Starting Smoking, cigarettes,

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  • Look, I mean we all know cigarettes are dangerous - but so are Big Macs and extra large French fries and jumbo sodas!

    Alcohol is dangerous and mills people too - not just from drunk driving

    The world is full of toxins and pollutants and mercury and arsenic and other things they allow for "allowable limit"

    Like, I remember finding out that the place my high school was built on was an old junk yard dump and the EPA wanted to close it down because it had toxic levels of lead and mercury!!

    And I lived in that same neighborhood! Right there surrounded by all those posions !!!

    The school board fought closing the school down because they didn't have the money to build a new one and then the EPA or whoever just gave up and said oh well - I guess it was ok for those kids to live there

    Most of the kids in my neighborhood school were black or Mexican with a small percentage of poor white trash like my family -

    we all came from families where everyone smoked - both my mom and step dad smoked, and after they broke up all her next boyfriends and ex boyfriends all smoked

    My dad and step mom smoked too, as did my step sister and my half sister from my dads previous relationship.

    My dad died from lung cancer when he was just 49

    So yeah I know smoking is bad for you

    But where I grew up everyone smoked

    When I started smoking every day by age 12 my mother didn't even try to tell me no

    I had been sneaking cigarettes from her pack since I was 8 years old

    By the time I was 12 I was smoking cigarettes before school and right after school, and would smoke in my room at home or in the living room and watch tv until My mom got home

    She didn't like me smoking in front of her at first but that didn't last long - like maybe a few months tops

    But I grew up in a house of poison

    My step dad and my moms main long term ex boyfriend both worked in the oil field and always had clothes laying around covered in god knows what chemicals

    The whole trailer smelled like a mix of diesel fuel and house hold cleaners

    Oh and I grew up most of my life right down from a chemical plant of some kind

    The trailer park near the plant was much much cheaper

    You could always smell it

    If you played outside in it you would smell like it too

    Like pesticide

    I used to cough all the time

    I would cough up blood sometimes even as a little kid

    I was diagnosed with severe asthma

    My mom wanted me to stay indoors more because I was always so sickly as a child

    So yeah I smoked because that's the world I grew up in

    By the time I was legally able to buy cigarettes I was so hopelessly addicted there was no way I was ever going to quit

    I'm sure the cigarettes contributed to my fathers lung cancer - and he smoked cigarettes till the day he died

    But you know what else killed him?

    Fucking asbestos

    He was a contractor - did all kinds of work in old buildings, stripping insulation and stuff

    He did alot of work on old power plants and refineries - the companies always wanted contractors to do the work for cheaper than their employees

    He said he used to strip the insulation out and just be covered in that white dust of asbestos all over him - caked in his mustache

    It makes me so fucking mad when I think about it

    We tried to get him in one of those asbestos lawsuits you see advertised on tv

    What a croc

    They ended up having him settle with a bunch of bankrupt companies who used to manufacture asbestos or whatever

    After his lawyers too their cut he only got $35,000

    That may sound like a bunch of money and it's more money I ever had in my entire life

    But it goes nowhere towards paying for lung cancer treatment

    It's like they shouldn't have even bothered with the damn lawsuit to begin with

    Anyways

    Asbestos and cigarettes killed my father

    But if he hadn't worked around all the asbestos maybe he'd still be here

    My mother and former step father and her boyfriends are still here and they all smoke

    My former step mom is still here and she smokes

    My older half sister is in her late thirties and she smokes all the time

    So I'm not ignorant

    I know smoking is bad for you

    It's just that everything is bad for you

    We live in a toxic world

    Surrounded by posions

    So why deny myself the pleasure of cigarettes to try to avoid a little poison ... when I live surrounded in it my whole life

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    • You are out of your fucking mind this made me so fucking angry I can't talk to you any more.

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    • To anyone in the comments who actually does have a brain, cigarettes greatly increase your risk for many diseases. Smokers justify their addiction understandably but ultimately at a certain point they all wish they had the power to control their habit. For these reasons to not have a tobacco addiction is a great gift. Becky you seem very confused about how logic, empathy, and valuing human life works. You see if something negative happens to me. I don't see that as justification or in any way related to wishing that ill upon a loved one. The only relevant information to this conversation are the toll cigarettes take on a persons life, who the fuck cares about your dad dying of asbestos? Do u really think your beta attempt at gaslighting is impressive? This is so weak Becky. I hope very badly your boyfriend can find someone else with a more appropriate grasp on reality, and that you learn what love, or fuck it even what being a decent logical human being is.

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      • And that you get help with your addiction.

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        • Much love but I've made my point. See a therapist for BPD and dont have boyfriends. You've made me too bored I'm not interested in responding any more.

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    • You are fucking awesome. Marry me 😂

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