Sounding like an idiot ordering food

55 Comments

There are some ridiculous names some restaurants choose to name their entrees. Maybe I'm I little too self conscious of sounding like an idiot, but I'm reluctant to order some things by what they call it on the menu. I usually have enough self respect not to eat at Denny's when I'm sober but the few times I have, I hate telling the waiter "I'll have the moons over my hammy." Or other places, "I'll have the seamen's bounty", "slap yo momma chicken wings", "hunka hunka burnin meat", "a tale of two patties", "the big unit." If you want me as a patron to your restaurant don't make me sound like a moron when I order your food. Does anyone else feel like an idiot when they order food with stupid names?

Yes	77
No	5
I enjoy it.	12

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Comments ( 55 )

jorry

11 years ago | pl

Where in the world are you eating? o.o

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Dick's masticated wieners mostly, sometimes i'll go to dirty sanchez's fish taco hut.
  
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NoraBaker

11 years ago

I still refuse to use Starbucks size system.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  Same. I feel like a pretentious douche when I try.
  
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- Avant-Garde
  
  11 years ago
  
  It makes no sense. It seems to me that a Grande would be the biggest size, but the Venti is! Then they call a small a tall. Now they have the Trenta which is bigger than the adult human stomach. They have failed in so many languages and levels.
  
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  - NoraBaker
    
    11 years ago
    
    Exactly!!! I'd rather be caught ordering "I'll take 'Your piece of meat in my vag' and a medium diet Pepsi" than using any of those senseless terms.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Comin right up!
      
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      - NoraBaker
        
        11 years ago
        
        Cool! Can I have that to go? :O
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        I'm a little attatched. Besides, it needs to be hot and steamy otherwise it's not as good. Ha
        
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  - Captain_Kegstand
    
    11 years ago
    
    But it sounds "exotic" and 99% of the people that go there LOVE it. Even though they have no idea what these words mean. That is what scares me, the general population is really that easy to impress!
    
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    - Avant-Garde
      
      11 years ago
      
      It's scary. But at least they could've researched the words and still make them sound "exotic".
      
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      - Captain_Kegstand
        
        11 years ago
        
        Lolz the could have, and should have, but alas, apparently the budget just didn't cover the "credibility" department!
        
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  - sassafrassi
    
    11 years ago
    
    "No, venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages."
    
    <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wic5Mf06SJ0" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wic5Mf06SJ0</a>
    
    "Oh by the way, it's called a venti because it's twenty ounces! Venti! Twenty!"
    
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- sassafrassi
  
  11 years ago
  
  lol. The first few times I went there I didn't want to order it in their lingo but now it just comes out tall & grande. I've never ordered a venti but I think I'd call it a large. It just feels weird.
  
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  - NoraBaker
    
    11 years ago
    
    Since I usually order espressos, I hardly ever have to use the common solution, which is ask for a 12, 16 or 20 oz latte, or whatever, so I don't have to use those ridiculous words there! Haha XD
    
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Immune2BS&way2Illuminated

11 years ago

You sound like your eating at Spongebob's Crappy Patty Shack.

Although I do like the sound of "The Big Unit"

Yea give me "The Big Unit" with some mayo, hold the fries. YOu got fresh fruit?? I love fresh fruit. Put fresh fruit on the side, I like my unit organized.

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Ldizzy1234

11 years ago

I feel the same way. Those are some weird names you listed. :p

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kittenlittle

11 years ago

I don't like what they call the sizes at Coldstone creamery. Instead of small, medium or large, they have "like it", "love it" and "gotta have it". That's why
i don't eat there.

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NocturnePonyFan

11 years ago

I want to know where you can buy "The Big Unit" lmao

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Alice cooperstown phoenix, arizona. I've never been there but i saw it on "No reservations." i was like i'll be damned if i would ask for a big unit to put in my mouth. Shit, might as well ask for a side of seamen chowder.
  
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

11 years ago

No. Personally I like the "moons over my hammy" ... although with bacon instead of ham.

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Captain_Kegstand

11 years ago

I make it a habit to find the dumbest sounding name on the menu, then order it as loud as I can while seriously mispronouncing the order. Just for giggles!

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

A tale of two patties?

Only one patties I know about.

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- Captain_Kegstand
  
  11 years ago
  
  Did you open a fast food place and not tell us about it? ha!
  
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NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

Urrghh...
So there is this smoothie place, a GREAT smoothie place, and the smoothies have porn names! I fucking swear they did it on purpose. I don't go there for the sole reason that I don't want small children and the elderly hearing me say something like "I want a Hot Dirty Fun on the Beach" or "I was a Deliciously Sinful Surf Body please".

Nobody else seems to mind, and those are the mildest titles. For a smoothie shop in the mall! Those assholes.

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GuessWho

11 years ago

All those are just fancy and/or stupid names for a standard product.
I just call it what it is. If I want a chicken burger, I ask for a "Chicken Burger" regardless what they called it on the menu. It's up to the waiter to dumb it down to their own terminology on the order.

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zchristian

11 years ago

Usually there are also numbers next to the name i would use those instead...

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BlackDays

11 years ago

Ugh, yes. Rooti tooti fresh and frooti?? Come on now. Lumberjack slam? Ok. Oh I hated taking my husband to burger king! The only time I'll go through a drive-thru is for him. Anyway they had 'buck doubles'. I hated saying that. I always laughed when ordering because my brain wanted to say 'duck bubbles'. Ha! I crack myself up. And I'm with a few of the above comments on starbucks sizes. I just say small medium or large when I go there. Not often, there's a much better place that I go to.

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- NoraBaker
  
  11 years ago
  
  Hahahaha I can't stop saying rooti tooti fresh and frooti!!! I also like the duck bubbles! I had two very good laughs reading your comment! Thank you! :D
  
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  - BlackDays
    
    11 years ago
    
    :D just reading duck bubbles again made me giggle ..a lot. Makes me think of ducks farting in a puddle :)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Me too. you have a lot more goin on than that hair ;)
      
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      - BlackDays
        
        11 years ago
        
        Hey now! :)
        
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dfsq

11 years ago

I'm like that too. I hate ordering alcoholic drinks like 'sex on the beach, pop your cherry' etc and if the menu says tasty crispy chicken, I just shorten it to crispy chicken.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  At first yeah, then once i get a few in me i'm askin for crazy shit that's not on the menu. "hey sexy bartender! let me get a 'dumpster love 69' out back.
  
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Samson

11 years ago

Yes i would hate to have to call out ridiculous names as you have described thats why here in canada (or where i live anyways) they mostly go by names like "Trio" or #1 #2 and so on and so fourth, So i don't really have that issue but in my opinion i would hate that.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

I agree 100%. I hate that shit.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thank you. At least 47 people agree. They should be paying me to sound like an idiot for their amusement. The waiters have gotta be laughing in their heads.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    I never order it the way it is written on the menu, and If I can't get out what I want without saying the stupid name I will point and say that.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      That's the benefit of eating at a buffet, at which you will never eat more than me, kobayashi!!
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        11 years ago
        
        Should have known it was you.
        
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myownopinions

11 years ago

Don't know, it's never happened to me before, but I think I'd find it more amusing than annoying.

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sassafrassi

11 years ago

On the rare occasion I want something that sounds stupid or that I'm not sure how to pronounce I just point at it and show it to the waiter. :D

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Anime7

11 years ago

I actually feel quite witty when I order a dirty orgasm off of jamba juices secret menu.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  Oh god that's another place that I hate >.<
  
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- GuessWho
  
  11 years ago
  
  "Orgasm", "Blow Job", "A Piece of Ass", "Angel's Tit", "Porn Star", "Liquid Cocaine", and "Sex on the Beach" are all names of cocktails that you should in theory be able to order at any bar.
  ...Not to mention many more. Cocktails are often given weird or dirty names.
  
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  - Anime7
    
    11 years ago
    
    Never knew that. Pretty interesting.
    
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- Sweetz
  
  11 years ago
  
  that sounds orgasmic ;)
  
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  - Anime7
    
    11 years ago
    
    It's not a bad drink. The reaction from the cashier is always the best, especially if it's a girl serving you. haha.
    
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    - Sweetz
      
      11 years ago
      
      Thanks, might have to try this with a male cashier. Off to look up secret menus from different places now.
      
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dappled

11 years ago

I felt like an idiot when I ordered pilau rice with a biryani. The very nice waiter tried to talk me out of it but I was oh, so, drunk. The idiot card presented itself to me about twenty minutes after I insisted.

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Subfinmatic

11 years ago

I'll just call what it actually is and not those god awful retarded names.

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BloodAndFire

11 years ago

I haven't ever ordered any food with dumb names. & I hope I never do because I'd feel like an idiot too. :P

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Sounding like an idiot ordering food