Still not over my ex

The more you think about it the more you will think about it, try and break the cycle. If you are hearing stuff about him from friends tell them (if they are friends once will be enough) to stop. Tell then you don't want any more new reports about him or his life anymore.

I cope with memories that are hurtful and make me sad or angry by telling myself that the people only still exist in my imagination.

If you don't see the people anymore then to an extent this is true, you might not know if they are alive or dead or what the look like anymore. In your mind they are the same and it is there that you keep these things alive.

You have the power to choose to be happier. It is within your complete control. Tell yourself this. When thoughts of him, or his girlfriend or anything that hurts comes into your head tell yourself how silly it is to think of them and just think about something else, put on a movie or music or do something you enjoy that will take your mind off it.

It's not about suppressing memories or denying them it is just about not actively perpetuating them. Thinking about these things is just a form of self harm. The more you fill your mind or occupy your time with other stuff the less these thoughts will occur and the less they will hurt after a while.

Before you know it you will be over it.

i truly feel for you. i went through almost the exact thing back in 2001 when i was a freshman in college. my bf of four years and i had been inseperable, then he went to college 2 hours away. he rarely came home to visit and started hanging out with all the snotty rich kids at his private school. i had nothing in common with any of them. i felt so abandoned and slowly our relationship fizzled out. I know how terrible you must feel. I still miss my ex, eight years later, sadly. but he truly is a different person now and i don't think we'd ever have the same connection. i think who i miss is the great guy who was my best friend. maybe that's what you're going through, too. the kicker was in 2006 he randomly called and asked to meet up while he was back in town. i was ecstatic and made plans to hang out with him at a bar with all of my friends. he called 2 hours after he was supposed to show up and said he was "sick" and couldn't make it. things like that remind me why it didn't work. so don't worry, you're not alone :)

The fact that he was able to get a rebound so quickly after you does not give me a very good impression of his character.

I don't mean to be rude or hurtful in any way but--is it possible your relationship meant a lot more to you than to him? Were those times of being "close" as you described, only seen that way in your eyes? I don't know you or your ex, and I can only guess at the dynamics of your relationship. From what you have said however, you are clearly deserving of better.

I understand that you still love him, but think about this: You are young with many hopes and dreams, and have a lot to offer the world if only you let yourself. Will you let him take that away from you?

It is your right and your duty to take your life back, so that the next person you meet and fall in love with will be able to enjoy the full and healed you--and not just the pieces left behind.

Write down everything you hate about what he did to you, and then tear it up and throw it out or burn it, shred it, anything--it sounds strange, maybe even scary, but this form of symbolic "destroying" has been proven to visually help people move and is used by therapists and the like.

Finally, write down everything you want and everything you will do. Start simple. "I will smile at a stranger today." Then get out there and do it. You will gain what you need to move on.

You will always have feelings for this person which will always be a sore spot for you. You have to accept it's over and will always feel that pain, but it will grow less painfull as time goes on. Don't punish yourself by remembering this guy. I had a girlfriend I dated for 7 yrs who broke up with me. It was very painfull and kept thinking what I could have done better. The guy was obviously not the person you thought he was, as he decided to allow others to change his personality. You were strong enough to not go down that road and stayed true to yourself..

definitly this sounds normal, guys are just jerks who have no idea what the hell they'r doing...A similar thing happened to me, my bf of 4 years suddenly changed into a real jerk, over a period of 3 months, and then cheated, broke it off....just keep in mind that it's not your fault, and your strong to keep to your true self instead of trying to go along with his new friends, people change and sometimes not for the better....don't sweat it, just move on to better things!!! You don't want that toxic guy in your life anyways!

Alright.. He's a total Jerk..

But you know what.. I couldn't get over my ex too.. I broke up with him and we were also v close and he was my best friend and the greatest guy i've ever met.. but I couldn't get over him at all even 2 years passed and I totally avoided talking to him for 2 whole years.. Still thought about him every second.. Until I talked to him again ..we had a deal to stay friends since we were best friends long ago before falling in love with eachotha

The funny thing is that im not too emotionally attached to him anymore .. since I started talking to him.

Just think about it..

I feel for you. It's tough. But you sound young from your post. Listen, time heals everything. I promise. Also, I applaud you for not keeping in touch with him.

Hang in there. Just continue to keep your distance like you already are.

I'm sorry! I had a similar experience with one of my X's and it took me a good year to get over him, the way I found in getting over him was to get another bf that I really cared about and had feelings for, it still took some time, but finally I got over the x jerk and moved on, I could care less now if he ever came around me. I do like to do things when we're around each other that makes him want me, but guess what he'll never get me. Take some time just to recuperated and then move on and find a better looking man than him and make him totally jealous. And fix yourself up every time you see him and strut your stuff and let him know what he ain't getting back.

same here thats wierd i kept asking my friends if i was normal 4 caring about a girl 4 2 yrs but now i no! :)by the way she left me.......

Unfortunately, people change over the years. From your story, it's clear that as he goes on over the years, he's decided that he wants something else out of relationships. He probably really treasures his friends and he's feeling stressed out arguing with you all the time over his new friends and he just couldn't take it anymore. My suggestion: you will never win him back now. Move on, love, you'll find someone else.

this is happening to me right now well my ex bf did worse he tryed to go out with my friend which hurt me alot but she told him no and weeks later he went out with sum girl and i feel so sad i miss everting about him but you should tink positive dnt look back if he didnt make you happy then there is sumone out there that is ment to be with you i no how u feel but trust me wen u fine sum1 thats right 4 u your ex will reilize what he lost and it will be 2 late let your self be loved by a honest men...

Life is cruel, i know.

I suggest you should forget him. You will never get him back. In case he will break up with his new GF don't get his backup.

wow well you should probally take a vacation. 9 months is a long time. he is not worth it, i know you must really love you butif he moved on in like weeks that cearly tells you he wasnt as serious as you were on the relationship. honey, move on. you have a whole life ahead of you guys come and go.