Stepchildren

51% Normal
7 Comments

I have been with my husband for three years and we have been married for a year.

He has a son with another woman. The boy lives with his maternal grandmother.

I have never met this child. And I'm not interested in meeting him. When we met I told my hubby that I was not interested in a man with kids and he lied that he did not have any but that he understood my position. I later found out he had a child and we broke up. Unfortunately I love the guy. We got back together and I told him that I still was not interested in being a stepmother, he said he understood.

So he goes to see his kid by himself. I do not have a child and I would like one but I'm just not interested in his kid. if his mother or grandmother were abusive I think I could live with him but as he seems happy, healthy and safe I feel like I do not need to be with him.

I dont mind spending my own money on the kid. I get him clothes, toys... I can even part with my money if he needs medication or something. We have him at a good school which I dont mind our giving up some luxuries for him to attend. And we are not rich.

I worry about his life in as far as it would hurt my husband if anything happen to him. I'm not a fan of kids but I cant stand the thoought of any child suffering and going without even him.

Is this situation normal?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 35 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Gidget
    13 years ago

    it may seem mean but i think because u told him right off the bat that u didnt want to be a stepmother then its actually not so bad.what is bad is that he lied about having a kid. thats just crazy

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  • Caps90
    13 years ago

    You know as along as your husband sees his son regularly and often it is ok. You told him from the begining you didn't want to be a stepmom and you still care about him and what is going on in his life so that is good. The only thing is you are missing out on an awesome relationship and person. You are also missing out on a huge part of your husband's life. If you, your husband, and his son are all fine with the way things are going I say there is nothing wrong with this.

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  • ayanami1234
    13 years ago

    Normal. You are doing fine.

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    ^ exactly!!

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  • lalala26
    13 years ago

    Why are so insecure and selfish you would try to deny a child of his own father, sounds like you need to grow up.

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  • scandinavia
    13 years ago

    hm it's slightly strange you haven't met your husbands child...hm I guess we are all entitled to own feelings towards someone having a past and children and I can somehow understand where you are coming from as your husband never mentioned his son up until a later point, however you still went back with him so I think it's time for you to be a little bit more in the picture, not just financially but also willing to meet him...may I ask if your husband is actively in his sons life?! because it does not sound that way as you have not met his son yet?

    I think if you love your husband, you will love what comes with him, I feel a bit sorry for the child, it doesn't sound like he has a lot of people in his life...

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  • soccer2
    13 years ago

    This sounds normal considering the details u gave. And u sound like u handle it well. Though it could possibly strengthen the relationship with ur husband if u and the kid had a relationship. I do think u should take the chance to meet him and get to know him. But as long as u r never mean and provide and know he is safe and well then it's good. I mean u told him u didn't want to be a stepmom. But u should at least meet him. He is the son of your husband ands therefore a big part of his life. U may end up liking the boy :)

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