Don't ignore it and let him do it. He won't be able to get enough of it.
Liking the smell of feet won't pass.
Liking the way feet smell is not unusual but it is not socially acceptable.
At age 4, I felt like I could tell my Mom anything. I told her I "liked" the smell of feet. She immediately jumped my case and began yelling at me. I guess it was fortunate I didn't tell her how I wanted to lick feet too. From that moment I had to keep my love of foot smell and my desire for feet a top secret. She tried to straighten me out. But the fact of the matter was I had an enormous fetish for feet even at age 4 and earlier. And I have had it all of my life.
I hope you can let him express himself to you about this. He might be embarrassed. Eventually he might open up about it with encouragement. Then you can explain to him that it is not good manners to be smelling people's feet. You can let him know people will say bad things about him.
After discussing it with him, tell him he can't behave like this. You can't let him behave inappropriately. You may have to punish him because this desire he has acted out on has become SO STRONG, he will need punishment to make him desist. This won't make him crazy as an adult for stopping him.
Even though it was repressed in my childhood, I turned out alright.
I've been married for many years. Yes, I enjoy my wife's feet as part of our lovemaking.
Sorry for my delayed response - I somehow didn't get the email notification but happy to see people are still giving advice here. I definitely will take your advice - combined with the other good advice on this post: Letting him know acceptable boundaries, telling him no when he is doing something appropriate, looking at women as complete and complex beings and not objects to fulfill his desires...
I do like some of your perspectives though - to talk with him about his desires... and from those with the fetish, it sounds like it is in fact a desire from a young age. That is what I was wondering.
MY other concern is that if he doesn't objectify women, he might get a 'relationship' with the objects that embed their scent (shoes, pantyhose). See above my comment about the babysitter. I got a new, more reliable babysitter with less temptation - his grandmother.. And she told me she caught him in my room sniffing my shoes. So, then I had to have a heart-to-heart talk with my mom about this situation. She seemed more like your mom - thought I was playing way too nice and needed to ship him off to a doctor for a psych evaluation.
I didn't want to tell her about this thread. And wanted to write her off, but then this happened: I had not been to the laundrymat nor handwashed a pair of pantyhose (I was behind on this goal) - rewore a pair to work and they all smelled pretty strong. I got a runner and threw them in the trashcan in my bathroom. That night, I went to check on him and when I entered the room static electricity went underneath his sheets, so I turned the light on, and found my pantyhose laying across his belly. His pants were pulled down. I was livid, but thought about your post.
I told him if it wasn't appropriate to sniff my friend's feet, it really wasn't appropriate to steal his mommy's worn undergarments and do that in bed with them. He began crying and said he missed Katie - the coworker that babysit him - she let him sniff her feet for hours while she talked on the phone or watched TV. He wanted to sniff them all day and thought about it constantly, since the pretty girls didn't come over, he didn't know what to do. I asked him if he'd been taking my pantyhose and he admitted he did daily.
I now have a real problem on my hands - the behavior is obsessive. I'm seriously thinking of switching jobs. I've since switched to footless pantyhose while I look for a job. As you've said, it has become very strong. I really worry it will be a daily struggle for the rest of his life, from your's and other's comments. I'm not sure what triggers the fetish, but I don't really like something that will consume my son's attention so much.
I have punished him for what he did with my undergarments and will continue to do so, but now it has taken on a sneaky side. I think I'll be like most women and get rid of pantyhose from my clothing altogether, and tell my friends they can't wear them around him. He'll probably forever fantasize about the good ole' days when he was a kid and got to do this stuff - I'll just watch when he's a teenager = if he starts bringing girls home wearing pantyhose, I'll know what's up and have to consider having a private talk with them.
I'm as confused now as I was when I started this thread... but thank you all for your advice, it has helped, but not solved this issue.
Hi working mom. Your son does have a foot fetish. He reminds me of when I was young.You should probably get a babysitter that will let him smell her nylon feet.Otherwise he will get into trouble at school smelling girls feet or something like that.Therapy does not work. believe me I tried it.The more you tell him not to do it, the more he will do it.SORRY!!
Hi amazingguy,
Thanks for your perspective. Not by choice, but for a month I did have a coworker babysit who let him enjoy sniffing her nylon feet all the time. I have since ended this arrangement (see above on this thread for the details).
From your perspective, you think this actually helped him or are you just saying from a fetish perspective this is what he wants? What if all of my coworkers had let him sniff their feet without question? Assuming your serious, I think this would create more problems, not less.
After thinking and dealing with this for a long time now, I think it definitely is a fetish (I'd say partialism/preference). There is a careful balance between repressing his desires (bad) and learning boundaries / how to express them.
I've since stopped working at the place and got an office job. I removed pantyhose from my wardrobe - I feel bad about this but I don't know another way. I don't want him fantasizing or channeling that sexual preference toward his mother.
I have thought about doing the unthinkable though - telling female friends about his preference, teaching him to ask nicely if he can rub their feet, and if they let him, to sniff them later. This will teach him healthy boundaries.
What is not a healthy boundary and I still need advice on - is this is a sexual desire showing young. And he is obviously getting aroused. So, at his age, the problem with this plan is it would be exposing him to adult intimate contact (sniffing feet) at a young age. My struggle, is.. the cat is already out of the bag. Yet... if he got caught sniffing one of my friend's panties when they stayed the night, it doesn't mean i would teach him to ask them nicely and if they said yes, go ahead. THAT is clearly inappropriate... which makes the whole thing just confusing and odd - a foot massage isn't inappropriate.. sniffing feet borders on it.
I'm just trying to be a compassionate mom who sets boundaries and raises him to enjoy a healthy sexuality later - not repressed, not uncontrolled, just balanced. Repressed would be : no woman with pantyhose around him ever again, shoes always on, no massages, no sniffing. Uncontrolled would be : hiring a babysitter to let him sniff her nylon feet all the time, or letting him steal my pantyhose, etc. What balanced would be is somewhere in between. Still seeking.
Son keeps smelling my coworkers feet IIN?
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Don't ignore it and let him do it. He won't be able to get enough of it.
Liking the smell of feet won't pass.
Liking the way feet smell is not unusual but it is not socially acceptable.
At age 4, I felt like I could tell my Mom anything. I told her I "liked" the smell of feet. She immediately jumped my case and began yelling at me. I guess it was fortunate I didn't tell her how I wanted to lick feet too. From that moment I had to keep my love of foot smell and my desire for feet a top secret. She tried to straighten me out. But the fact of the matter was I had an enormous fetish for feet even at age 4 and earlier. And I have had it all of my life.
I hope you can let him express himself to you about this. He might be embarrassed. Eventually he might open up about it with encouragement. Then you can explain to him that it is not good manners to be smelling people's feet. You can let him know people will say bad things about him.
After discussing it with him, tell him he can't behave like this. You can't let him behave inappropriately. You may have to punish him because this desire he has acted out on has become SO STRONG, he will need punishment to make him desist. This won't make him crazy as an adult for stopping him.
Even though it was repressed in my childhood, I turned out alright.
I've been married for many years. Yes, I enjoy my wife's feet as part of our lovemaking.
--
workingmom
7 years ago
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Dave167,
Sorry for my delayed response - I somehow didn't get the email notification but happy to see people are still giving advice here. I definitely will take your advice - combined with the other good advice on this post: Letting him know acceptable boundaries, telling him no when he is doing something appropriate, looking at women as complete and complex beings and not objects to fulfill his desires...
I do like some of your perspectives though - to talk with him about his desires... and from those with the fetish, it sounds like it is in fact a desire from a young age. That is what I was wondering.
MY other concern is that if he doesn't objectify women, he might get a 'relationship' with the objects that embed their scent (shoes, pantyhose). See above my comment about the babysitter. I got a new, more reliable babysitter with less temptation - his grandmother.. And she told me she caught him in my room sniffing my shoes. So, then I had to have a heart-to-heart talk with my mom about this situation. She seemed more like your mom - thought I was playing way too nice and needed to ship him off to a doctor for a psych evaluation.
I didn't want to tell her about this thread. And wanted to write her off, but then this happened: I had not been to the laundrymat nor handwashed a pair of pantyhose (I was behind on this goal) - rewore a pair to work and they all smelled pretty strong. I got a runner and threw them in the trashcan in my bathroom. That night, I went to check on him and when I entered the room static electricity went underneath his sheets, so I turned the light on, and found my pantyhose laying across his belly. His pants were pulled down. I was livid, but thought about your post.
I told him if it wasn't appropriate to sniff my friend's feet, it really wasn't appropriate to steal his mommy's worn undergarments and do that in bed with them. He began crying and said he missed Katie - the coworker that babysit him - she let him sniff her feet for hours while she talked on the phone or watched TV. He wanted to sniff them all day and thought about it constantly, since the pretty girls didn't come over, he didn't know what to do. I asked him if he'd been taking my pantyhose and he admitted he did daily.
I now have a real problem on my hands - the behavior is obsessive. I'm seriously thinking of switching jobs. I've since switched to footless pantyhose while I look for a job. As you've said, it has become very strong. I really worry it will be a daily struggle for the rest of his life, from your's and other's comments. I'm not sure what triggers the fetish, but I don't really like something that will consume my son's attention so much.
I have punished him for what he did with my undergarments and will continue to do so, but now it has taken on a sneaky side. I think I'll be like most women and get rid of pantyhose from my clothing altogether, and tell my friends they can't wear them around him. He'll probably forever fantasize about the good ole' days when he was a kid and got to do this stuff - I'll just watch when he's a teenager = if he starts bringing girls home wearing pantyhose, I'll know what's up and have to consider having a private talk with them.
I'm as confused now as I was when I started this thread... but thank you all for your advice, it has helped, but not solved this issue.
--
LittleGirlViolentlySodomized
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You should comment on NEW POSTS as these posts are OLD POSTS the site needs to be updated. workingmom
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Hi working mom. Your son does have a foot fetish. He reminds me of when I was young.You should probably get a babysitter that will let him smell her nylon feet.Otherwise he will get into trouble at school smelling girls feet or something like that.Therapy does not work. believe me I tried it.The more you tell him not to do it, the more he will do it.SORRY!!
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workingmom
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Hi amazingguy,
Thanks for your perspective. Not by choice, but for a month I did have a coworker babysit who let him enjoy sniffing her nylon feet all the time. I have since ended this arrangement (see above on this thread for the details).
From your perspective, you think this actually helped him or are you just saying from a fetish perspective this is what he wants? What if all of my coworkers had let him sniff their feet without question? Assuming your serious, I think this would create more problems, not less.
After thinking and dealing with this for a long time now, I think it definitely is a fetish (I'd say partialism/preference). There is a careful balance between repressing his desires (bad) and learning boundaries / how to express them.
I've since stopped working at the place and got an office job. I removed pantyhose from my wardrobe - I feel bad about this but I don't know another way. I don't want him fantasizing or channeling that sexual preference toward his mother.
I have thought about doing the unthinkable though - telling female friends about his preference, teaching him to ask nicely if he can rub their feet, and if they let him, to sniff them later. This will teach him healthy boundaries.
What is not a healthy boundary and I still need advice on - is this is a sexual desire showing young. And he is obviously getting aroused. So, at his age, the problem with this plan is it would be exposing him to adult intimate contact (sniffing feet) at a young age. My struggle, is.. the cat is already out of the bag. Yet... if he got caught sniffing one of my friend's panties when they stayed the night, it doesn't mean i would teach him to ask them nicely and if they said yes, go ahead. THAT is clearly inappropriate... which makes the whole thing just confusing and odd - a foot massage isn't inappropriate.. sniffing feet borders on it.
I'm just trying to be a compassionate mom who sets boundaries and raises him to enjoy a healthy sexuality later - not repressed, not uncontrolled, just balanced. Repressed would be : no woman with pantyhose around him ever again, shoes always on, no massages, no sniffing. Uncontrolled would be : hiring a babysitter to let him sniff her nylon feet all the time, or letting him steal my pantyhose, etc. What balanced would be is somewhere in between. Still seeking.
Any advice appreciated!