made me really happy. I've never really thought about going from one gender to the other (identity wise), and I sort of like the idea of it, although I feel like I wouldn't get any closure by doing so, just for my own personal satisfaction, but in the end, that might just end up happening anyways as a result of my indecisiveness.
--
Satanic_Cereal
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I guess I mentioned the going-thru-gender phases idea, only because other people's comments claimed you seem to not know your identity yet. I wondered, maybe they said that, in response to your writing that this may be just another major phase.
I don't think their disbelief, means you're not ready to choose your identity, if you want to (whether you're ready to choose or not, is up to you). I figured, it helps relieve pressure on a person, to know there's no shame in phasing in and out of gender identities. So if you wanted to identify as male now, you don't have to worry about people's claims that you don't know who you are yet- even if you do wind up phasing out. I hope I didn't worry you though... and make you think that phasing in & out would be the inevitable for you- sorry. That, also will be up to you, and it may not happen at all, for all we know (only you would know that).