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My boyfriend was diagnosed with cancer late, while he was taking meds for pain he was very mean and grouchy towards me. I didn't know how to handle it. I'd get upset thinking do I have to tolerate this treatment. He got mad at me and wouldn't take my calls or requests to see him, a month later he died? Is that normal?
The changes in mood were probably a result of the pain, and possibly a side effect of the pain medication. What's done is done. I think you should try to forgive him, and yourself. I honestly have little to no patience for mean grouchy people regardless of circumstance, because I know not everyone is that way. At least he isn't suffering anymore.
Write a letter to him in which you talk about all the hardships of the relationship, and your feelings then pray about it forgiving him, and yourself. When you feel that you are done burn the letter, and cast the ashes to the wind, or bury the ashes.
I know I handled it wrong...I will do what you suggested and thank you for your input, hearing the responses has helped me deeply. I do forgive him, I feel like the wrong person. It was a very hard time,it was the first time anyone close to me got diagnosed with cancer much less it was advanced. I will learn from my mistakes in case anyone in the future I'm close to reacts that way. Again thank you I will do as you advised.
Don't assume that another person who is dying will respond in the same way. I've known people who partied right up to the end, others who pretended they weren't dying and others who were angry. I find the anger understandable: as someone with two potentially life threatening medical conditions, I'm not real happy about approaching death, but I hope I don't die angry with the people I love and driving them away.